“Hotter Than a Stolen Tamale;” “Hotter Than a Fur Coat in Marfa”
There are many ways a Texan can say that "it's hot." "Hot tamales" are hot. Something stolen is "hot." So what could be "hotter than a stolen tamale"?…
“Houston—The Real Texas”
"Houston -- The Real Texas" was a slogan invented by the Greater Houston Convention and Visitors Bureau in 1993. Many parts of Texas claim to be "the real Texas," and this…
“Houston is actually an hour away from Houston”
"Houston is an hour away from Houston" is a popular saying for two reasons: (1) Houston is the largest city in the United States in total area, and (2) there is a lot of traffic. "It…
“Houston is an hour away from Houston”
"Houston is an hour away from Houston" is a popular saying for two reasons: (1) Houston is the largest city in the United States in total area, and (2) there is a lot of traffic. "It…
“Houston is Los Angeles with the climate of Calcutta” (Molly Ivins?)
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: Houston, TexasHouston (pronounced /ˈhjuːstən/) is the fourth-largest city in the United States of America and the largest city within the state of Texas. As…
“Houston is two hours away from Houston”
"Houston is an hour away from Houston" is a popular saying for two reasons: (1) Houston is the largest city in the United States in total area, and (2) there is a lot of traffic. Some…
“Houston Proud”
"Houston Proud" was a 1986 promotional campaign from the Houston Economic Development Commission to promote the city after oil revenues took a hit on the city's fortunes. It was…
“Houston, we have a problem”
"Houston, we have a problem" was the alleged statement made from Apollo 13 to Houston space command in April 1970. The actual statement differs slightly from that. Apollo 13 successfully…
“Houston. It’s Worth It”
"Houston. It's Worth It" ("HIWI" for short) began in 2004; the unusual city promotional campaign acknowledges Houston's many problems, but declares that the city it…
“Houston’s Hot”
"Houston's Hot" was the slogan when President George Bush held an 1990 Economic Summit in Houston. Some people have stated that some advertising person received a fortune for stating…
“How ‘bout them Cowboys?”
"How 'bout them Cowboys!" is what Dallas Cowboys coach Jimmy Johnson said on January 17, 1993, after a 30-20 victory over the San Francisco 49ers that would send the Cowboys into…
“How about them cookies?”
Entry in progress -- B.P."How do you like them apples?""How 'bout them Cowboys?" TwitterBen Grubb@bengrubb@benzoenator That sounds... fun :| - I plan to not work at all…
“How do you pronounce the name of this place?” (Mexia)
How do you pronounce the name of Mexia, Texas? There's even an old joke about this! Mexia Area Chamber of Commercea great placeno matter how you say it Wikipedia: Mexia, TexasMexia (pronounced…
“How do you tell if a person is a level-headed country boy?”/“Snuff runs out of both sides.”
A Southern saying about a snuff dipper is: Q: How do you tell if a person is a level-headed country boy?A: Snuff runs out of both sides of his mouth. "Son, that is what you call a level-headed…
“How does a cowboy start his day?”/“He reboots.”
A cowboy riddle was posted on Reddit -- DadJokes on December 7, 2019, then on Reddit -- 3amjokes on December 14, 2019: Q: How does a cowboy start his day?A: He reboots. The joke essentially relates…
“How hard could it be?” (2006 Kinky Friedman campaign slogan for governor)
"How hard could it be?” was Texas author/musician/humorist Kinky Friedman’s 2006 campaign slogan in the race for Governor of Texas. He finished fourth. Another popular Kinky Friedman…
“How many Aggies/Texans does it take to eat an armadillo?”
This one has made the rounds of several internet joke files: Q: How many Aggies/Texans does it take to eat an armadillo?A: Three. One to eat the creature, and two to stop traffic. Google Groups:…
“How many Austinites does it take to change a light bulb?” (joke)
"Keep Austin Weird" is an unofficial motto of Austin, urging the city to stay true to its hippie, counterculture roots. The old "lightbulb joke" has an Austin version: Q: How…
“How the cow ate the cabbage”
"How the cow ate the cabbage" means to tell everything ("straight talk"), like the cow eats everything. Ann Richards (then Texas State Treasurer) used "how the cow ate the…
“Humidity is a natural moisturizer”
Humidity has been called the "natural moisturizer" or "nature's moisturizer" or "God's moisturizer," especially in the American South. "I always claimed…