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June 2, 2024
Time/WeatherWork/Businesses

“Dear morning people, honest question… What the hell is wrong with you?”

"Dear morning people, honest question... What the hell is wrong with you?" is a saying that has been printed on several images. Many people cannot function well in the morning. Authorship…

December 29, 2019
Time/Weather

“Dear Mother Nature: Having received my free sample of winter I would like to cancel…”

Many people have had enough of winter, even at the start. This was posted on Facebook on November 12, 2019: "Dear Mother Nature, Having received my free sample of winter I would like to cancel…

January 2, 2023
Time/Weather

“Dear New Year’s Resolution, Well, it was fun while it lasted. Sincerely, January 2nd”

"Dear New Year’s Resolution(s), Well, it was fun while it lasted. Sincerely, January 2nd" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The joke originated on the website…

January 2, 2023
Time/Weather

“Dear New Year’s Resolutions, Well, it was fun while it lasted. Sincerely, January 2nd”

"Dear New Year’s Resolution(s), Well, it was fun while it lasted. Sincerely, January 2nd" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The joke originated on the website…

May 15, 2020
Work/Businesses

“Dear non essentials that recently started going back to work….hit the gas, we drive fast now”

The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic saw some non-essential workers quarantined at home. Transportation systems became less crowded. "Dear non essentials that recently started going back to…

May 18, 2020
Work/Businesses

“Dear Plexiglass; Thank you for protecting me from the masked cashier that just touched everything”

The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic saw many retail establishments put up plexiglass between workers and customers. "Dear Plexiglas- Thanks for protecting me from the cashier that just touched…

October 15, 2016
Food/Drink

“Dear Pringles, I can no longer fit my hand inside your tube of deliciousness”

Pringles potato chips are sold in tubes that prevent the chips from being crushed. Adults can't fit their hands all the way inside the tubes, and there's a joke letter to Pringles:…

December 31, 2024
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“Dear public bathroom hand dryers, You forgot to add ‘dry hands on pants’ to your instructions. Sincerely, disappointed yet again”

Bathroom hand dryers almost never work well, and users ultimately have to wipe their hands on their pants. "Bathroom hand dryers are amazing if you want to kill a few minutes before wiping…

July 4, 2017
Radio/Television

“Dear radio stations, you do realize there are more than five songs in the world, right?”

"Dear radio stations, you do realize there are more than five songs in the world, right?" is a jocular line about radio (from a frustrated listener) that has been printed on many images.…

July 3, 2017
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“Dear radio stations, you do realize there are more than five songs in the world? Sincerely, iPod”

"Dear radio stations, you do realize there are more than five songs in the world, right?" is a jocular line about radio (from a frustrated listener) that has been printed on many images.…

June 6, 2020
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“Dear Rioters. IRS Building. Please and thank you”

The George Floyd protests resulted in riots. Some people wished for a good target, such as the Internal Revenue Service Building. "BURN DOWN THE IRS BUILDING INSTEAD OF THE STORES" was…

September 24, 2024
Buildings/Housing/ParksPets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“Dear Santa, beware of dog kisses” (sign)

"Beware of dog" is a popular sign. "Beware of dog kisses" is a sign that has been printed on many images. The sign became popular in 2011 and 2012. "Beware of Dog Kisses by…

November 23, 2025
Banking/Finance/InsuranceHolidays/Events/Parades

“Dear Santa, Cash”

Not everyone wants presents for Christmas -- many people just need money. "Dear Santa, Cash" (also "Dear Santa, You leave cash" and "Dear Santa, You can leave cash")…

November 23, 2025
Banking/Finance/InsuranceHolidays/Events/Parades

“Dear Santa, I want money”

Not everyone wants presents for Christmas -- many people just need money. "Dear Santa, Cash" (also "Dear Santa, You leave cash" and "Dear Santa, You can leave cash")…

December 15, 2022
Holidays/Events/Parades

“Dear Santa, I was naughty and it was worth it. You fat judgemental bastard”

"Dear Santa, I was naughty and it was worth it. You fat judgmental bastard" is a jocular Christmas saying that has been printed on many images. Sometimes "Judgmental" is given…

December 7, 2022
Holidays/Events/Parades

“Dear Santa, I was naughty and it was worth it. You fat judgmental bastard”

"Dear Santa, I was naughty and it was worth it. You fat judgmental bastard" is a jocular Christmas saying that has been printed on many images. Sometimes "Judgmental" is given…

November 23, 2025
Banking/Finance/InsuranceHolidays/Events/Parades

“Dear Santa, You can leave cash”

Not everyone wants presents for Christmas -- many people just need money. "Dear Santa, Cash" (also "Dear Santa, You leave cash" and "Dear Santa, You can leave cash")…

November 23, 2025
Banking/Finance/InsuranceHolidays/Events/Parades

“Dear Santa, You leave cash”

Not everyone wants presents for Christmas -- many people just need money. "Dear Santa, Cash" (also "Dear Santa, You leave cash" and "Dear Santa, You can leave cash")…

December 15, 2023
Holidays/Events/ParadesWork/Businesses

“Dear Santa: All I want is my gross pay”

"Dear Santa: All I want is my gross pay" is a jocular Christmas saying that has been printed on many images. The saying became popular on December 16, 2020, but exact authorship is not…

October 12, 2021
Exercise/Running/Health Clubs

“Dear Science, when I suck in my tummy, where does the fat go and why doesn’t it stay there?”

"Dear Science, when I suck in my tummy, where does the fat go and why doesn't it stay there?" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. "U know when u suck in…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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