“Confucius say: Man who drop watch in toilet bound to have shitty time”
There is a popular "Confucius say" toilet joke. "Man who drop watch in toilet bound to have shitty time" was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on February 6, 1992.…
“Congratulations to those of you whose microwave clock is right again”
"Congratulations to those of you whose microwave clock is right again" is a jocular saying. That is, the speaker congratulates those people who never changed the microwave clock an hour…
“Count your rainbows, not your thunderstorms”
"Count your rainbows, not your thunderstorms" -- in other words, "count your blessings" -- is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been cited in print…
“Crank up that A.C. till it’s blowing snowballs” (very hot)
"Crank up that A.C. (air conditioning) till it's blowing snowballs" means that it's very hot and the air conditioning must do extra work. "Did they crank up the AC?! Its…
“Cut-off low, weatherman’s woe”
"Cut-off low, weatherman's woe" was a catchphrase of Dr. George Fishbeck, a television weatherman at KABC-TV in Los Angeles, California from 1972 to 1990. A cut-off low is a low…
“Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?”/“No sun.”
There are many jokes with "son" and "sun." This was posted on Twitter by Landen Crouch on August 21, 2017: Boy: Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?Dad: No sun. The…
“Daylight didn’t ask to be saved. Daylight didn’t want to be saved”
There is daylight saving time (DST), but no one asked daylight its feelings in the matter. "What if the daylight didn't want to be saved?" was posted on Twitter by Jackie M. Briski…
“Days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today & nextday”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic made days flow together for many people. "Hours now don’t exist, days are split into 4 sections: Coffee, Midfood, Latefood & Sleep. Days don’t have…
“Dear Monday, I want to break up. I’m seeing Tuesday and dreaming about Friday”
A popular mock break-up letter to Monday has been printed on many images: "Dear Monday, I want to break up. I’m seeing Tuesday and dreaming about Friday. Sincerely, it’s not me, it’s…
“Dear morning people, honest question… What the hell is wrong with you?”
"Dear morning people, honest question... What the hell is wrong with you?" is a saying that has been printed on several images. Many people cannot function well in the morning. Authorship…
“Dear Mother Nature: Having received my free sample of winter I would like to cancel…”
Many people have had enough of winter, even at the start. This was posted on Facebook on November 12, 2019: "Dear Mother Nature, Having received my free sample of winter I would like to cancel…
“Dear New Year’s Resolution, Well, it was fun while it lasted. Sincerely, January 2nd”
"Dear New Year’s Resolution(s), Well, it was fun while it lasted. Sincerely, January 2nd" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The joke originated on the website…
“Dear New Year’s Resolutions, Well, it was fun while it lasted. Sincerely, January 2nd”
"Dear New Year’s Resolution(s), Well, it was fun while it lasted. Sincerely, January 2nd" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The joke originated on the website…
“Dear Summer, stop showing off. We get it. You’re hot”
"Dear Summer/Weather, stop showing off. We get it. You're hot" is a summer weather saying that has been printed on many images. "Alright, summer. We get it. You're hot.…
“Dear sun, we know u a real one. You don’t have to keep it 100 anymore”
The saying "keep it 100" means to be 100% honest and trustworthy. It does not mean to "keep it 100 degrees outside," but there are jokes. "Dear Sun, we know you a real ass…
“Dear Sun, we know you a real ass nigga, you aint gotta keep it 100 no mo…”
The saying "keep it 100" means to be 100% honest and trustworthy. It does not mean to "keep it 100 degrees outside," but there are jokes. "Dear Sun, we know you a real ass…
“Dear sun… We know you’re a real one… You don’t have to keep it 100 anymore!”
The saying "keep it 100" means to be 100% honest and trustworthy. It does not mean to "keep it 100 degrees outside," but there are jokes. "Dear Sun, we know you a real ass…
“Dear Weather, stop showing off. We get it. You’re hot”
"Dear Summer/Weather, stop showing off. We get it. You're hot" is a summer weather saying that has been printed on many images. "Alright, summer. We get it. You're hot.…
“Dear Weatherman, When I said I’d like to see 105 again, I meant my weight”
"Dear Weatherman, When I said I wanted to see 105 again/someday, I meant my weight" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images "Dear Weatherman: When I said I'd…
“Deep summer is when laziness finds respectability”
"Deep summer is when laziness finds respectability" is a summer saying that has been printed on many images. "Deep summer is when laziness finds respectability. BERN WILLIAMS"…