“You’re too old to try and ride that skateboard!”/Me—“Hold my Ensure.”
"You're too old to try and ride that skateboard!"/Me -- "Hold my Ensure" is a joke that has been printed on several images. Ensure is a brand of nutritional supplements and…
“You’re wondering about the floor in my building where we go to tell jokes? Funny story…”
A funny "story" ("storey" in the UK) has nothing to do with the floor of abuilding, but there are jokes. "You're wondering about the floor in my building where we go…
“You’ve got to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat”
People sometimes forget to eat, but comedienne Marsha Warfield (who was plus size) said in February 1987, "I hate skinny people. They forget to eat. Now, what kind of stupid is that?" In…
“You’ve got to hand it to relay runners”
Relay runners hand each other a baton. "You've got to hand it to Relay Teams #win100" is a pun that was posted on Twitter by Alan Machnik on November 1, 2010. Machnik also posted the…
“You’ve got to make contacts to make contracts”
"You've got to make contacts to make contracts" is a one-line saying that has been credited to Cavett Robert (1907-1997), co-founder of the National Speakers Association. "It…
“You’ve got to question the legitimacy of the Burger Kingdom if the Burger King is just handing out crowns to anybody willy-nilly”
Burger King fast food restaurants hand out a lot of cheap paper crowns. This was posted on X/Twitter by FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF on May 6, 2023: "You've got to question the legitimacy of…
“You’ve heard of the runner’s high, but what do you know about the walker’s mid?”
Runners sometimes get a "runner's high" (a transient state of euphoria). Walkers sometimes get something similar, but in a milder form. "runners high -- walkers low" was…
“You’d think the bathrooms at Bed Bath, & Beyond would be much nicer”
The store Bed Bath & Beyond has bathrooms (restrooms). "FYI: The bathrooms at Bed Bath & Beyond are not as nice as you'd expect..." was posted on Twitter on May 13, 2010.…
“You’d think the self-checkout lanes would have more mirrors”
Many stores have "self-checkout" lines, but they're not to check out one's self. A joke was posted on Twitter by Cameron on May 2, 2012: "You would think the self checkout…
“You’ll never get rich working at a rubber dog shit factory, but you’ll make doo”
"Make do" shouldn't be confused with "make doo," but there are jokes. "I bet if you worked at a rubber dog poop factory, you'd never get rich.... .....but…
“You’re legally allowed to park in a handicap spot if you get back with your ex more than twice”
"You’re legally allowed to park in a handicap spot if you get back with your ex more than twice" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The joke is that this is proof…
“You’re more likely to divorce than to switch bank accounts”
"You’re more likely to divorce than to switch bank accounts" is a popular saying in the United Kingdom. "People are more likely to divorce than move their account to another…
“You’re not the boss of me. My dogs are”
"You're not the boss of me. My dog is" has been printed on many images, and "You're not the boss of me. My cat is" has also been printed on many images. It often seems…
“You’re only one bike ride away from a good mood”
“You’re only one run away from a good mood” is a running saying that has been printed on many images. "You're only one bike ride away from a good mood" was posted on Facebook…
“You’re telling me a flea is running this market?”
A flea market is not run by a flea, but there are jokes. "ur telling me a flea runs this market" was posted on X/Twitter by MilfLover69 on March 16, 2019, and this received over 199,000…
“You’re telling me a flea runs this market?”
A flea market is not run by a flea, but there are jokes. "ur telling me a flea runs this market" was posted on X/Twitter by MilfLover69 on March 16, 2019, and this received over 199,000…
“Your $10 meal will arrive in 30 minutes for $57.86. Thanks for using DoorDash”
Delivery cost (such as DoorDash or SkipTheDishes) can add significantly to the cost of food. "Your $10 meal will arrive in 30 minutes for $53.89. Thanks for using door dash" was posted on…
“Your $10 meal will arrive in 30 minutes for $58.75. Thanks for using SkipTheDishes”
Delivery cost (such as DoorDash or SkipTheDishes) can add significantly to the cost of food. "Your $10 meal will arrive in 30 minutes for $53.89. Thanks for using door dash" was posted on…
“Your ass must get jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth”
"Your ass must be/get jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth" is a put-down that has been printed on several ecards. "Sometimes I wonder, yur Arse must be jealous of…
“Your bank account can be overdrawn, but it can never be overfilled”
"Your bank account can be overdrawn, but it can never be overfilled" is a saying that has been printed on several images. The bank saying was posted on Twitter by Cool Funny Quotes on…