“If every day is a gift, then today was socks”
"If every day is a gift, then today was socks" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Socks" sounds like "sucks" and represents something…
“If heat rises, why is the North Pole so cold?”
"If heat rises to the top why is the north pole the coldest place on earth?" was posted on Twitter by Tiffany Janay. "If heat rises, why is the North Pole so cold?" was posted…
“If I had a DeLorean, I’d probably only drive it from time to time”
The DeLorean motor vehicle was used as a time machine in the three 1980s
“If I had a dollar for every time someone said not to look directly at the eclipse…”
People are often told not to look directly at a solar eclipse. After the August 21, 2017 solar eclipse, a jocular line was posted on Reddit -- Jokes: "If I had a dollar for every time someone…
“If I read one more corny Ides of March joke, I’m going to stab my best friend”
March 15th (the middle of the month) is called the Ides of March. Roman general and statesman Julius Caesar was assassinated on March 15, 44 B.C. "If I read one more corny ides of March joke,…
“If it gets any hotter, I’ll have to take off stuff I really ought to keep on”
"If it gets any hotter, I'll have to take off stuff I really ought to keep on" was printed in the yahoo! news article "Things Southerners Say When It's Hot" by Valerie…
“If it weren’t for Spring Forward and Fall Back, I’d never get any exercise at all”
"Spring Forward, Fall Back" is how people set clocks, but there is a joke: "If it weren't for Spring Forward and Fall Back, I'd never get any exercise at all."…
“If kisses were snowflakes, I’d send you a blizzard”
"If kisses were snowflakes, I'd send you a blizzard" is a romantic winter saying that has been printed on many images. "If kisses were snowflakes, I'd send you an…
“If Monday were shoes, they’d be Crocs”
"If Monday(s) were shoes, they'd be Crocs" is a Monday saying that has been printed on many images. Crocs is a brand of American footwear that is often ridiculed. "'If days…
“If Mondays were shoes, they’d be Crocs”
"If Monday(s) were shoes, they'd be Crocs" is a Monday saying that has been printed on many images. Crocs is a brand of American footwear that is often ridiculed. "'If days…
“If money really did grow on trees, everyone’s favorite season would be fall”
"Money doesn't grow on trees" is an old American proverb. American humorist Robert Orben wrote a variation in his book 2400 Jokes to Brighten Your Speeches (1984): "Lazy? If…
“If roosters can start the day by screaming then damn it, so can I”
"If roosters can start the/their day by screaming, then (damn it) so can I" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "If a rooster can start the day screaming then so can…
“If roosters can start their day by screaming, then so can I”
"If roosters can start the/their day by screaming, then (damn it) so can I" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "If a rooster can start the day screaming then so can…
“If snow is made of water and water has no calories, how come snowmen are fat?”
"If snow is made of water and water has no calories, how come snowmen are fat?" is a jocular winter question. The one-liner was posted on Twitter by FunnyOneLiners on December 13,…
“If the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off”
"If the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall…
“If the world didn’t suck, we’d all fly into space”
"If the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall…
“If this weather gets any more bipolar I’m going to try to date it”
"If this weather gets any more bipolar I’m going to try to date it" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "If this weather gets any more bipolar I’m going to…
“If time heals all wounds, what happens when you get hit in the head with a clock?”
Entry in progress -- B.P. TwitterNate Thomas@natezthomasIf time heals all wounds, what happens if you get smashed in the head with a clock?1:44 PM - 30 Jan 2013 TwitterManuel…
“If you can ‘smell the rain,’ you country as hell”
Can country folk smell the rain coming? "You know your from the country if you can smell the rain coming" was posted on Twitter by I aint worreid about Joesphine on May 13, 2011.…
“If you can ‘smell’ rain, you country AF”
Can country folk smell the rain coming? "You know your from the country if you can smell the rain coming" was posted on Twitter by I aint worreid about Joesphine on May 13, 2011.…