“Did you hear about the guy who evaporated? He’ll be mist!”
"Mist" sounds like "missed," and there are puns. "Did you hear about the guy who evaporated? He’ll be mist!" was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on June 11, 2022.…
“Did you hear about the man who evaporated? He will be mist”
"Mist" sounds like "missed," and there are puns. "Did you hear about the guy who evaporated? He’ll be mist!" was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on June 11, 2022.…
“Didn’t mean to be rude, it’s just the heat and my personality”
"Didn't mean to be rude, it's just the heat and my personality" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown. "I didnt mean to be rude, it's…
“Dismay: to insult the fifth month”
The word "dismay" has nothing to do with the month of May, but there are jokes. "Dismay: To insult the 5th month" was posted on the newsgroup alt.humor.puns on March 23, 2005.…
“Do buses and trains run on time?”/“Buses run on wheels and trains run on the tracks.”
A riddle about buses and trains running "on time" is: Q: Do buses and trains run on time?A: Buses run on wheels and trains run on the tracks. The joke was posted on Twitter on September…
“Do you guys remember when I told you about my spine issue? It was about a week back”
"Week" sounds like "weak." A double pun is sometimes made, with "a week back" (time) for "a weak back" (a bad spine). The "weak back"/"week…
“Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day?”/“Yes. February 14th.”
A popular Valentine's Day joke is: MAN: Do you have a date for Valentine's Day?WOMAN: Yes. February 14th. The joke was posted on Twitter on September 4, 2012 and has been printed on…
“Do you know what always catches my eye? Short people with umbrellas”
"Umbrellas are a win for short people in the battle against the tall people. "argh my eye!" #fb" was posted on Twitter by Tom Gordon on August 4, 2009. "You know what…
“Doctor: This may hurt. Me: June doesn’t look much better”
"doctor: this may hurt / me: tbh june was worse imo" is a joke that was posted on X/Twitter by the notorious ana on July 4, 2022. "doctor: this may hurt/ me: june doesn't look…
“Does anyone know how many snowmen you’re allowed in your garden under current restrictions?”
The 2020 COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic placed restrictions of the amount of people who are allowed to meet together. Some people wondered if the rules also applied to snowmen. "How many…
“Does anyone want to buy a broken barometer? No pressure”
Some sales have high pressure, but the sale of a broken barometer? "If anyone is interested, I have a broken Barometer for sale. No pressure" was posted on Twitter by Chris Gurton on…
“Does shivering count as exercise?”
"Does shivering count as exercise?" is a jocular winter saying that has been printed on many images. "Does shivering count as exercise?" was John Wagner’s Maxine comic…
“Dog Fact #42: Dogs do not believe in Daylight Savings Time”
"Dogs do not believe in Daylight Savings Time" (or "Cats don't believe in Daylight Savings Time") is a saying that has been printed on many images. Pets want to be fed at…
“Dogs do not believe in Daylight Savings Time”
"Dogs do not believe in Daylight Savings Time" (or "Cats don't believe in Daylight Savings Time") is a saying that has been printed on many images. Pets want to be fed at…
“Don’t be dismayed, be disjuned”
The word "dismay" has nothing to do with the month of May, but there are jokes. "Good morning, everyone. It's June 1. We are disMAYed" was posted on Twitter by El Gecko on…
“Don’t count the days, make the days count”
"Don't count the days, make the days count" is a saying that has been printed on many posters, with credit often given to American boxer Muhammad Ali. If Ali ever said it, he…
“Don’t eat the yellow snow”
Snow is white; "yellow snow" is snow that is urinated on. "Don't Eat the Yellow Snow" was popularized as a song title on Frank Zappa's album, Apostrophe ( ' )…
“Don’t forget to set your clock on fire this Sunday. Time isn’t real”
"Don't forget to set your clock on fire this Sunday. Time isn't real" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Many people have to set their clocks forward an hour and…
“Don’t forget to set your clock on fire tonight. Time isn’t real”
"Don't forget to set your clock on fire this Sunday. Time isn't real" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Many people have to set their clocks forward an hour and…
“Don’t kiss anyone on New Year’s Day because it’s only the first date”
Should you kiss on New Year's Day? "I don't kiss on new years because you're not supposed to kiss on the first date" was posted on Twitter on July 10, 2013. "You…