“How do you make strange bread?”/“Use weirdough.”
"Weirdo" is sometimes jocularly written as "weirdough" (weird/weirdo + dough). "Crêpe" can sound like "creep," and "donut" like "do…
“How do you make Swiss cheese?”/“With a holey cow.”
A riddle about the holes in Swiss cheese is: Q: How do you make Swiss cheese?A: with a holey cow. "Do they use holy cows to make Swiss Cheese?" was posted on Twitter on April 5, 2009.…
“How do you milk chocolate?”
"Milk chocolate" is a noun. It should not be confused with the verb "milk" chocolate, but there are jokes. "Thought to ponder - how does one 'milk'…
“How do you milk sheep?”/“With iPhone accessories.”
Apple's iPhone has had many versions, and there are many apps for it. A riddle is: Q: How do you milk sheep?A: With iPhone accessories. "What's the best way to milk a sheep? $30…
“How do you order food at a Muslim restaurant?”/“Allah carte.”
"À la carte" sounds like "Allah carte, prompting the pun: Q: How do you order food at a Muslim restaurant?A: Allah carte. The "Allah carte" joke has been cited in print…
“How do you photoshop yourself and still look ugly? That’s like cheating on a test & still failing”
Failing a test is bad. Failing an open book test very bad. Cheating and still failing a test is also very bad. "#worstfeeling cheating on a test and still failing smh" was posted on…
“How do you prepare your turkey for Thanksgiving?”/“Oh, I just tell him he’s going to die.”
"Preparing" a turkey usually means cooking instructions, but not according to a Thanksgiving/Christmas turkey joke. This was posted on the newsgroup alt.humor on December 21, 2002:…
“How do you prevent a summer cold?”/“Catch it in the winter.”
A riddle about the seasons is: Q: How do you prevent a summer cold?A: Catch it in the winter. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1996. Google BooksFunniest Riddle Book in the WorldBy…
“How do you protect a valuable instrument?”/“Hide it in an accordion case.”
An accordion riddle is: Q: How do you protect a valuable instrument?A: Hide it in an accordion case. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1999. 4 September 1999, Great Falls (MT)…
“How do you repair a damaged Toll Booth?”/“Toll Gate Booth Paste.”
A toll booth joke is: Q: How do you repair a damaged Toll Booth?A: Toll Gate Booth Paste. The pun on "Colgate toothpaste" has been cited in print since at least 1999. Google BooksThe Best…
“How do you reset your body back to factory settings? Is it kale? It’s kale, isn’t it?”
Many people really do not like kale, no matter the health benefits. This was posted on Twitter by Benny 'Top Dog' Rollins on July 14, 2015: "How do you restore your body back to…
“How do you save a drowning lawyer?” (lawyer joke)
The drowning lawyer (or lawyers) joke has been one of the most popular of lawyer jokes. A simple form was cited in print in 1984: "'Know how to save a drowning lawyer?' --…
“How do you say goodbye in Arabic?”/“BOOM!”
"How do you say goodbye in Arabic?" is the start of a joke about Islamic terrorism. "How do you say goodbye in Arabic?....Press the detonator" was cited on Twitter on April 23,…
“How do you say goodnight to a tortilla chip?”/“Buenos Nachos!”
"Buenos noches" (good night) shouldn't be confused with "nachos" (a food), but there are jokes. "How do you say midnight snack in Spanish? Buenos NACHOS" was…
“How do you say thank you to a New York sushi chef?”/“Gracias.”
It's well known that, no matter what cuisine a restaurant has, there will be Spanish speakers working in the kitchen. There's a joke about it: Q: How do you say thank you to a New York…
“How do you scare a snowman?”/“You get a hairdryer!”
A snowman riddle is: Q: How do you scare a snowman?A: You get a hairdryer! The joke was posted on Twitter on November 9, 2011. TwitterHannah @HannahTweetsWWE.. How do you scare a snowman? You…
“How do you separate church and state when the state is your church?”
Many people have sought the separation of church and state, but to some people (statists) the state is their church. "HOW DO YOU SEPARATE CHURCH AND STATE WHEN THE STATE IS YOUR CHURCH?"…
“How do you shock chicken broth?”/“With a soup-rise.”
"Surprise" sounds a bit like "soup rise." "How do you scare a gazpacho? With a soup-rise!" was posted on Twitter by Alex Lea on January 6, 2012. "How do you shock…
“How do you spell candy with two letters?”/“C and Y.”
An old riddle about candy is: Q: How do you spell "candy" in two letters?A: C and Y. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 1903. 14 April 1903, Boston (MA) Globe, pg. 10, col.…
“How do you spot a glacier?”/“You have to have good ice sight.”
"Ice sight" can sound like "eyesight." "What you have to have to spot a glacier -- GOOD ICE SIGHT" was printed in the newspaper "Jumble" puzzle by Henri…