A train joke was posted on Reddit -- Dad Jokes on June 22, 2017: Q: Do you take the train to work?A: No way, the train takes me. “What happened to the monster that took the five o’clock train…
"Absence makes the heart grow fonder" is an old proverb. A shortened version of a parody is: Patient: Doctor, why do I toot like a motorcycle?Doctor: Because abscess makes the fart go…
"What's come over you?" is an expression not to be taken literally, but there are jokes. This was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on March 23, 1994: Patient: Doctor doctor, I feel…
Spam calls and internet messages about car warranties are the subject of many jokes. "Anyone know where I can get an extended warranty on my car?" was posted on Twitter by gregprice on…
Spam calls and internet messages about car warranties are the subject of many jokes. "Anyone know where I can get an extended warranty on my car?" was posted on Twitter by gregprice on…
The Michelin Man is a mascot of Michelin Tires who is a humanoid figure consisting of stacked white tires. "Does the Michelin Man get dressed in evening a tire?" was posted on Twitter by…
"Does this truck make my neck look red?" -- that is, a "redneck" -- is a jocular saying that has been printed on many bumper stickers. "Does my truck make my neck look red?…
A dog has often been called "man's best friend." However, a dog cannot do many things that a best friend usually does, and there are jokes. "Yeah but will it pick you up at the…
"No one washes a rental car" is a saying that has been popular since at least 1985. "Don't be gentle, it's a rental" is a rhyme that appears to have been cited in…
"Don't drink and drive. Your cat/dog/pet/animals won't understand why you never came home" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying attempts to bring the…
"Don't drink and drive. Your cat/dog/pet/animals won't understand why you never came home" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying attempts to bring the…
"Don't drink and drive. Your cat/dog/pet/animals won't understand why you never came home" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying attempts to bring the…
"Don't drink and drive. Your cat/dog/pet/animals won't understand why you never came home" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying attempts to bring the…
"Don't drink and park. Accidents cause people" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Don't drink and park, accidents cause people" was posted on…
These two signs both date from 1982. As many of you know, I am a parking judge. I have never seen a summons for "thinking" or "kidding," however. 15 June 1982, New York Times,…
"Don't follow me. I'm lost, too!" is a popular bumpber sticker. "Don't Follow Me. I'm Lost Too!" was scribbled on the back of a jeep in 1944. The saying…
"Please don't honk at me. I'll cry" (also "If you honk at me, I will cry" and "Please don't honk at me. I'm probably already crying") is a bumper…
"Please don't honk at me. I'll cry" (also "If you honk at me, I will cry" and "Please don't honk at me. I'm probably already crying") is a bumper…
"Don't honk at me. I'm havin' a crisis" is a jocular bumper sticker that has been printed on many images. "I didn’t get my laundry done or put up my dishes tonight,…
"The Lord moves in mysterious ways, but you don’t have to. Please use your blinker" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Mysterious Ways" is a song by the Irish…