“Mild salsa tastes like tomato sauce”
Many people do not like mild salsa and have compared it to other weak things. "man this mild salsa tastes like ketchup" was posted on X/Twitter by JASMINE on July 17, 2010. "mild…
“More horses’ asses than horses”
It's been said that at the racetrack there are "more horses' asses than horses." The phrase applies to many other situations as well and is of unknown origin. Some websites have…
“Most Dangerous Place” (between Senator Phil Gramm and a camera or microphone)
It's often said that the most dangerous place to be in the world is between a politician and a camera (or a microphone). You'll get crushed! U.S. Senator Bob Dole (R-Kansas) said in 1995…
“Mountain lion in Texas” (joke)
A "mountain lion in Texas" joke is told of a mountain lion who ate Texans, but still didn't have enough to eat. The mountain lion would scare the crap and then knock the wind out of…
“My cow died last night, so I don’t need your bull”
"My cow died last night, so I don't need your bull" is a phrase of uncertain origin. It's so familiar in some parts that "My cow died last night" is all that needs to…
“My favorite California city is Austin, Texas”
Austin is a city that is often more liberal than most of Texas. Many people from California have moved to Austin. "My favorite California city is Austin...and it just so happens to be smack…
“My friend was in a quiz and phoned me, ‘What’s the second largest state in the USA?’”
"Texas" should not be confused with "text us," but there are jokes. This was posted by Jokerswild on X/Twitter on June 24, 2019: My mate phoned me and said "I'm in a…
“My Heroes Have Always Been Cowboys”
"My Heroes Have Always Been Cowboys" is the title of a Sharon Rice/Sharon Vaughn-written song that appeared on the 1976 album Wanted! The Outlaws by Waylon Jennings, Willie Nelson, Jessi…
“My least favorite California city is Austin, Texas”
Austin is a city that is often more liberal than most of Texas. Many people from California have moved to Austin. "My favorite California city is Austin...and it just so happens to be smack…
“My tacos arrived with a fork on the plate. I can only assume it’s there to protect myself against anyone who tries to steal my tacos”
"My tacos arrived with a fork on the plate. I can only guess it’s there to stab (potential) taco thieves" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Tacos are usually eaten with…
“My tacos arrived with a fork on the plate. I can only guess it’s there to stab potential taco thieves”
"My tacos arrived with a fork on the plate. I can only guess it’s there to stab (potential) taco thieves" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Tacos are usually eaten with…
“My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nachos” (Merc.-Venus-Earth-Mars-Jupiter-Sat.-Uranus-Nept.)
Pluto was declassified as a planet in August 2006. The mnemonic device for remembering the order of the planets from the sun had been "My Very Educated Mother Served Us Nine Pizzas." With…
“Nacogdoches is full of roaches” (Groucho Marx)
The Marx Brothers began their comedy career with ad-lib remarks while on the vaudeville circuit in 1912. "Nacogdoches is full of roaches" declared Groucho Marx during the routine.…
“National Beer of Texas” & “It’s a Texas Thing” (Lone Star Beer)
Lone Star Beer began when prohibition ended. Lone Star has used the slogans "National Beer of Texas" since 1984 and "It's a Texas Thing" since 2000. "It's a Texas…
“National Drink of Texas” (Dr. Pepper)
Dr. Pepper (a soft drink) is sometimes humorously called "the national drink of Texas." Dr. Pepper has called itself "the world's oldest major soft drink" and "the…
“Native foreign food” (Waverly Root on “Tex-Mex”)
Tex-Mex cuisine is often said to be mostly Texas, with very little authentic Mexican foodways. The food author Waverly Root wrote in his book Eating in America (1976) an often-quoted statement…
“Need no teef to eat my beef” (House Park Bar-B-Que, Austin)
"Need no teef to eat my beef" is the non-trademarked slogan at the House Park Bar-B-Que in Austin, at West 12th Street near Lamar Boulevard. House Park has been around since 1943;…
“Neighbor, how long has it been since you’ve had a big, thick, steaming bowl of Wolf Brand Chili?”
"Neighbor, how long has it been since you've had a big, thick, steaming bowl of Wolf Brand Chili?" [Dramatic pause] "Well, that's too long!" Wolf brand chili was…
“Nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs”
"Nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs" means to be very nervous -- the cat must not get the tail caught under a rocking chair. The syndicated newspaper column…
“Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction”
"Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction" is often said to be an old cowboy saying, but its author is unknown. The cowboy proverb is cited…