“As you get older, ‘paid off’ sounds so much better than ‘brand new’”
"As I/you get older, 'paid off' sounds so much better than 'brand new'" (or "As I/you get older, 'paid off' sounds a lot better than 'brand…
“ASAP—Always Stop And Pray”
"ASAP" usually stands for "As Soon As Possible." "ASAP -- Always Stop And Pray" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been used in many…
“Aspire to inspire before you expire”
"Aspire to inspire before you expire" is a saying that has been printed on many gift items, such as posters, bumper stickers and T-shirts. Tullah Hanley, a former belly dancer who became…
“At my new job, I have hundreds of people under me. I mow the grass at the cemetery”
A person with many people under him/her usually has a responsible job. "At my new job, I have hundreds of people under me," an old joke goes. "I mow the grass at the cemetery."…
“At my next job, I’m gonna to lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want…”
"At my next job, im gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children" was posted on Twitter by street governor (@brownliquorbaby) on…
“At some point you will find someone who is obsessed with you and wants all your time…”
"At some point you will find someone who is obsessed with you and wants all your time.. That person is your manager at work" is a joke that has been printed on many images. The saying was…
“At the store there was a big X by the register for me to stand on…” (joke)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in social distancing. Many stores placed "X" markers on the ground for people to stand on, but it reminded many people of the Wile E. Coyote…
“At this point, we’re just working for gas money to go to work”
High gas prices made many people feel that it didn't seem to pay to gas up the car to go to work -- to pay for gas. "We working for gas money to get back to work at this point" was…
“At work, a coffee machine always gets fixed faster than a printer”
Many people can't work without coffee. "It's funny how a coffee machine problem generally gets fixed faster then an infrastructure problem" was posted on Twitter on May 16,…
“At work, when you don’t know what to do, just walk fast and look worried”
"When you don’t know what to do, just walk fast and look worried" is a work saying that has been printed on several images, including a Dilbert comic strip. Paul Dickson wrote in The…
“Attract what you expect. Reflect what you desire. Become what you respect. Mirror what you admire”
"Attract what you expect. Reflect what you desire. Become what you respect. Mirror what you admire" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. "You attract what…
“Auctions are the one place you can get something for nodding”
"Auction -- where you get something for nodding" -- a pun on "nothing" -- was published in a newspaper in January 1956. "Daffynishion: Auction — Where you get something…
“Audio engineers give sound advice”
"Do audio engineers give sound advice?" is a one-line saying that was posted on Twitter by Tim Powell on June 12, 2010. "Audio engineers give sound advice" was posted on Twitter…
“Awe shit man. I thought ASAP meant As Stoned As Possible”
"ASAP" usually means "As Soon As Possible." Some people joke that that they will arrive ASAP -- "As Stoned As Possible." "ASAP As Stoned As Possible" was…
“Back in my day, the only time we started panic buying was when the bartender yelled ‘last call’”
The 2019-20 coronavirus outbreak had caused panic purchasing. "In my day, the only time we started panic buying was when the barman shouted 'Last Call'" was posted on Facebook…
“Back to the drawing board” (starting over after failure)
A drawing board is where plans are drawn up, such as the design for a new building, airplane or automobile. If that design fails, the designers have to go "back to the drawing board" to…
“Back to the salt mines”
"Back to the salt mines" means back to unexciting work, or "back to the daily grind." It's a comment often made after a weekend away from work. "If he starts anything…
“Bad handwriting is actually a security feature”
Many people have bad handwriting, and only they can read it. "My bad handwriting is a security feature, not a bug" was posted on Twitter by J.G.Montoya.Hodl on July 14, 2019. "Having…
“Barbers are just hair gardeners”
Barbers have been compared to gardeners. "Barbers are just like gardeners, but for hair" was posted on Twitter by Estabillo on December 13, 2013. "Barbers are gardeners for things…
“Based on my calculations, I can retire about 5 years after I die”
"Based on my calculations, I can retire about 5 years after I die" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is uncertain. "I was doing some figuring last…