“Why are we locking up the items, but not the thieves?”
"Maybe it’s time to stop locking up items in stores… and go back to locking up the thieves and Criminals!" was posted on X/Twitter by Grateful Turk on February 24, 2023. "Instead…
“Why bills never go on sale? Like rent 50% off or buy 1 light bill and get the gas bill free”
"Why bills never go on sale? Like rent 50% off or buy 1 light bill and get the gas bill free" and "How come bills never go on sale? Like rent 25% off or pay 2 electricity bills and…
“Why can’t you tell a good joke about retired people?”/“Because none of them work!”
"I know a lot of jokes about retired people, but none of them work" is a jokes that has been printed on several iamges. "I know a lot of jokes about retired people. But none of them…
“Why did a lost grizzly walk into a jewelry store?”/“Because he had to get his bear rings.”
To "lose one's bearings" is to become lost. It has nothing to do with a grizzly losing "bear rings," but there are jokes. "I was Yogi's best man, but then I lost…
“Why did the electrician fall in love with every girl he met?”/“Because he couldn’t resistor.”
Entry in progress -- BP Google Groups: alt.humor.punsHalloween Puns of the Weak 10/26/01Stan KegelOct 27, 2001, 12:27:02 AM(...)Why was there an electric spark between Frankenstein and his bride?He…
“Why did the headless horseman go into business?”/“He wanted to get a head in life.”
A popular riddle about the headless horseman is: Q: Why did the headless horseman go into business?A: He wanted to get ahead (a head) in life. The joke was posted to the newsgroup…
“Why did the hipster refuse to undergo surgery?”/“The anesthesia wasn’t local.”
People are often encouraged to eat locally sourced food and to shop local. A joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on March 8, 2017: Q: Why did the hipster refuse to undergo surgery?A: The anesthesia…
“Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?”/“He couldn’t see himself doing it.”
A riddle about the invisible man is: Q: Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?A: He couldn't see himself doing it. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2010. Wikipedia:…
“Why did the man attach a rocket to a deer?”/“He wanted to make a quick buck.”
A riddle about making fast money is: Q: Why did the man attach a rocket to a deer?A: He wanted to make a quick buck. "How do you make a quick buck? strap a deer to a rocket" was posted on…
“Why did the man put a clock under his desk?”/“He wanted to work overtime.”
Entry in progress -- B.P. TwitterLucky Score @LuckyScoreNetWhy did the man put a clock under his desk?He wanted to work overtime.#Joke from #TimeJokes in #Jokes, #Humor and #Satire2:36 PM - 12…
“Why did the mathematician work from home?”/“Because he could only function in his domain.”
A math riddle is: Q: Why did the mathematician work from home?A: Because he could only function in his domain. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2012. TwitterPeter…
“Why did the mechanic sleep under the car?”/“He wanted to wake up oily in the morning.”
Some people "wake up early in the morning." This shouldn't be confused with those who "wake up oily in the morning," but there are jokes. "You may or you may not think…
“Why did the non-binary prospector move to California?”/“There was gold in them/their hills”
“Thar’s gold in them thar hills” is a saying from the 1800s. A jocular riddle on the saying is: Q: Why did the non-binary prospector move to California?A: There was gold in them/their hills.…
“Why did the programmer quit his job?”/“Because he didn’t get arrays.”
A popular computer programming joke is: Q: Why did the programmer quit his job?A: Because he didn't get arrays (a raise). The joke was cited on Twitter on August 17, 2009. Microsoft tweeted…
“Why did the scarecrow get a promotion?”/“Because he was outstanding in his field.”
A popular scarecrow pun is: Q: Why did the scarecrow win a promotion?A: Because he was outstanding in his field. "Why did the scarecrow get a Nobel Prize? Because he was outstanding in his…
“Why didn’t the server want a job filling salt and pepper shakers?”/“Because it’s seasonal work!”
A food joke involves the terms "seasoning" (salt and pepper, in the joke) and "seasonal work." "Why didn't the server want a job filling salt and pepper shakers?...…
“Why do dinosaurs pay for Amazon Shipping?”/“Because they live in the Land before Prime.”
The Land Before Time (1988) is an animated adventure drama film about dinosaurs. How did the dinosaurs order products from Amazon.com in such a prehistoric age? A riddle was posted on Reddit --…
“Why do humans need jobs why can’t i just exist & make art and chill with my cat”
"why do humans need jobs why can’t i just exist & make art and chill with my cat" was posted on X/Twitter by juno on Januay 26, 2021. This account is no longer on X/Twitter.…
“Why do humans need jobs why can’t I just sit on a beach with my tits out and stare into the ocean until i die”
"why do humans need jobs why can’t i just exist & make art and chill with my cat" was posted on X/Twitter by juno on Januay 26, 2021. This account is no longer on X/Twitter.…
“Why do people argue with short people? Their heights won’t make them reach an agreement”
"Why do people argue with short people, when we all know their heights wont make them reach an agreement?" was posted on Twitter by Olamilekan on August 5, 2019. "Short people…