“How do you get into college?”/“Through the door.”
"How do you get into college?" usually refers to being accepted at a college, but there are jokes. "'My son got into DeVry' 'what'd he have to do? Open the…
“How do you get into the School of Rock?”/“You rock enroll.”
School of Rock is a 2003 comedy film directed by Richard Linklater. A "rock and roll" pun was posted on X/Twitter by LaughBreak || Dad Jokes ‘N More on August 29, 2023, and again on…
“How do you get rid of a boomerang?”/“Throw it down a one-way street.”
A boomerang riddle is: Q: How do you get rid of a boomerang?A: Throw it down a one-way street. The joke was printed in The Sun-Herald (Sydney, New South Wales) on July 8, 1973. Newspapers.com8 July…
“How do you get rid of a fat ghost in a house?”/“You exercise it.”
There are many "exercise" and "exorcise" puns. "We had a fat ghost haunting our house so I got our local gym instructor to exercise him" was posted on Twitter by Matt…
“How do you get to Carnegie Deli?” (joke)
"How do you get to Carnegie Hall?"/"Practice!" is a classic New York City joke. The Carnegie Deli opened in 1937, adjacent to Carnegie Hall. Carnegie Deli announced in late 2016…
“How do you get to Carnegie Hall?” (joke)
"How do you get to Carnegie Hall?" is a question visitors often ask. Old-time New Yorkers can provide the punchline: "Practice!" The joke has been cited in print since 1955.…
“How do you handle a dangerous cheese?”/“Caerphilly.”
Caerphilly cheese originates in the town of Caerphilly in Wales. The cheese has been the subject of some obvious puns, such as this one in 1994: Q: How do Welsh people eat cheese? A: Caerphilly.…
“How do you inspect Greek food?”/“With a gyroscope.”
"Gyro" (a Greek food) and "gyroscope" a measuring device) are not the same thing and are usually not pronounced the same, but there are jokes. "New iPhone 4 adds a…
“How do you insult a hamburger patty?”/“Call it a meatball!”
A hamburger riddle is: Q: How do you insult a hamburger patty? A: Call it a meatball. The joke was printed in the book One Hundred and One Hamburger Jokes (1978) by Phil Hirsch. Google BooksOne…
“How do you keep a Baptist from drinking all your beer?”/“Invite two of them.”
A popular joke is told about Southern Baptists: Q: If you invite a Baptist to go fishing with you, how do you keep him from drinking all your beer?A: Invite two of them! That is, the Baptists will…
“How do you keep a dog from barking in your front yard?”/“Put him in your back yard.”
A dog riddle is: Q: How do you keep a dog from barking in your front yard? A: Put him in your back yard. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1991. “How do you stop a dog from barking…
“How do you keep a violin from getting stolen?”/“Put it in a viola case.”
A popular riddle about the viola is: Q: How do you keep a violin from getting stolen?A: Put it in a viola case. In other words, no one would steal a viola. THe joke has been cited in print since at…
“How do you keep bacon from curling in the pan?”/“You take away its tiny brooms.”
Bacon curls in the frying pan. This has nothing to do with the sport of curling, but there is a joke: Q: How do you stop bacon from curling in the frying pan?A: You take away its tiny brooms! The…
“How do you keep bacon from curling in the pan?”/“You take away its tiny brooms.”
Bacon curls in the frying pan. This has nothing to do with the sport of curling, but there is a joke: Q: How do you stop bacon from curling in the frying pan?A: You take away its tiny brooms! The…
“How do you kill a coffee bean?”/“By decaf-itation.”
"Decapitation" (cutting off someone's head) is sometimes written as the coffee joke portmanteau word "decafitation" (decaf coffee, to many a "decapitation" of…
“How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one”
"How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. That is, he buys more beer than he…
“How do you know if someone invests in crypto?”/“Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.”
“How do you know if someone is a vegan?"/"Don’t worry, they’ll tell you" is a classic joke. There is a version for bitcoin. "How do you know when someone is a Bitcoin…
“How do you know if someone is a vegan?”/“Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.”
"How do you know if someone is a vegan? Don't worry, they'll tell you" is a jocular saying that has been printed on posters. The joke has been cited in print since at least…
“How do you know if someone is hitchhiking or just complimenting your driving?”
When a person by the side of the road sticks a thumb out, is that person hitchhiking or doing/saying something else? "I dont know if this guy is hitchhiking or just letting me know his life is…
“How do you know if someone is holding cryptocurrency?”/“Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.”
“How do you know if someone is a vegan?"/"Don’t worry, they’ll tell you" is a classic joke. There is a version for bitcoin. "How do you know when someone is a Bitcoin…