“Anyone who goes to see a psychiatrist should have his head examined”
Polish-American movie producer Samuel Goldwyn (1879-1974) was known for his malapropisms, or "Goldwynisms." Syndicated Hollywood columnist reported in June 1948: "Stop me if…
“Anyone who plays heavy metal at work is office rocker”
"Off his rocker" (meaning a crazy person) sounds like "office rocker." "My boss traded in his desk chair for a recliner & became addicted to playing 'Guitar…
“Anyone who says money can’t buy happiness doesn’t know where to shop”
"Money can't buy happiness" is a proverb that has been cited in English since at least 1821. "Anyone who says money can't buy happiness doesn't know where to…
“Anything recommended by a stoned person comes highly recommended”
"Anything recommended by a stoned person comes highly recommended" was posted on Reddit -- Showerthoughts on April 20, 2018. That is, the stoned person was "high" when he/she…
“Anything recommended by a stoned person is highly recommended”
"Anything recommended by a stoned person comes highly recommended" was posted on Reddit -- Showerthoughts on April 20, 2018. That is, the stoned person was "high" when he/she…
“Apparently ‘cheesecake & tacos’ wasn’t the answer when he asked me about my weaknesses”
Employment interviewers often ask a job applicant what his or her weaknesses are. A jocular line is: "Apparently 'cheesecake & tacos' wasn't the answer the interviewer was…
“Apparently ‘spite’ is not an appropriate answer to ‘What motivates you?’”
"What motivates you?" is a popular job interview question. "Apparently 'spite' is not an appropriate answer to 'What motivates you?'" is a jocular saying…
“Apparently ‘the vibes are off’ isn’t a good excuse to leave work early”
"Apparently 'the vibes are off' isn’t a good excuse to leave work early" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I just have to leave work early today the…
“Archaeologist: someone whose career lies in ruins”
A popular archaeology pun is: "Daffynishion: Archaeologist — Someone whose career lies in ruins." The joke has been cited in print since at least 1963. Google BooksSeptember 1963,…
“Architecture is a great profession, but a horrible business”
"Architecture is a great profession and a horrible business" was said in a 2009 transcript titled "The truth about being an architect," but it's not known where the saying…
“Are locksmiths key workers?”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in classifications of some people as "essential workers" (in the US) or "key workers" (in the UK). "LOCKSMITHS. Take advantage…
“Are people born with a photographic memories or does it take time to develop?”
"Are people born with photographic memories or does it take time to develop?" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by Funnyshit on July 14, 2010. "Are people born with a photographic…
“Area 51 is where they keep all of the Walmart cashiers”
Walmart (an American multinational retail corporation) has been compared to Area 51 (a highly classified United States Air Force facility, often associated with UFOs). "I think area 51 is…
“Arrive early, be the last to leave and kick ass all fucking day”
Entry in progress -- B.P. "Arrive early, be the last to leave and kick ass all fucking day!" is a saying on a page of phrase art on Tumblr. TwitterMP® | MSTRPLN.COM@mstrpln Arrive…
“Arrogance is ignorance matured”
"Arrogance is ignorance matured" means that from ignorance (a person who doesn't know things) one can develop or mature into arrogance (a person who is overconfident of his or her…
“As a child: ‘You’re grounded.’ As an adult: ‘Your package will be delivered between 8 am and 6 pm’”
Waiting for a package is like being in prison, or like being grounded as a child, A joke was posted on the website Sickipedia on December 19, 2017: As a child: 'You are grounded. 'As an…
“As a kid, did you ever knock on people’s doors and run away before they could answer?” (joke)
Delivery vehicles (such as UPS) often have their employees knock on a door, and then walk away before the person can answer. "As a kid, did you ever knock on people's doors and run away…
“As a kid, did you ever knock on people’s doors and run away before they answered?” (UPS joke)
Delivery drivers (such as UPS, FedEx and Amazon) often ring the doorbell -- and then run away. A popular meme jokes about this. "As a kid, did you ever knock on people’s doors and run away…
“As an introverted entrepreneur in the coal industry, I mined my own business”
"Mind your business" shouldn't be confused with "mined your business," but there are jokes. "I sell coal for a living because I took everyone's advice and mined…
“As goes Walmart, so goes America”
Walmart was founded in Arkansas by Sam Walton in 1962 and grew to become the world's largest chain of discount retail department stores. Many business writers believe that the American economy…