“What do you call an Irishman hanging from the ceiling?”/“Sean D’Olier.”
"Chandelier" isn't an Irish word, but there are several Irish puns. "Q. What do you call an Irishman hanging from the ceiling? A. Sean de Lier" was posted on the newsgroup…
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“If we go to prison for downloading music, I hope they separate us by genre”
"If we go to prison for downloading music, I hope they separate us by genre" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "If someday we all go to prison for downloading…
“Men have feelings, too. For example, we feel hungry”
"Men have feelings, too. For example, we feel hungry" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Says men have feelings too...hunger for example" was posted on…
“Men have feelings, too. Sometimes we feel thirsty”
"Men have feelings, too. Sometimes we feel thirsty" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Men have #feelings too: Thirst" was posted on Twitter by chkchkchk…
“I turn coffee into tax returns”
"I turn coffee into tax returns" is a jocular tax season saying that has been printed on many images. The speaker is a tax preparer who needs coffee to function. "I turn coffee into…
“I’m not a big fan of archery. It has too many drawbacks”
"I'm not a big fan of archery. It has too many drawbacks" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. The joke originated on the website Pun of the Day on June 13,…
“What do you call an Irishman who won’t stop bouncing off the walls?”/“Rick O’Shea.”
The word "ricochet" is sometimes punned into the Irish name "Ric/Rick O'Shay/O'Shea." "What do you call an Irishman who always returns? Rick O'Shay" was…
“I taught my daughter what the word ‘bargain’ meant” (joke)
"I'd like to thank the person who taught me the meaning of the word 'bargain', it means a great deal" was posted on Twitter by Spocksgoat on December 17, 2014. A form of…
“Coffee is so popular, it’s had an entire line of tables named after it”
The popularity of coffee gave us the term "coffee table." "Besides Coffee, what other drink has a table named after it" was posted on Facebook by Coffee City USA on February 2,…
“I tried to force-feed our son when my wife said, ‘Use the fricking spoon. You’re not a Jedi’”
"Force-feeding" doesn't involve the "Force" from the
“Tough shit if you do not eat enough fiber”
"Don't get enough fiber? Tough shit" was posted on the newsgroup alt.religion.kibology on October 8, 1996. The joke was popularized by stand-up comedian Jimmy Carr on the British…
“Weight loss mantra? Fat chants!”
"Fat chance" actually means slim or no chance. "Fat chance" shouldn't be confused with "fat chants," but there are jokes. "My wife seems to think that…
“Weight loss pills stolen this morning—police say suspects are still at large”
Police suspects are often said to be "at large" (that is, not captured). "At large" has nothing to do with weight, but there are jokes. This was posted on the website Pun of the…
“Marching Band: Making socially awkward kids feel accepted since July”
"Marching Band: Making socially awkward kids feel accepted since August" is a jocular saying that has been made into an image. GK1932 commented: "Dumbass, you know Band Camp starts…
“I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol”
"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying probably originated from a bumper sticker. "I drive way too…
“Yay, it’s Friday! Oh wait, I’m a realtor”
Many realtors work on weekends. "Yay, it's Friday! Oh wait, I'm a realtor" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Yaaaaay! It's Friday!!! Oh wait…
BYOB (Bring Your Own Bag)
"BYOB" doesn't always stand for "Bring Your Own Bottle." "BYOB Bring Your Own Bag" has been printed on many images. Stores request customers to bring their own…
“What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes?”/“Fat. You get fat.”
An anti-joke about the number 3.14 ("pi") was posted on Twitter by Zack Riley 🇦🇺 on October 31, 2018: "What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes?Fat, you get Fat.What? were you…
“Today, I found a penny. It reminded me of you” (joke)
"Today, I found a penny. It reminded me of you -- worthless and found in everyone's pants" is a joke that has been printed on many images. "Found a penny on the ground today and…
“It’s a small world, but I wouldn’t want to paint it”
“It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. American stand-up comedian Steven Wright has used the line since at…