“Need no teef to eat my beef” (House Park Bar-B-Que, Austin)
"Need no teef to eat my beef" is the non-trademarked slogan at the House Park Bar-B-Que in Austin, at West 12th Street near Lamar Boulevard. House Park has been around since 1943;…
“Neighbor, how long has it been since you’ve had a big, thick, steaming bowl of Wolf Brand Chili?”
"Neighbor, how long has it been since you've had a big, thick, steaming bowl of Wolf Brand Chili?" [Dramatic pause] "Well, that's too long!" Wolf brand chili was…
“Nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs”
"Nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs" means to be very nervous -- the cat must not get the tail caught under a rocking chair. The syndicated newspaper column…
“Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction”
"Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction" is often said to be an old cowboy saying, but its author is unknown. The cowboy proverb is cited…
“Never ask a man if he’s from Texas…”
"Never ask a man if he's from Texas. If he is, he'll tell you. If he isn't, don't embarrass him." It's not known who first said this, but it dates to at least the…
“Never bring a knife to a gunfight”
"Never bring a knife to a gunfight" (or "Don't take a knife to a gunfight") seems like a quotation from the old west. The film The Untouchables (1987) contained the line:…
“Never drink unless you’re alone or with somebody”
"Never drink unless you're alone or with somebody" appears as an "anonymous cowboy quote" in the book Cowboy Cocktails (2000), by Grady Spears and Brigit Binns. The…
“Never kick a cow chip on a hot day”
"Never kick a cow chip on a hot day" appears on the internet on several Texas and cowboy joke websites. Some attribute the quote to Will Rogers, but there no evidence of this. It's…
“Never let the facts get in the way of a good story”
Texans are known for their bragging. Common sayings are "It ain't braggin'" (if you can do it, or if it's true) and "no brag, just fact." "Never let the…
“Never make a speech at a country dance or a football game”
Lyndon B. Johnson's father advised him to "never make a speech at a country dance or a football game." It's good Texas advice; you don't interrupt football games! 15 July…
“Never order salad at a barbecue joint”
Good barbecue comes with sides (such as potato salad), but a rule of thumb often given is to "never order a salad at a barbecue joint." Most barbecue places don't serve salads,…
“Never order sweet tea in a state that does not have an SEC team”
Southern humorist Lewis Grizzard (1946-1994) is credited with this as-yet-unsourced saying: "Never order sweet tea in a state that doesn't have an SEC team." The expression is…
“Never say ‘die,’ say ‘damn’” (“Pa” Ferguson?)
"Never say 'die,' say 'damn'" was supposedly the motto of James Edward "Pa" Ferguson (1871-1944), the only Texas governor ever to be impeached. However, the…
“Never wrestle with a pig—you get dirty and the pig likes it”
"Never wrestle with a pig -- you get dirty and the pig likes it" has been said to be Abraham Lincoln-esque, but there is no record that Lincoln said anything like it. The saying has been…
“Nipples to the wind”
"Nipples to the Wind" is the title of a play of Texas monologues by Paula Coco. Coco describes the phrase to mean "head up, chin out," and says that "nipples to the…
“No Brag, Just Fact”
"No brag, just fact" is sometimes said to be an old Texas saying, but it originated on the short-lived television western The Guns of Will Sonnett (1967). Will Sonnett (played by Walter…
“No Democrat has been elected president without carrying Texas”
"No Democrat has been elected president without carrying Texas" held true from 1845 until 1992 (when Bill Clinton was elected president), 1996 (when Bill Clinton was re-elected president)…
“No dogs or Mexicans allowed” (“No Mexicans or dogs allowed”)
Signs reading "No dogs or Mexicans allowed" (or "No Mexicans or dogs allowed") were placed in some restaurants in Texas and the Southwest in the 1950s and 1960s. The civil…
“No man in the wrong can stand up against a fellow that’s in the right and keeps on a-comin’”
"No man in the wrong can stand up against a fellow that's in the right and keeps on a-comin'" was the motto of Texas Ranger Bill McDonald (1852-1918). It later became a motto…
“No Store Does More” (H-E-B slogan)
H-E-B is a large supermarket chain in Texas and northern Mexico. The H-E-B slogan "No Store Does More" has been used and trademarked since January 30, 2009. "No Store Does More For…