“90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works!”
"Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen" (or "90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works!") is a jocular saying that has been printed on…
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“Every time I hear a chef on tv say that you can easily make this from items already in your pantry…”
Cooking shows on television often suggest simple meals with ingredients that everyone supposedly has in the pantry, but many people just have snacks in the pantry. This was posted on Facebook by…
“Why did the cow cross the road?”/“To go to the Feminists Convention.”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A (politically incorrect) cow version is: Q: Why did the cow cross…
“A good barometer for alcoholism is how many times a week you fall asleep in jeans”
Jeans might be good for wearing at most times throughout the day, but they're not meant for sleeping in. Jeans are hard, while most pajamas are soft. "I think a good indicator of where…
“I survived a Tuesday, and for what? Wednesday? Disgusting”
"I survived a Tuesday, and for what? Wednesday? Disgusting" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Both Tuesday and Wednesday are usually work days. "i survived a…
“I survived a Tuesday, and for what? Wednesday? When does it end?”
"I survived a Tuesday, and for what? Wednesday? Disgusting" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Both Tuesday and Wednesday are usually work days. "i survived a…
“I survived a Monday, and for what? Tuesday? Disgusting”
"I survived a Tuesday, and for what? Wednesday? Disgusting" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Both Tuesday and Wednesday are usually work days. "i survived a…
“I survived a Monday, and for what? Tuesday? When does it end?”
"I survived a Tuesday, and for what? Wednesday? Disgusting" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Both Tuesday and Wednesday are usually work days. "i survived a…
“I survived a Wednesday, and for what? Thursday? Disgusting”
"I survived a Tuesday, and for what? Wednesday? Disgusting" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Both Tuesday and Wednesday are usually work days. "i survived a…
“I survived a Wednesday, and for what? Thursday? When does it end?”
"I survived a Tuesday, and for what? Wednesday? Disgusting" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Both Tuesday and Wednesday are usually work days. "i survived a…
“None of the Seven Dwarfs could water their garden because of the high hose”
"Heigh-Ho" is a famous song in the Disney animate film Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937). "Heigh-hos" shouldn't be confused with "high hose," but there are…
“The seven dwarfs couldn’t reach the tap to water the garden because of their high hose”
"Heigh-Ho" is a famous song in the Disney animate film Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937). "Heigh-hos" shouldn't be confused with "high hose," but there are…
“The Earth is 70% uncarbonated water. Therefore the Earth is flat”
There is carbonated water and there is non-carbonated water, sometimes called "flat" water. This plays into a flat earth joke. "If the earth is 71% water and it's not…
Entry in progress—BP214
Entry in progress -- BP
“I can feel Monday staring at me from across the weekend”
Monday always looms and casts a pall over the weekend. Monday usually signals a return to the work week. "Monday is already sending me threatening glances from across the room" was posted…
“Monday is already sending me threatening glances from across the room”
Monday always looms and casts a pall over the weekend. Monday usually signals a return to the work week. "Monday is already sending me threatening glances from across the room" was posted…
“The helper in me acknowledges the hamburger in you”
Hamburger Helper is a boxed food product manufactured that is combined with browned ground beef. The "helper" part is sometimes satirized in mock inspirational sayings. "The helper…
“Adam & Eve really were tempted by an apple? And they failed? Imagine if it was a crab rangoon”
In the biblical story (Genesis 2:16-17) of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, God commanded them not to eat the forbidden fruit, but they disobeyed the command and ate it. The forbidden fruit was…
“Adam & Eve really were tempted by an apple? And they failed? Imagine if it was a jalapeño popper”
In the biblical story (Genesis 2:16-17) of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, God commanded them not to eat the forbidden fruit, but they disobeyed the command and ate it. The forbidden fruit was…
“Adam and Eve were tempted by an apple. Imagine if they had nachos back then”
In the biblical story (Genesis 2:16-17) of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, God commanded them not to eat the forbidden fruit, but they disobeyed the command and ate it. The forbidden fruit was…