“My dream job would be getting paid to sleep”
People are sometimes asked about their dream job. A funny response is: "My dream job is getting paid to sleep." "My dream job would be getting paid to sleep" was cited on…
“My family says I talk in my sleep, but nobody at work has ever mentioned it”
"My family/husband/wife says I talk in my sleep, but nobody at work has ever mentioned it" -- that is, the speaker sleeps at work -- is a jocular work saying that has been printed on many…
“My family’s in the iron and steel business” (joke)
"My family's in the iron and steel business," goes an old joke. "My mother irons and my father steals." The joke appeared in a college humor magazine in 1930 (the Google…
“My father owned a coal company, but mostly kept it to himself. Mined his own business”
"Mind your business" shouldn't be confused with "mined your business," but there are jokes. "I sell coal for a living because I took everyone's advice and mined…
“My father used to say, ‘You don’t always get what you pay for’” (joke)
"You don't always get what you pay for" is an old saying. A joke version was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on May 28, 2021: "My father used to say, 'You don't always…
“My father worked ten hours a day to put food on the table. Great dad, very slow cook”
"My father worked ten hours a day to put food on the table. Great dad, very slow cook" is a joke that was posted on X/Twitter by Mark Simmons on February 13, 2020. The joke is that…
“My favorite co-worker is the coffee machine”
"My favorite co-worker is the coffee machine" is a work saying that has been printed in many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on September 6, 2014. “Coffee is my favorite…
“My favorite emails are the ones that let you know that your order has shipped”
Many people dislike receiving many emails, but "Your order has been shipped" is an email that's usually a favorite. "My favorite emails always begin with, your order has…
“My favorite emails are the ones that tell me my order has been shipped”
Many people dislike receiving many emails, but "Your order has been shipped" is an email that's usually a favorite. "My favorite emails always begin with, your order has…
“My favorite emails to receive are ‘order shipped’ emails”
Many people dislike receiving many emails, but "Your order has been shipped" is an email that's usually a favorite. "My favorite emails always begin with, your order has…
“My favorite outdoor activity is getting my packages at the door and bringing them in”
Many people are not outdoor types. A comment was posted on Twitter by Laurent Perrier on April 1, 2021: "My favorite outdoors activity is getting my packages at the door and bringing them…
“My favorite outdoors activity is getting my packages at the door and bringing them in”
Many people are not outdoor types. A comment was posted on Twitter by Laurent Perrier on April 1, 2021: "My favorite outdoors activity is getting my packages at the door and bringing them…
“My favorite part about having a job is assuming you’re fired every time your boss calls…”
A call from the boss can put fear into an employee. "My favorite part about having a job is assuming you’re fired every time your boss calls you into their office" was posted on Twitter…
“My favorite position is CEO” (“A woman’s favorite position is CEO”)
"My favorite position is CEO" (or "A woman favorite position is CEO") is a jocular line that has been printed on many gift items, such as bumper stickers, T-shirts and coffee…
“My favorite way to online shop is just to yell out what I’m looking for and wait for an ad”
"My favorite way to online shop is just yelling out exactly what I’m looking for until an ad for it pops up on my feed" was posted on Twitter by Janet Forklift on October 4, 2020. The…
“My first job was posing like a mannequin in the window of a clothing store. I held that position for a long time”
An employee might say that he or she "held a position for a long time." This doesn't mean a physical position, but there are jokes. "My first job was posing like a mannequin in…
“My formula for success is rise early, work late and strike oil”
"My formula for success is rise early, work late and strike oil" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Origin is uncertain. "How to get rich farming -- rise early, work…
“My friend is a professional sleep walker. He is living the dream”
A person who has a dream job is "living the dream." But suppose that person is a professional sleepwalker or a professional sleeper? "Sleepwalker livin the dream, sleepwalker sing…
“My friend is a professional sleeper. He is living the dream”
A person who has a dream job is "living the dream." But suppose that person is a professional sleepwalker or a professional sleeper? "Sleepwalker livin the dream, sleepwalker sing…
“My friend is making easy money by selling pictures of salmon dressed in human clothes…” (joke)
The idiom "like shooting fish in a barrel" (meaning something that is extremely easy) shouldn't be confused with "shooting fish in apparel," but there are jokes. "My…