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August 3, 2023
Food/Drink

“How come married women are heavier than single women?” (joke)

A joke comparing the weight of married women and single women was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on July 24, 2016: "Why are married women always fatter than single women? Single women come home,…

January 16, 2021
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How come so many small towns are named after water towers?”

"Have you ever noticed how many towns are named after their water towers?" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "How come so many small towns are named after…

June 9, 2024
Streets

“How come there is enough asphalt for speed bumps, but not enough to fill pot holes?”

"How come there is enough asphalt for speed bumps, but not enough to fill pot holes?" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has several slight variations. "Why…

January 19, 2018
Food/Drink

“How come, if ants are always so busy, they always get time to show up at picnics?”

Ants have a worker reputation, but is it true? "How can ants be such hard workers when they always have time to show up at picnics?" is a jocular line that was printed in a 1973…

October 16, 2017
Sports/Games

“How come, when my wife says ‘we need to talk,’ it’s never about football?”

A joke was posted on Twitter by FunnyOneLiners‏ on January 7, 2010: "How come, when my wife says 'we need to talk,' it's never about football?" "Football" in…

January 13, 2018
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“How could the dolphin afford to buy a house?”/“He prawned everything.”

"Prawn" sounds to some like "pawn." A riddle is: Q: How could the dolphin afford to buy a house?A: He prawned everything. The joke was posted on the newsgroup…

July 11, 2025
Food/Drink

“How Dawn clean ducks but not my spaghetti bowl??”

"How does Dawn dish soap clean oil off a duck but not a spaghetti bowl?" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Many Dawn advertisements show that the product cleans oil that…

August 2, 2020
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How December 2020 is going to look like: ‘Merry Crisis and a Happy New Fear’”

"Merry crisis and a happy new fear" -- a pun on "Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year" -- has been printed on many images. The saying is from graffiti that was painted on the…

February 10, 2024
Government/Law/Military/Religion /HealthRadio/Television

“How did a generation raised on South Park and Family Guy become so offended by everything?”

"How did a generation raised on South Park and family guy become so offended by everything" was posted on X/Twitter by lex del rey (@lexintheA) on February 23, 2019. (The tweet had over…

July 1, 2016
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?” (restaurant joke)

A popular joke is told about the fast food restaurants Dairy Queen and Burger King (home of the Whopper sandwich): Q: How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?A: Because Burger King forgot to…

May 4, 2020
Music/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus

“How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for his birthday?”/“He felt his presents.”

A Star Wars riddle is: Q: How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for his birthday?A: He felt his presents. Christmas (instead of birthday) is also used in the riddle. The pun is using…

September 11, 2022
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How did Mussolini win the race?”/“He was the fascist.”

"Fascist" shouldn't be confused with "fastest," but there are jokes. "How did Mussolini win the race? ... he was the fascist. #mysadattemptatajoke" was posted on…

November 17, 2024
Time/Weather

“How did ONE hour make it go from dark at 9pm to dark at 6pm… somebody lying”

People have noticed that when they turn their clocks back one hour, when it used to get dark at 9 p.m. it now gets dark at 5 p.m. -- a four hour difference. "how did ONE hour make it go from…

September 11, 2017
Banking/Finance/Insurance

“How did rich people get their money?”/“They were calm and collected.”

A riddle about money is: Q: How did rich people get their money?A: They were calm and collected. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1976. Google BooksBiggest Riddle Book in the WorldBy…

December 17, 2019
Holidays/Events/Parades

“How did Santa kill a dragon?”/“He sleighed it.”

"Sleighed" sounds like "slayed." A Christmas riddle was posted on Twitter by galarian emolga on May 6, 2016: Q: How did Santa kill a dragon?A: He sleighed it. "Santa hit a…

December 23, 2016
Sports/Games

“How did Scrooge win the football game?”/“The ghost of Christmas passed!”

A popular Christmas riddle based on the Cherles Dickens story A Christmas Carol> is: Q: How did Scrooge win the football game?A: The ghost of Christmas passed! The joke has been cited in print…

August 26, 2020
Banking/Finance/Insurance

“How did the banker die?”/“He cashed out.”

A banker riddle is: Q: How did the banker die?A: He cashed out. "Cashed out" is slang for "died." The joke was posted on Twitter by Simon Phillips on September 4, 2014.…

December 17, 2017
Food/Drink

“How did the blonde die drinking milk?”/“The cow fell on top of her.”

People usually don't die from drinking milk, but a popular riddle is: Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk?A: The cow fell on top of her. The joke was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on…

May 31, 2015
Food/Drink

“How did the butcher introduce his wife?”/“Meat Patty!”

A popular joke about a butcher goes: Q: How did the butcher introduce his wife?A: Meat/Meet Patty! The "meat patty" joke has been cited in print since at least 1999. 12 September 1999,…

February 8, 2018
Food/Drink

“How did the cheesemaker paint his wife?”/“He Double Gloucester.”

"Double Gloucester" is a cheese, but it sounds like "double glossed her." "I missed all that, 'cos I was giving my sister two coats of paint. Yes, I double glossed…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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