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January 17, 2017
Exercise/Running/Health ClubsPets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“Why did the guy name his dog 5 Miles?”/“So every day he can say, ‘I just walked 5 Miles.’”

Entry in progress -- B.P. "The doctor told me that I need to lose some weight, so I bought a dog, named him ‘Some Weight,’ and lost him" is a similar joke. Twitter Jamie…

October 30, 2016
Pets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)Work/Businesses

“Why did the headless horseman go into business?”/“He wanted to get a head in life.”

A popular riddle about the headless horseman is: Q: Why did the headless horseman go into business?A: He wanted to get ahead (a head) in life. The joke was posted to the newsgroup…

July 20, 2018
Food/DrinkPets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“Why did the horseman put a saddle on a large loaf of bread?”/“It was a crusty steed.”

A trusty steed shouldn't be confused with a "crusty" steed. A riddle is: Q: Why did the horseman put a saddle on a large loaf of bread? A: It was a crusty steed! A form of the joke…

September 21, 2017
Food/DrinkPets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“Why did the pirate send his hot dog back at Nathan’s?”/“Because it was a salty dog.”

A pirate riddle is: Q: Why did the pirate send his hot dog back at Nathan's?A: Because it was a salty dog! The joke was posted on PirateJokes.net on December 2, 2008. Wikipedia: Salty dogSalty…

December 22, 2021
Pets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)Streets

“Why did the yo-yo cross the road?”/“It was walking the dog.”

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. A yo-yo version is: Q: Why did the yo-yo cross the road?A: It was…

April 9, 2018
Pets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)Sports/Games

“Why didn’t the dog want to play football?”/“It was a boxer.”

A dog riddle is: Q: Why didn't the dog want to play football?A: It was a boxer. The "boxer" pun has been cited in print since at least 2001. Wikipedia: Boxer (dog)The Boxer is a…

September 23, 2024
Art/SculpturePets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)Work/Businesses

“Why do humans need jobs why can’t i just exist & make art and chill with my cat”

"why do humans need jobs why can’t i just exist & make art and chill with my cat" was posted on X/Twitter by juno on Januay 26, 2021. This account is no longer on X/Twitter.…

February 6, 2018
Pets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)Radio/Television

“Why do kittens make good announcers?”/“Because they have wee paws for station identification.”

"We pause for station identification" has been said by radio announcers for many years. A riddle has been cited in print since at least 1940: Q: Why does a radio announcer have small…

April 9, 2022
Government/Law/Military/Religion /HealthPets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“Why do the police use drug-sniffing dogs rather than sober ones?”

The term "drug-sniffing dog" means that the dog sniffs to detect drugs, not that the dog is addicted to drugs. "Why do the police use those drug-sniffing dogs instead of the sober…

December 5, 2016
Pets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)Sports/Games

“Why don’t blind people go skydiving?”/“Because it scares the hell out of their dogs.”

A riddle about the sport of skydiving is: Q: Why don't blind people go skydiving?A: Because it scares the hell out of their dogs. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 1989. Google…

August 25, 2017
Food/DrinkPets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“Why is a dog scared of a fire?”/“It doesn’t want to become a hot dog.”

A hot dog riddle is: Q: Why is a dog scared of a fire?A: It doesn't want to become a hot dog. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2007. Klosi JokesCategory: Dog jokesDate Added:…

August 12, 2017
Government/Law/Military/Religion /HealthPets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“Why is a police dog called a K-9?”/“Because if it was higher it would be a cat.”

A police dog unit is called K-9 (canine). It's not called K-10 because -- according to the joke -- that would be a cat (kitten). "Police dog is K-9 (canine). If cats were trained they…

January 10, 2018
Food/DrinkPets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“Why was the cannibal looking peeky?”/“Because he had just eaten a Chinese dog.”

A cannibal riddle is: Q: Why was the cannibal looking peeky?A: Because he had just eaten a Chinese dog. That would probably be a Pekingese to make the cannibal feel "peeky." The joke has…

March 16, 2018
Food/DrinkPets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“Why was the cat so small?”/“Because it only ate condensed milk.”

A milk riddle is: Q: Why was the cat so small? A: Because it only ate condensed milk. The "condensed milk" joke has been cited in print since at least 2003. Google BooksNoah's…

April 13, 2018
Pets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)Sports/Games

“Why was the racehorse named Strawberry Ice?”/“He was a sherbet.”

A sherbet riddle is: Q: Why was the racehorse named Strawberry Ice?A: He was a sherbet (sure bet). The joke was posted on Twitter on November 2, 2009. Wiktionary: sherbet Nounsherbet (countable and…

May 17, 2015
Banking/Finance/InsurancePets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“With money, Latin and a good horse, you can get through all Europe”

"With Latin, a horse, and money, thou wilt pass through the world. Span." was cited in John Ray's Collection of English Proverbs (1670). "PROV. 'Con Latin, rocin y fiorin…

June 5, 2012
Education/SchoolsPets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“Working with academics is like herding cats” (education adage)

"Working with academics is like herding cats" is a T-shirt slogan that is popular in the education field, although "herding cats" has a longer history. According to the 2003…

February 18, 2018
Food/DrinkPets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“You can trust a dog to guard your house, but never trust a dog to guard your sandwich”

Trust has its limits. "You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich" was posted on Twitter on November 20, 2012. "You can trust a dog to…

February 19, 2018
Buildings/Housing/ParksPets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“You can trust your dog to guard your house, but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich”

Trust has its limits. "You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich" was posted on Twitter on November 20, 2012. "You can trust a dog to…

June 14, 2012
Government/Law/Military/Religion /HealthPets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“You can’t beat a horse with no horse” (political adage)

"You can't beat a horse with no horse" is a racetrack saying meaning that you must have a horse in the race to beat another horse. The saying has been almost exclusively used in…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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