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May 11, 2021
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How do you know if someone is vaccinated?”/“Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.”

The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in vaccines, and many people advertised their vaccinations on social media. A joke about this is: "How do you know if someone is…

March 10, 2015
Music/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus

“How do you know if there’s a lead singer outside your door?” (joke)

A classic joke is told about a singer (or a bad musician): Q: How do you know if there's a lead singer outside your door? A: You don't: She can't find the key and doesn't know…

May 17, 2024
Banking/Finance/InsuranceEducation/Schools

“How do you know somebody is broke?”/“They have a college degree.”

Many people with college degrees can’t afford to repay their student loans. "How do you know someone is broke? They have a college degree" was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on May 9,…

May 17, 2024
Banking/Finance/InsuranceEducation/Schools

“How do you know someone is broke?”/“They have a college degree.”

Many people with college degrees can’t afford to repay their student loans. "How do you know someone is broke? They have a college degree" was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on May 9,…

April 13, 2017
Food/Drink

“How do you know that carrots are good for your eyes?”/“Have you ever seen rabbits wearing glasses?”

Does eating carrots improve one's eyesight? A popular riddle is: Q: How do you know that carrots are good for your eyes?A: Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses? The joke has been cited…

March 19, 2015
Music/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus

“How do you know when a drummer is at your door?” (joke)

One popular drummer joke (among many) is: Q: How can you tell when there's a drummer at your door?A: The knocking speeds up. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1993. Google…

October 23, 2017
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How do you know when a liberal is really dead?’/“His heart stops bleeding.”

A joke on the term "bleeding heart liberal" is: Q: How do you know when a liberal is really dead?A: His/Her heart stops bleeding. The joke was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on January…

September 21, 2021
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How do you know when a website is lying? It ends in dot gov”

United States government websites end in ".gov," and many people do not have faith in the federal government. An image was posted on Twitter by hackerbot.eth on February 6, 2021:…

April 15, 2021
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How do you know when Dracula catches Coronavirus?”/“When he’s always coffin.”

A joke about Dracula (a literary character associated with vampires) and coffin (coughing) became popular in 2020 with the COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic. "How do you know when Dracula…

December 3, 2017
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“How do you know when Santa is in the room?”/“You can sense his presents.”

A Christmas riddle is: Q: How do you know when Santa is in the room?A: You can sense his presents (presence). The joke has been cited in print since at least 2010. Twitter Seth Caddell‏…

November 29, 2021
Banking/Finance/Insurance

“How do you know when someone is a Bitcoin enthusiast?”/“Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.”

“How do you know if someone is a vegan?"/"Don’t worry, they’ll tell you" is a classic joke. There is a version for bitcoin. "How do you know when someone is a Bitcoin…

February 21, 2017
Music/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus

“How do you know when the stage is level?”/“Drool comes out of both sides of the drummer’s mouth.”

A popular joke about drummers is: Q: How do you know when the stage is level?A: When drool comes out of both sides of the drummer's mouth. "How can you tell if the stage is level? If the…

February 28, 2021
Time/Weather

“How do you know when the weather is entertained?”/“When the thunder claps.”

Entry in progress -- BP Wiktionary: thunderclapNounthunderclap (plural thunderclaps)1. A sudden, loud thunder caused by a nearby lightning strike; a shock of thunder, as opposed to a reverberating…

April 16, 2017
Food/Drink

“How do you know when you’re eating rabbit stew?”/“When it has hares in it.”

A riddle about rabbit stew (or rabbit soup or rabbit pie) is: Q: How do you know when you're eating rabbit stew?A: It has hares in it. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1979 and…

January 17, 2017
Food/Drink

“How do you know when your girlfriend is getting too fat?”/“She fits in your wife’s clothes.”

A popular fat joke -- from a man's perspective -- is: Q: How do you know when your girlfriend is getting too fat?A: She fits in your wife's clothes. The joke has been cited in print since…

March 4, 2015
Education/Schools

“How do you like school, Billy?”/“Closed.”

A joke was printed in the New York City humor magazine Judge in 1922: Kind Old Gentleman -- How do you like school, my little man?Little Man -- I like it closed, sir. The joke is still told today,…

February 7, 2009
Food/Drink

“How do you like them apples?”

"How do you like them apples?" (or "How do you like those apples?") means "How do you like that? or "What do you think of that?" The circumstances…

October 6, 2015
Music/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus

“How do you make a bandstand?”/‘Take away their chairs.”

There's an old joke told about bandstands: Q: How do you make a bandstand?A: Take away their chairs. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1976. "How do you make a hot dog…

April 18, 2021
Food/Drink

“How do you make a Belgian waffle?”/“Ask him why they have never won the World Cup.”

"How do you make a Belgian waffle?" has had several joke punchlines. "How do you make a Belgian waffle? Mention the Congo" was posted on Twitter by The Shogun of Sorrow on July…

March 5, 2022
Food/Drink

“How do you make a Black Russian?”/“Get the BBC to remake Dr. Zhivago.”

A cocktail riddle is: Q: How do you make a Black Russian?A: Get the BBC to remake Dr. Zhivago. A "Black Russian" is a cocktail. Dr. Zhivago (1965) is a classic film, set in Russia in…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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