“What do race horses eat?”/“Fast food.”
A "fast food" riddle is: Q: What do race horses eat?A: Fast food. "Whast kinds of food does race horses eat? FAST FOOD! :) #cheesyjoke" was posted on Twitter by Arlynne Kayla on…
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“Why is a room full of married people empty?”/“Because there’s not a single person in it.”
A riddle about rooms is: Q: Why is a room full of married people like an empty room?A: Because there's not a single person in it. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 1823. Google…
“Coffee first, your bullshit second”
"Coffee first, your bullshit second" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "Ok, Coffee first, your bullshit second...gimme sometime to wake up, please, thank…
“Why can’t cars play football?”/“Because they only have one boot.”
A UK riddle about football (soccer) is: Q: Why can't cars play football?A: Because they only have one boot. A car's "boot" is its "trunk" (US). A person's boot is…
“Don’t be shy. Send that 12th unanswered text.—Tequila”
"Don’t be shy. Send that 12th unanswered text. -- Tequila" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Don’t be shy, send that 7th unanswered text" was posted…
“Just had lunch at a Christian restaurant called ‘The Lord Giveth.’ They also do takeaways”
"The LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away" is from Job 1:21 in the Bible. "Just had lunch at an excellent Christian restaurant called 'The Lord Giveth'. They also do…
“Boss: You should have been here at 8:30! Employee: Why, what happened at 8:30?”
An employment joke about a late employee is: Boss: You should have been here at 8:30!Employee: Why? What happened at 8:30? The joke was printed in many newspapers in 1935. 20 March 1935, San Diego…
“I couldn’t work for that man after what he said to me” (joke)
An employment joke was printed in the Wilmington (DE) Morning News on December 26, 1933: "If the boss doesn't take back what he said to me, I shall leave.""What did he…
“Time flies when you’re throwing watches”
"Time flies" means that time passes quickly. Time doesn't literally "fly," but there are jokes. "Time flies when you throw your watch" was posted on the newsgroup…
“I’ve started cross fit. I cross my fingers and hope my pants fit”
"I'm really into crossfit. I cross my fingers and hope my ass fits in those jeans" is a jocular line that has been printed on many images. "Yeah I do Crossfit.... I CROSS my…
“If it’s in stock, we have it” (store sign)
"If it's in stock, we have it" is a jocular store saying that has been printed on many images. "If it's in stock we have it, and if we ain't got it, you don't…
“If I owned a diner I’d have a sandwich called ‘The Usual’ so everyone would feel special”
Many diners has special, invented names for sandwiches. "If I owned a diner I'd have a sandwich called 'The Usual' so everyone would feel special. #fb" was posted on…
“Time flies when you throw away calendars”
"Time flies" means that time passes quickly. Time doesn't literally "fly," but there are jokes. "Time flies when you throw away calendars" was posted on Twitter…
“I backed a horse last week at ten to one. It came in at quarter past four”
"I backed a horse last week at ten to one. It came in at quarter past four" -- the first numbers are odds, but the second numbers are a time (it took the horse over three hours to run the…
“Friendships must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, and shenanigans”
"Friendships must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, inappropriateness, and shenanigans" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Friendships must be built…
“Coffee and friends make the perfect blend”
"Coffee and friends are/make the perfect blend" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. " Coffee and Friends Are The Perfect Blend" was posted on Twitter by MN…
“I didn’t choose the mug life. The mug life chose me”
"I didn't choose the mug life. The mug life chose me" is a jocular coffee saying that has been printed on many images. The pun is on the term "thug life." "I…
“Coffee: A warm, delicious alternative to hating everybody every morning forever”
"Coffee: A warm, delicious alternative to hating everybody every morning forever" is a jocular coffee saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter by Kim…
“What is an SEO’s favorite music?”/“Heavy Meta.”
A computer riddle with a pun on the term "heavy metal" music is: Q: What is an SEO's favorite music?A: Heavy Meta. "I'm so hipster my favourite music genre is Heavy…
“Coffee! If you’re not shaking, you need another cup”
"Coffee! If you're not shaking, you need another cup" is a jocular coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "COFFEE! if your not shaking....you need another…