“Go Round Rock” (Round Rock slogan)
The city of Round Rock, Texas, had been called the "Sports Capital of Texas" since after the 2000 opening of the Dell Diamond stadium. The city then wanted to emphasize non-sports…
“God bless Texas” (“God blessed Texas”)
"God bless Texas" is a phrase that can be seen on many Texas gift items -- the phrase can even be purchased for a Texas special license plate. The official Texas state song, "Texas,…
“God bless West, Texas” (West, Texas slogan)
The city of West, Texas, had an explosion at the West Fertilizer Plant on April 17, 2013; at least 15 people died and 200 were injured. The slogan "God bless West" was printed on many…
“God first, family second, career third” (Mary Kay)
"God first, family second, career third" was a belief of Mary Kay Ash (1915-2001), the Dallas-based founder of the Mary Kay cosmetics company. Her third priority (career) certainly did…
“God made Texas on his day off, for pure entertainment…” (Mary Lasswell)
The author Mary Lasswell (1905-1994) grew up in Brownsville. In her book I'll Take Texas (1958), she wrote a sentiment that is widely quoted: "I am forced to conclude that God made Texas…
“Goin’ to hell.”/“Get off at Hempstead.” (joke)
An old joke is told about a drunk who got on a train at Houston that was traveling to Austin. The conductor asked for the drunk's ticket, but he had none. "Where do you think you're…
“Good thing we’ve still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented”
Molly Ivins (1944-2007) was more than a political commentator or a humorist. She was a Texas original, and it showed in everything she wrote. She loved to write about the often ridiculous goings on…
“Goodnight, Austin, Texas, wherever you are”
“Goodnight, Austin, Texas, wherever you are" is a line credited to musician Frank Zappa (1940-1993), during an Austin concert at the Armadillo World Headquarters on May 20-21, 1975. The line…
“Great Seafood, Not a Lot of Clams” (Rockfish Seafood Grill slogan)
"Great Seafood, Not a Lot of Clams" is the slogan of Rockfish Seafood Grill, a Dallas-based seafood restaurant chain. Texans hate clams? Rockfish Seafood GrillROCKFISH Seafood Grill is…
“Grinning like a jackass eating briars”
"Grinning like a jackass eating briars" means someone who gives a very wide smile and shows a lot of teeth. "Grins at her across the caldron after the fashion of a horse eating…
“Gun control means a steady aim”
"Gun control means a steady aim" is a phrase that's been used in Texas and many other western states. A Nebraska senator used the phrase in 1980. Free Market Fairy TalesAnd even in…
“Guns Up” (Texas Tech)
"Guns Up" is the Texas Tech response to Hook 'em, Horns," the University of Texas hand gesture. Glenn Dippel (Texas Tech class of 1961) is credited with inventing and…
“Hair, Horns and Holler” (ingredients of a cowboy stew)
What are the ingredients of the famous "son-of-a-bitch" stew? According to some sources, the ingredients are "hair, horns, and holler." The term is sometimes given as…
“Half of Louisiana is under water and the other half is under indictment”
Hurricane Katrina of 2005 saw many Louisiana residents temporarily move to Texas. A popular Hurricane Katrina joke was: "Half of Louisiana is under water and the other half is under…
“Handy as hip pockets on a hog”
"Useless as hip pockets on a hog" is a phrase of unknown origin, but it's cited from the 1930s. "Useless" is now replaced with "handy," and sometimes it's…
“Happiness is a Texan headed south with an Okie under each arm”
Many Texans and Oklahomans arrived in Alaska from 1974-1977 to work on the Trans-Alaska Pipeline. A popular bumper sticker in Alaska (cited from at least 1976) was: ""Happiness is a Texan…
“Happiness is Lubbock, Texas, in my rear view mirror”
Singer and songwriter Mac Davis was born in Lubbock, Texas. His 1980 song, "Texas in My Rear View Mirror," contains the lyrics: "I thought happiness was Lubbock, Texas, in my rear…
“Harder than eating red beans with a pitchfork”
"Harder than eating red beans with a pitchfork" is said to be an East Texas saying for something that is very difficult to do. Nobody eats beans with a pitchfork -- the beans slip…
“Harelips the governor” (“hare-lips the governor”)
"I don't care if it harelips the governor" (or "hare-lips the governor") means the same as "come hell or high water." The phrase (also popularly used in to…
“Have a big time in Texas” (Texas slogan)
"Have a Big Time in Texas" is a Texas tourist slogan that was advertised since May 1985. Texas is a big state, so people can have a "big time." In 1987, "Another Big Times…