“If your front door has a mail slot, then you live in a mailbox”
Some houses don't have a mailbox -- just a mail slot in the front door. "If your front door has a mail slot, then you live in a mailbox" was posted on Reddit -- Shower Thoughts on…
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“What do you call a witch’s garage?”/“A broom closet.”
A witch riddle is: Q: What do you call a witch’s garage?A: A broom closet. The popular Halloween riddle was posted on the newsgroup soc.culture.filipino on October 22, 1996. Google Groups:…
“Why is there a thing called a grapefruit, when there’s a fruit called a grape?”
"Why is the grapefruit called a grapefruit? I mean, there is already a fruit called a grape. Doesn’t make a lick of sense" was asked on Twitter on April 28, 2009. "Why is it called…
“What kind of company is a 24-hour hamburger joint?”/“Fry-by-night.”
A shady business is a "fly-by-night." Is a shady restaurant business a "fry-by-night"? A pun is: Q: What kind of company is a 24-hour hamburger joint?A: Fry-by-night. The joke…
“I’ve been exercising using dictionaries, and I’m finally starting to see some definition”
People work out to "see some definition," such as muscles coming out from what used to be fat. "Been bench pressing dictionaries, starting to see some definition in my arms..."…
“What do you call haunted yogurt?”/“Paranormal Activia.”
Activia is a brand of yogurt; the name sounds like "activity." "Would it be gauche to bring the script for my "Paranormal Activia" skit to snl tonight? It's like…
Ditcher, Quick & Hyde (fictitious divorce law firm)
"Dewey, Cheatham & Howe" is a jocular fictitious law/accounting/consulting firm name. "Ditcher, Quick & Hyde" is a jocular fictitious divorce law firm name.…
“I, for one, like Roman numerals”
"I, for one, like Roman numerals" -- "I'" is the Roman numeral for "one" -- is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was…
“Dehydration is not something to cry about”
"Dehydration is not something to cry about" is a jocular one-line saying that was posted on Twitter on December 10, 2012. The saying was posted on Reddit -- Oneliners on October 27, 2017.…
“The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran”
"The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran" is a jocular one-line saying that is frequently grouped with similar puns. "The man who survived…
“Body language is self explanatory”
"Body language is self explanatory, but most people don't use their eyes the way they should" was posted on Twitter on February 10, 2010, but it's not evident that a pun was…
“What is a ghost’s favorite party game?”/“Hide-and-go-shriek.”
A popular Halloween riddle on the game of "hide-and-seek" (or "hide-and-go-seek") is: Q: What is a ghost's favorite party game?A: Hide-and-go-shriek. The…
“Where do baby ghosts go during the day?”/“Dayscare centers.”
A baby ghost riddle is: Q: Where do baby ghosts go during the day?A: Dayscare centers. The popular Halloween riddle was posted on the newsgroup alt.folklore.ghost-stories on October 31, 1997.…
“If you are what you eat, then zombies are humans”
Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin (1755-1826), in the book Physiologie du Gout (1825), wrote "Tell me what you eat, and I shall tell you what you are," often interpreted as "you are what…
“I need glasses to see my family. Specifically, two glasses of Scotch”
"Glasses" can mean eyeglasses, but it can also mean drinking glasses. "I've been writing for 40min and my head is spinning already. I think I need glasses. two glasses. of…
“Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?”/“He didn’t have any guts.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A skeleton version is: Q: Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?A:…
Cardinals (St. Louis baseball team in the National League)
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: St. Louis CardinalsThe St. Louis Cardinals are an American professional baseball team based in St. Louis, Missouri. The Cardinals compete in Major League…
“Boomerangs are just frisbees for lonely people”
"Boomerangs are just frisbees for lonely people" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Both boomerangs and frisbees are thrown, but a boomerang can be returned without the…
“ATMs are pressed for cash”
The term "pressed for cash" -- needing money -- usually doesn't mean literal pressing, but a joke was posted on Reddit -- Oneliners pn October 26, 2017: "ATMs are pressed for…
“If you are what you eat, then zombies should be a lot smarter”
Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin (1755-1826), in the book Physiologie du Gout (1825), wrote "Tell me what you eat, and I shall tell you what you are," often interpreted as "you are what…