“Alcoholism is a disease. Get your shots here!” (bar sign)
"Alcoholism is a disease. Get your shots here!" is a jocular bar saying that has been printed on an image. "Bar sign in Casper: Alcoholism is a disease. Get your shots at…
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“What is a pirate’s favorite drink?”/“Hi-C.”
The fruit juice-flavored drink Hi-C sounds like "high sea." "Q: What do pirate kids drink to prevent scurvy? A: High Sea" was posted on Twitter on September 19, 2008.…
“My mayonnaise is trying kill me or so my sauces tell me”
"It's national pasta day.....so my sauces tell me..." -- a pun on "my sources tell me" -- was posted on Twitter on January 24, 2013. "Apparenty, the Heinz ketchup has…
“What do two communists have in common?”/“Everything.”
A communism riddle was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on January 14, 2018: Q: What do two communists have in common?A: Everything. Wikipedia: CommunismIn political and social sciences, communism (from…
“I tell dad jokes, but I have no kids. I’m a faux pa”
"Faux pas" is sometimes punned as "faux pa." The pun is especially frequent on Father's Day. "A friend tried to tell me recently that I'm not allowed to make dad…
“How does a capitalist text?”/“BY YELLING.”
A "capitalist" is sometimes just a person who likes to write in all capital letters. "All caps" is regarded online as shouting or yelling. A joke was posted on Reddit --…
“Efficiency is clever laziness”
"Efficiency is clever laziness" is another form of the old saying, "Choose a lazy person to do a hard job because that person will find an easy way to do it." The saying…
“What’s the derivative of Amazon?”/“Amazon Prime.”
Amazon Prime is a paid subscription service offered by Amazon.com. It has nothing to do with prime numbers, but there have been several jokes. "What's the derivative of Amazon prime?…
“How could the dolphin afford to buy a house?”/“He prawned everything.”
"Prawn" sounds to some like "pawn." A riddle is: Q: How could the dolphin afford to buy a house?A: He prawned everything. The joke was posted on the newsgroup…
“Doctor says alcoholism is a disease. Bartender says get your shots here”
"Alcoholism is a disease. Get your shots here!" is a jocular bar saying that has been printed on an image. "Bar sign in Casper: Alcoholism is a disease. Get your shots at…
“What drink always has a cold?”/“Cough-ee.”
"Coffee" sounds like "cough-ee." A riddle has been printed on an image: Q: What drink has a cold?A: Cough-ee. "Joke of the week: What drink has a cold? Cough-ee" was…
“A rock walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A rock version is: "A rock walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'We don't…
“Cannibal 1: Your wife makes great soup. Cannibal 2: Yes, but I’ll miss her.”
There's a difference, when a wife "makes soup," between "preparing" the soup and "being in" the soup. A cannibal joke is: Cannibal 1: Your wife makes great soup.…
“I find jello a little off-pudding”
"Off-pudding" is a pun or eggcorn of "off-putting." "A little off-pudding?" was printed in a 2000 newspaper story. "I saw Bill Cosby eating some yogurt and it was…
“Jokes about white sugar are rare. Jokes about brown sugar—Demerara”
"Demerara" sugar sounds like "them are rarer." "There aren't that many jokes about white sugar. But jokes about brown sugar....demerara! HAHAHAHAHAHA!! credit to…
“I spent too much money on video games this month. All of my savings have gone up in Steam”
Steam is a platform for video games. Money often goes "up in smoke," but a video gaming joke is: "I spent too much money on video games this month. All of my savings have gone up in…
“What’s larger than a pico de gallo?”/“A kilo de gallo.”
The Mexican dish of "pico de gallo" is not a metric prefix, but there have been jokes. "I got a burrito at lunch just to quip that with the amount of salsa they put on, they should…
“What do you get if you cross a lamp with a violin?”/“You get light music.”
A music riddle is: Q: What do you get if you cross a lamp with a violin?A: You get light music. The "light music" pun has been cited in print since at least 1999. 13 July 1999, Home News…
“Fun Fact: There’s more time spent installing Adobe updates than the actual use of Adobe”
"Fun Fact: There’s more time spent installing Adobe updates than the actual use of Adobe" is a jocular one-line saying about a computer user's relationship with Adobe software.…
“Why did the printer go to the gym?”/“To get toner.”
A gym riddle is: Q: Why did the printer go to the gym?A: To get toner. The joke was posted on Twitter on February 8, 2013, and on Reddit -- Jokes on December 28, 2017. “The man leaned on the…