“No Vacancy” (bumper sticker)
Entry in progress -- B.P. 1 January 1980, New York (NY) Times, "House Hunters Turning to Shrinking Rental Market" by Howell Raines, pg. 12: Profit and loss aside, the number of renters…
“None of the hits, all of the time” (91.7 KVXR-FM, student radio at UT-Austin)
The motto for 91.7 KVXR-FM, the student-run radio station of the University of Texas at Austin, is "None of the hits, all of the time." Austin is known as the "Live Music Capital of…
“Normal cat ... Meow. Texan cat ... Meowdy”
Entry in progress -- BP Reddit -- DadjokesPosted by u/VERBERD February 14, 2021Normal cat .....Meow...Texan cat...... Meowdy...COMMENTSBentup85“... purrtner.”
“North is a direction. The South is a lifestyle”
"North is a direction. (The) South is a lifestyle" is an American saying that has been printed on many images. "North is a direction. The south is a lifestyle. #southerncharm"…
“Not guilty, but return the horse” (Old West Justice)
The following joke is told under the title of "Old West Justice." A horse is stolen from a very unpopular man. The jury returns a verdict of "Not guilty, but return the horse."…
“Nothing strikes fear in a Texan like a Yankee with a U-Haul”
The saying "Nothing strikes fear in a Texans like a Yankee with a U-Haul" (that is, a Northerner who moves to the South) is cited in print from 1984-85, but probably dates to the 1970s.…
“Oh, we must be in Pasadena!”
The city of Pasadena (near Houston) has many petrochemical plants and has been nicknamed "Stinkadena" by many people. According to an internet joke list about Houston (that dates to at…
“On earth, as it is in Austin”
"On earth, as it is in Austin" has appeared on bumper stickers and T-shirts since the early 1990s. The prayer normally goes "on earth, as it is in Heaven." Other slogans have…
“On the 8th day God created Texas”
"On the 8th day God created Texas" has been a T-shirt design since at least the early 1990s. BiggerInTexas.comBiggerInTexas.com > Designs > On the 8th Day God Created Texas Texas…
“On this site in 1897, nothing happened”
There are plaques and historical markers on many old places that explain the historical significance, but a parody of this is the sign: "On this site in 1897, nothing happened." It is not…
“Once you are in Texas it seems to take forever to get out, and some people never make it”
John Steinbeck traveled across America in 1960 with his dog Charley; he wrote about it in his book, Travels with Charley: In Search of America (1962). Steinbeck didn't much care for Texas, but…
“Once you get rid of integrity, the rest is a piece of cake” (J.R. on Dallas tv series)
"Once you get rid of integrity, the rest is a piece of cake" was Larry Hagman's favorite line on the long-running television series Dallas. He played mean old J. R. Ewing. Wikipedia:…
“One great thing about Texas heat: You can guarantee no one is waiting in your back seat”
"One great thing about Louisiana/Texas heat: You can guarantee no one is waiting in your back seat to kill you" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. That is,…
“One is scared and the other is glad of it”
"One's scared and the other is glad of it" is said of a schoolyard fight or of a boxing match, where one side doesn't want to fight and the other side is relieved. The saying is…
“One Riot—One Ranger” (Texas Rangers)
The Texas Rangers are a tough breed. They were often outnumbered, and the "one riot -- one Ranger" statement is possibly true. Texas Department of Public Safety -- Texas RangersOne Riot,…
“One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila, Floor!”
A popular T-shirt ode to drinking tequila is: "One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila, FLOOR!" The saying dates to 1995. The tequila saying is taken from the simple counting game:…
“Only a buzzard feeds on its friends”
"Only a buzzard feeds on his/its friends" has been on a popular Internet list of sayings titled "A Cowboy's Guide to Life." Texas Bix Bender has used "Only a buzzard…
“Only a fool argues with a skunk, a mule, or a cook”
"Only a fool argues with a skunk, a mule, or a cook" is a popular bit of cowboy wisdom. The origin of the phrase is unclear. Harry Oliver's Desert Rat Scrap BookOnly a fool argues…
“Only angry people win football games”
University of Texas head football coach Darrell Royal (1924-2012) was quoted in August 1966: "Trends are bunk. Only angry people win football games." Royal was talking about football…
“Only newcomers and fools predict the weather in Texas”
The old Texas weather saying (dating from at least the early 1900s) is: "Only newcomers and fools predict the weather in Texas." It's alleged that a newcomer once responded that…