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July 12, 2018
Work/Businesses

“Who is the strongest thief?”/“A shoplifter.”

A "shoplifter" lifts (steals) things from shops, but doesn't actually lift the shops themselves. A riddle is: Q: Who is the strongest thief?A: A shoplifter. The joke has been cited…

December 13, 2021
Work/Businesses

“Who would name their company FedEx? That’s two things that I never want showing up at my door”

"FedEx" originally stood for "Federal Express," but a joke has it stand for something else. "Why the name @FedEx? That's two things I would not want showing up at my…

September 12, 2018
Work/Businesses

“Who’s the coolest guy in the hospital?”/“The ultra-sound guy.”

A hospital riddle is: Q: Who's the coolest guy in the hospital?A: The ultra-sound guy. "Q: Who's the coolest person in a hospital? A: The ultra sound guy" was posted on Twitter…

November 25, 2022
Work/Businesses

“Who’s the patron saint of shopping?”/“St. Francis de Sales.”

"Who's the patron saint of shopping? St. Francis de Sales" is a riddle that has been printed on several images St. Francis de Sales (1567-1622) was a Bishop of Geneva. "Is St.…

May 23, 2023
Work/Businesses

“Whoever came up with the phrase ‘The freaks come out at night’ has clearly never been to Walmart”

"Whoever came up with the phrase 'The freaks come out at night' has clearly never been to Walmart during the day" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…

August 4, 2025
Work/Businesses

“Whoever came up with the spelling for ‘receipt’ was an idiopt”

"Whoever came up with the spelling for 'receipt' was an idiopt" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The letter "p" is silent. "Whoever…

March 18, 2021
Work/Businesses

“Whoever invented crotch waxing must have made a Brazilian dollars!”

"Brazilian" (from Brazil) sounds like a large number (billion + gazillion). Several "Brazilian dollars" jokes involve Brazilian waxing, a bikini waxing style invented by the J.…

August 5, 2024
Time/WeatherWork/Businesses

“Whoever love Monday is either stealing at work or dating a workmate”

"Whoever love(s) Monday is either stealing at work or dating a workmate" is a Monday saying that has been prrrinted on many images. Monday is the traditional start of the work week.…

August 5, 2024
Time/WeatherWork/Businesses

“Whoever loves Monday is either stealing at work or dating a workmate”

"Whoever love(s) Monday is either stealing at work or dating a workmate" is a Monday saying that has been prrrinted on many images. Monday is the traditional start of the work week.…

December 5, 2024
Work/Businesses

“Whoever said ‘Staying at home saves you money’ has clearly never heard of Amazon”

Staying home used to save money, but now there is online shopping. "everyone always says staying at home saves you money but me? I’m going to online shop 🤦🏾‍♀️" was posted…

May 23, 2023
Work/Businesses

“Whoever said ‘The freaks come out at night’ has obviously never been to Walmart during the day”

"Whoever came up with the phrase 'The freaks come out at night' has clearly never been to Walmart during the day" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…

August 4, 2025
Work/Businesses

“Whoever spelled the word ‘receipt’ was a friggin idiopt”

"Whoever came up with the spelling for 'receipt' was an idiopt" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The letter "p" is silent. "Whoever…

October 19, 2022
Work/Businesses

“Why are ghosts bad at telling lies?”/“Because you can see right through them.”

You can see right through ghosts, and there are riddles about this. "Why don't ghosts tell lies? Because you can see right through them" was printed in the Ellesmere Port (UK)…

October 19, 2022
Work/Businesses

“Why are ghosts bad liars?”/“Because you can see right through them.”

You can see right through ghosts, and there are riddles about this. "Why don't ghosts tell lies? Because you can see right through them" was printed in the Ellesmere Port (UK)…

October 19, 2022
Work/Businesses

“Why are ghosts terrible liars?”/“Because you can see right through them.”

You can see right through ghosts, and there are riddles about this. "Why don't ghosts tell lies? Because you can see right through them" was printed in the Ellesmere Port (UK)…

March 16, 2022
Work/Businesses

“Why are so many leprechauns florists?”/“They have green thumbs.”

There are several St. Patrick's Day riddles about leprechauns having green thumbs. "Riddle of the Day: Why are so many leprechauns florists? #HeritageHealth Answer: They have green…

December 28, 2016
Work/Businesses

“Why are there no Walmarts in Iraq?”/“Because they’re all Targets.”

Walmart and Target are competitor retail stores. A joke was told around the time of the Gulf War, such as this one posted to the newsgroup rec.humor.funny on March 14, 1991: Q: Why are there no…

March 23, 2025
Work/Businesses

“Why are we keeping it a secret where I’m supposed to tap my debit card?”

"Tap to pay" sounds easy, but where to tap? This was posted on X/Twitter by Ben Rosen on August 7, 2023, and received over 63,000 likes: "why are we keeping it a secret where i’m…

April 28, 2024
Government/Law/Military/Religion /HealthWork/Businesses

“Why are we locking up the items, but not the thieves?”

"Maybe it’s time to stop locking up items in stores… and go back to locking up the thieves and Criminals!" was posted on X/Twitter by Grateful Turk on February 24, 2023. "Instead…

November 26, 2024
Buildings/Housing/ParksWork/Businesses

“Why bills never go on sale? Like rent 50% off or buy 1 light bill and get the gas bill free”

"Why bills never go on sale? Like rent 50% off or buy 1 light bill and get the gas bill free" and "How come bills never go on sale? Like rent 25% off or pay 2 electricity bills and…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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