“Move in silence until it’s time to say checkmate”
"Move in silence, only speak when it's time to say checkmate" (or "Move in silence until it's time to say checkmate") is a saying that has been printed on many images.…
“Move in silence, only speak when it’s time to say checkmate”
"Move in silence, only speak when it's time to say checkmate" (or "Move in silence until it's time to say checkmate") is a saying that has been printed on many images.…
“My accountant went to see a psychiatrist because he kept hearing strange invoices”
Crazy people hear strange voices. Do crazy accountants and billing clerks hear strange invoices? "Horace McGonigle has heard about the billing clerk who went to a psychiatrist because…
“My biggest contribution to workplace safety is having a cup of coffee in the morning”
"My biggest contribution to workplace safety is having a cup of coffee in the morning" is a saying that has been printed on many images. That is, without coffee, the speaker is not a…
“My bills ain’t even bills no more. They grown. I call them Williams”
"My bills ain't even bills no more. They grown, I call them Williams" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. “You know a restaurant is fancy when instead of…
“My boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I said he doesn’t hire stupid people”
"When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him, I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Boss…
“My boss calls me ‘The Computer.’ I go to sleep if left unattended for 15 minutes”
"My friends call me 'The Computer'. Nothing to do with intelligence, I go to sleep if left unattended for 15 minutes" was posted on Twitter by Ben on May 20, 2015.…
“My boss fired me for making too many Asian jokes. I feel like this is the end of my Korea”
"My boss fired me for making too many Asian jokes. It was the end of my Korea" was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on February 19, 2019. "I'm still China find a new job" was…
“My boss just appointed me as his sexual consultant” (joke)
"My boss just appointed me as his sexual consultant," an old joke goes. "His exact words were, 'When I want your fucking advice, I’ll ask for it.'" The joke was…
“My boss said he’ll fire the employee with the worst posture. I’ve got a hunch it might be me”
An employment joke was posted on Twitter by sickipediabot on September 14, 2010: "My boss said he's going to fire the employee with the worst posture. I've got a hunch it might be…
“My boss said I intimidate my coworkers, so I stared at him until he apologized”
"My boss said I intimidate (my) coworkers. (So) I stared at him until he apologized" is a jocular work saying that has been printed on many images. The speaker is even intimidating the…
“My boss says I intimidate the other employees, so I just stared at him until he apologized”
"My boss said I intimidate (my) coworkers. (So) I stared at him until he apologized" is a jocular work saying that has been printed on many images. The speaker is even intimidating the…
“My boss told me time is money. I don’t buy that for a second”
"Time is money" is a proverb that was popularized by Benjamin Franklin (1705-1790). A joke was posted by Steven W Skinner on Twitter on January 18, 2016: "People say time is money-…
“My boss told me to have a great day. So I went home”
"My boss told me to have a good/great/nice day. So I went home" is a jocular line that has been printed on many images. "This morning my boss told me to have a good day... so I went…
“My boss touched me inappropriately at work today. But it’s okay, I’m self-employed”
A sexual harassment at work joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on November 14, 2017: "My boss touched me inappropriately at work today. But it's okay, i'm self-employed." Reddit…
“My boss yelled, ‘You’ve been late 3 times this week, Do you know what that means?’”(Wednesday joke)
"My boss yelled, 'You've been late 3 times this week, Do you know what that means?' Apparently, 'It's Wednesday' wasn't the correct answer" is a jocular…
“My boss yelled, ‘You’ve been late 5 times this week, Do you know what that means?’” (Friday joke)
"My boss yelled, 'You've been late 5 times this week, Do you know what that means?' Apparently, 'It's Friday' wasn't the correct answer" is a jocular…
“My brain has too many tabs open”
"My brain has too many tabs open" -- that is, a person (like a computer) is too busy with too much work -- is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "I feel…
“My buddy lost his job to AI. It was his job to chug thousands of gallons of water at a data center”
It's often said that AI is coming for people's jobs, but AI requires a lot of water. A joke about this was posted on X/Twitter by Benny Feldman 🪸🫧🐠 on October 12, 2025, and this…
“My candle store got robbed. They took every scent I had”
"Scent" shouldn't be confused with "cent," but there are jokes. "My candle store got robbed. They took every scent I had" was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on…