“Clients go to jail and lawyers go to lunch”
"Clients go to jail and lawyers go to lunch" is an old saying of unknown origin. This was printed in the Chicago (IL) Tribune on November 19, 1991: "An old joke about the judiciary…
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“Fall off the turnip wagon” (to be naive, uninformed)
A turnip truck/wagon conveys the image of a country bumpkin driving in to the big city. "I didn't just fall off the turnip truck" -- it's usually expressed in the negative --…
“My child, my choice”
"My child, my choice" is a parents' rights saying that has been printed on many images. The saying often refers to the choice of vaccinating a child, and can refer to educational…
“Two sewing machines walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A version involving two sewing machines was posted on Twitter by Fenella Kernebone on…
“Three sewing machines walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A version involving two sewing machines was posted on Twitter by Fenella Kernebone on…
“The worst kind of loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself”
"The worst kind of loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown. "Mark twain once said 'The worst…
“Loneliness is the ultimate poverty”
"Loneliness is the ultimate poverty" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Loneliness is the ultimate poverty. Frank Tyger" was printed in the Winston County…
“Fall off the turnip truck” (to be naive, uninformed)
A turnip truck/wagon conveys the image of a country bumpkin driving in to the big city. "I didn't just fall off the turnip truck" -- it's usually expressed in the negative --…
“Freedom of speech is not a license to be stupid”
"Freedom of speech is not a license to be stupid" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The First Amendment to the United States Constitution guarantees freedom of speech. The…
“He who controls the weather will control the world”
Vice President Lyndon B. Johnson (1908-1973) spoke at his alma mater, Southwest Texas State University (today known as Texas State University), on May 27, 1962. He received the university’s first…
“Surely, not everybody was kung-fu fighting”
"Surely, not everybody was kung-fu fighting" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The joke is on the song "Kung Fu Fighting" (1974) by Carl Douglas, which…
“Sometimes it’s not about how good you are, but how bad you want it”
"It's not how good you are. It's how bad you want it" (or "Sometimes it's not about how good you are, but how bad you want it" is a motivational saying that has…
“It’s not how good you are. It’s how bad you want it”
"It's not how good you are. It's how bad you want it" (or "Sometimes it's not about how good you are, but how bad you want it" is a motivational saying that has…
“My personality is who I am, my attitude depends on who you are”
"Don’t confuse my personality with my attitude. My personality is who I am, my attitude depends on who you are" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Don't…
“You’re going to shit yourself when I tell you the price” (joke)
A popular joke has a woman look over something expensive (usually, but not always, a car). She touches it and farts. "Can I help you?" a salesman asks. The woman, hoping that he…
“A sign said ‘Lobster Tails $2.’ I paid $2 and was told, ‘Once upon a time there was a lobster…’”
"Lobster tails" shouldn't be confused with "lobster tales," but there are jokes. "Once upon a time there was a lobster… #lobstertales" was posted on Twitter by…
“Where do naughty rainbows go?”/“Prism.”
A rainbow riddle is: Q: Where do naughty rainbows go?A: Prism. "Prism" sounds like "prison." "Where do rainbows go when they break the law? Prism. #iamthefunniest" was…
“People who say fractions are better than decimals are missing the point”
"People who say fractions are better than decimals are missing the point" is a math pun that was posted on Twitter by Jack McFadden on July 24, 2015. "If you are converting decimals…
“What is the opposite of Microsoft Office?”/“Megahard Onfire.”
Microsoft Office is a family of client software, server software, and services. A riddle was posted on Twitter by Kharos on April 22, 2019: WHAT IS THE OPPOSITE OF MICROSOFT OFFICE?MEGAHARD ONFIRE…
“Failure is not the opposite of success. It is part of success”
"Failure is not the opposite of success. It is part of success" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. "In Western culture, failure is regarded as the…