“How do you turn milk into cheese?”/“Put it in solid dairy confinement.”
"Solitary confinement" shouldn't be confused with "solid dairy confinement," but there are jokes. "Where do you put illegal cheese? Solid dairy confinement!" was…
“How do you turn soup into gold?”/“Add 24 carrots.”
"Carrot" (a vegetable) sounds like "karat" (a unit of gold), and there's a pun: Q: How do you turn soup into gold?A: Add 24 carrots. The joke has been cited in print since…
“How do you turn white chocolate into dark chocolate?”/“Turn off the light.”
A chocolate riddle is: Q: How do you turn white chocolate into dark chocolate?A: Turn off the light. The joke was posted on Twitter on January 9, 2013. TwitterHamish James@mrhamishjamesReplying to…
“How do you unlock a haunted house?”/“With a skeleton key.”
A skeleton key is a master key that opens many doors. "Now I know how ghosts get into haunted houses. They use skeleton keys!" was printed in the Washington (DC) Post on November 28,…
“How do zombies do well in school?”/“They eat lots of brain food.”
A riddle about zombies is: Q: How do zombies do well in school?A: They eat lots of brain food. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2012. TwitterDavid Murray@SasquatchDaveWhy do…
“How do zombies do well in school?”/“They eat lots of brain food.”
A riddle about zombies is: Q: How do zombies do well in school?A: They eat lots of brain food. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2012. TwitterDavid Murray@SasquatchDaveWhy do…
“How does a capitalist text?”/“BY YELLING.”
A "capitalist" is sometimes just a person who likes to write in all capital letters. "All caps" is regarded online as shouting or yelling. A joke was posted on Reddit --…
“How does a caveman like his drink?”/“On the rocks.”
"On the rocks" (on ice) is usually not taken literally -- except in some jokes. The American television sitcom New Girl, the episode "What About Fred" that originally aired on…
“How does a computer get drunk?”/“It takes screen shots.”
A computer riddle is: Q: How does a computer get drunk?A: It takes screen shots. The joke was posted on Twitter by Prank Call Joy on April 6, 2018. TwitterPrank Call Joy@prankcalljoyQ. How does a…
“How does a computer get drunk?”/“It takes screenshots.”
A computer riddle is: Q: How does a computer get drunk?A: It takes screenshots. The joke was posted on Twitter by Prank Call Joy on April 6, 2018. TwitterPrank Call Joy@prankcalljoyQ. How does a…
“How does a computer learn new things?”/“Bit by bit.”
A computer riddle is: Q: How does a computer learn new things?A: Bit by bit. The joke was posted on Twitter by Dr. Aayesha Hassan on February 21, 2019. Twitter Caleb Norton@CalebNorton1How does a…
“How does a cucumber become a pickle?”/“It goes through a jarring experience.”
"A bit of humor: A pickle is a cucumber soured by a jarring experience" was printed in The Current Local (Van Buren, MO) on July 14, 1988. "'A pickle is a cucumber soured by a…
“How does a flat earther travel the world?”/“On a plane.”
A flat earth riddle is: Q: How does a flat earther travel the world?A: On a plane (plain). The joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on November 30, 2017. Reddit -- JokesHow does a Flat Earther travel…
“How does a French woman hold her liquor?”/“By the ears.”
"Liquor" sounds like "licker," and there's a a sex pun that was cited in the newsgroup rec.humor on October 24, 1990: Q: How does a women hold her liquor?A: By the ears.…
“How does a hotel room taste?”/“Suite.”
A hotel room "suite" is sometimes given the pun "sweet." The Disney Channel sitcom The Suite Life of Zack & Cody (2005-2008) punned on the two words "suite" and…
“How does a jazz musician end up with a million dollars?”/“By starting out with two million dollars.
A jazz musician riddle has been cited in print since at least 1996: Q: How does a jazz musician end up with a million dollars? A: Give him ten million and wait a couple of months. "How does a…
“How does a kaiju find a home?”/“Through Godzillow.”
Godzilla is a famous fictional monster in Japanese films who often destroys houses. Zillow is an American online real estate marketplace company. There is no "Godzillow," but there are…
“How does a lawyer stop the bleeding?”/“Attorney-kit.”
"A tourniquet" sounds a bit like "attorney kit." "This incompetent lawyer's case is bleeding out! get attorney kit" was posted on Twitter by…
“How does a non-binary ninja kill someone?”/“They/Them.”
Some people identify as "they/them." A riddle was posted on Twitter by Seri Bea(selfish era) on March 20, 2021: Q: How does a non-binary samurai kill people? A: They/them. That is,…
“How does a non-binary samurai kill people?”/“They/Them.”
Some people identify as "they/them." A riddle was posted on Twitter by Seri Bea(selfish era) on March 20, 2021: Q: How does a non-binary samurai kill people? A: They/them. That is,…