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January 31, 2020
Work/Businesses

“Time to get up and get going. Today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves”

"Time to get up and get going. Today's bad decisions aren't going to make themselves" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Now if you'll excuse…

December 13, 2020
Work/Businesses

“Times are hard. A friend of mine had to get a second job as a butcher just to make meat ends”

To "make ends meet" is an expression meaning to have enough money to get by. A spoonerism pun was posted on Reddit -- 3amjokes on December 13, 2020: "Times are hard. A friend of mine…

January 7, 2022
Work/Businesses

“Titjobs imply the existence of titunemployment”

A "boob job" means work done on a breast (boob). It is not an actual job, but there are jokes. "If boobjobs were actually jobs, I'd file for boobunemployment& the gov't…

January 8, 2021
Work/Businesses

“To all the people panic buying, make sure you stock up on condoms so you don’t produce more idiots”

The 2020 COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in panic buying. "To all the people panic buying, make sure you stock up on condoms so you don't produce any more idiots" is a…

December 3, 2025
Work/Businesses

“To avoid burnout at work use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years”

There are several imagined "30-30" work rules, about what someone should do after 30 minutes of work. These "rules" are jokes on the "20-20-20 rule" for digital eye…

March 26, 2024
Work/Businesses

“To avoid straining your eyes at work, use the 30-30 rule. After 30 minutes of work, quit your job…”

There are several imagined "30-30" work rules, about what someone should do after 30 minutes of work. These "rules" are jokes on the "20-20-20 rule" for digital eye…

November 2, 2014
Work/Businesses

“To be a success in business, be daring, be first, be different”

"To be a success in business: Be daring, be first, be different" has been cited in print since at least 1970. "Marchant" was credited in 1981, "Henry Marchant" was…

September 13, 2012
Work/Businesses

“To be successful, you have to have your heart in your business, and your business in your heart”

"To be successful, you have to have your heart in your business, and your business in your heart" is a popular business quotation credited to Thomas J. Watson, Sr. (1874-1956), an IBM…

May 24, 2015
Work/Businesses

“To be yourself in a world trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment”

The American poet Edward Estlin (E. E.) Cummings (1894-1962) wrote in "A Poet's Advice" (1958): "To be nobody-but-yourself — in a world which is doing its best, night and day,…

August 12, 2012
Work/Businesses

“To do important work, two things are necessary: a plan and not quite enough time”

"To do a great and important work, two things are necessary — a definite plan, and not quite enough time" is a jocular statement about accomplishing goals. "Not quite enough…

June 3, 2019
Work/Businesses

“To do the impossible, you need to ignore the popular”

"To do the impossible, you need to ignore the popular" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. American entrepreneur and author Tim Ferriss said in his book, The…

September 8, 2012
Work/Businesses

“To err is human; to blame it on someone else shows management potential”

"To err is human; to forgive, divine" was written by Alexander Pope (1688-1744) in "An Essay on Criticism" (1711). The line is famous and has many parodies. "To err is…

September 15, 2012
Work/Businesses

“To err is human; to forgive is against company policy”

"To err is human; to forgive, divine" was written by Alexander Pope (1688-1744) in "An Essay on Criticism" (1711). The line is famous and has many parodies. "To err is…

September 20, 2017
Work/Businesses

“To err is human. To arr is pirate”

"To err is human; to forgive, divine" was written by Alexander Pope (1688-1744) in "An Essay on Criticism" (1711). The line is famous and has many parodies. A pirate joke that…

December 12, 2024
Buildings/Housing/ParksHolidays/Events/ParadesWork/Businesses

“To get rid of unwanted junk during the holidays… Put it in an Amazon box and leave it on the porch”

"Need to get rid of unwanted junk during the holidays? Put it in Amazon boxes and leave it on your front porch" is a jocular saying that has been printed on may images. That is, people…

December 12, 2011
Work/Businesses

“To my customer: I may not have the answer, but I’ll find it…”

One of the most popular of customer service quotations is this: "To my customer: I may not have the answer, but I'll find it. I may not have the time, but I'll make it. I may not be…

May 11, 2020
Work/Businesses

“To the person who stole my glasses, I will find you. I have contacts”

"Contact lenses" shouldn't be confused with "contacts," but there are jokes. "Someone stole my glasses. I will find you. I have my contacts" was posted on Twitter…

April 19, 2020
Work/Businesses

“To those turning in your neighbors and local businesses, you did the reich thing”

The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic saw governments use "snitches get rewards/riches programs. Some people countered with an image of Nazi leader Adolf Hitler and a reference to the Third…

June 10, 2015
Work/Businesses

“To thrive in life you need three bones: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone”

"To thrive in life you need three bones... A wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone " is a saying that has been printed on many posters and frequently credited to American country music…

June 14, 2018
Work/Businesses

“To try when there is little hope is to risk failure. Not to try at all is to guarantee it”

"If you try, you risk failure. If you don’t, you ensure it" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown. "To try when there is little hope…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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