“Why didn’t the dog want to play football?”/“It was a boxer.”
A dog riddle is: Q: Why didn't the dog want to play football?A: It was a boxer. The "boxer" pun has been cited in print since at least 2001. Wikipedia: Boxer (dog)The Boxer is a…
“Why do humans need jobs why can’t i just exist & make art and chill with my cat”
"why do humans need jobs why can’t i just exist & make art and chill with my cat" was posted on X/Twitter by juno on Januay 26, 2021. This account is no longer on X/Twitter.…
“Why do kittens make good announcers?”/“Because they have wee paws for station identification.”
"We pause for station identification" has been said by radio announcers for many years. A riddle has been cited in print since at least 1940: Q: Why does a radio announcer have small…
“Why do the police use drug-sniffing dogs rather than sober ones?”
The term "drug-sniffing dog" means that the dog sniffs to detect drugs, not that the dog is addicted to drugs. "Why do the police use those drug-sniffing dogs instead of the sober…
“Why don’t blind people go skydiving?”/“Because it scares the hell out of their dogs.”
A riddle about the sport of skydiving is: Q: Why don't blind people go skydiving?A: Because it scares the hell out of their dogs. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 1989. Google…
“Why is a dog scared of a fire?”/“It doesn’t want to become a hot dog.”
A hot dog riddle is: Q: Why is a dog scared of a fire?A: It doesn't want to become a hot dog. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2007. Klosi JokesCategory: Dog jokesDate Added:…
“Why is a police dog called a K-9?”/“Because if it was higher it would be a cat.”
A police dog unit is called K-9 (canine). It's not called K-10 because -- according to the joke -- that would be a cat (kitten). "Police dog is K-9 (canine). If cats were trained they…
“Why was the cannibal looking peeky?”/“Because he had just eaten a Chinese dog.”
A cannibal riddle is: Q: Why was the cannibal looking peeky?A: Because he had just eaten a Chinese dog. That would probably be a Pekingese to make the cannibal feel "peeky." The joke has…
“Why was the cat so small?”/“Because it only ate condensed milk.”
A milk riddle is: Q: Why was the cat so small? A: Because it only ate condensed milk. The "condensed milk" joke has been cited in print since at least 2003. Google BooksNoah's…
“Why was the racehorse named Strawberry Ice?”/“He was a sherbet.”
A sherbet riddle is: Q: Why was the racehorse named Strawberry Ice?A: He was a sherbet (sure bet). The joke was posted on Twitter on November 2, 2009. Wiktionary: sherbet Nounsherbet (countable and…
“With money, Latin and a good horse, you can get through all Europe”
"With Latin, a horse, and money, thou wilt pass through the world. Span." was cited in John Ray's Collection of English Proverbs (1670). "PROV. 'Con Latin, rocin y fiorin…
“Working with academics is like herding cats” (education adage)
"Working with academics is like herding cats" is a T-shirt slogan that is popular in the education field, although "herding cats" has a longer history. According to the 2003…
“You can trust a dog to guard your house, but never trust a dog to guard your sandwich”
Trust has its limits. "You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich" was posted on Twitter on November 20, 2012. "You can trust a dog to…
“You can trust your dog to guard your house, but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich”
Trust has its limits. "You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich" was posted on Twitter on November 20, 2012. "You can trust a dog to…
“You can’t beat a horse with no horse” (political adage)
"You can't beat a horse with no horse" is a racetrack saying meaning that you must have a horse in the race to beat another horse. The saying has been almost exclusively used in…
“You can’t ride two horses with one behind”
"You can't ride two horses at one time" is a popular proverb that dates to at least the 1800s. The expression slowly become more colorful. "We cannot ride two horses with one…
“You can’t swing a dead cat in Austin without hitting a musician”
Austin has been called the Live Music Capital of the World. It's been said that "you can't swing a dead cat in Austin without hitting a musician." "Swing a dead cat"…
“You can’t tell me what to do, you’re not my dog”
"You don't get to tell me what to do, you're not my dog" (also "Don't tell me what to do, you're not my dog" and "You can't tell me what to do,…
“You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my dog”
"You don't get to tell me what to do, you're not my dog" (also "Don't tell me what to do, you're not my dog" and "You can't tell me what to do,…
“You know it’s cold outside when you trip over dog poop instead of stepping in it”
"You know it's cold outside when you trip over dog poop/shit instead of stepping in it" is a jocular winter saying that has been printed on many images. "You know it's cold…