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June 17, 2016
Food/Drink

“Why don’t they serve chocolate in prison?”/“Because it makes you break out.”

Chocolate has a reputation (perhaps undeserved) for giving some people acne. There's a "chocolate makes you break out" pun: Q: Why don't they serve chocolate in prison? A:…

July 11, 2024
Buildings/Housing/ParksGovernment/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“Why don’t thieves burgle politicians’ homes?”/“Professional courtesy.”

Politicians have a reputation, according to many people, about the same as thieves. "Q: Why don't thieves burgle politicians' home? A: Professional courtesy. #LightUpNigeria"…

August 12, 2022
Sports/Games

“Why don’t vampires gamble?”/“They can’t deal with those stakes.”

"Why cant vampires gamble? They run away everytime someone puts forward a stake" was posted on Twitter by Macauley Oliver on August 10, 2009. "Why don’t vampires gamble? They…

March 8, 2018
Food/Drink

“Why don’t vegans take risks?”/“Because their life could be at steak.”

A vegan riddle was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on March 8, 2018: Q: Why don't vegans take risks?A: Because their life could be at steak. “You kill vegetarian vampires with a steak to the…

November 2, 2016
Food/Drink

“Why don’t you eat fish on Thanksgiving?”/“Because Thanksgiving never falls on a fry day.”

People usually eat turkey -- and not fish -- on Thanksgiving, and there's a riddle: Q; Why don't you eat fish on Thanksgiving?A: Because Thanksgiving never falls on a FRY-day. The joke…

March 1, 2023
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“Why don’t you explain this to me like I wear a mask alone in my car?”

The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in many people wearing facemasks, especially indoors. Some people even wore a facemask while driving alone in their car. To other people, this was a…

September 22, 2016
Food/Drink

“Why don’t you get out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini?”

"Tales of Hoffman" by Irving Hoffman stated in The Hollywood Reporter (Hollywood, CA) on August 14, 1937: "Someone recalled the following line of swell dialog the other day, but…

July 7, 2017
Work/Businesses

“Why don’t you tell me when you orgasm?”/“I don’t like to call you at work.”

A joke about not calling someone at work is in this husband-wife exchange: HUSBAND: Why don't you tell me when you orgasm?WIFE: I would, but you said not to call you at work. The joke was…

March 2, 2018
Time/Weather

“Why don’t you wear snow boots?”/“Because they’ll melt.”

A snow riddle is: Q: Why don't you wear snow boots?A: Because they'll melt. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2003. 11 November 2003, Wisconsin State Journal (Madison, WI),…

October 27, 2020
Food/Drink

“Why don’t zombies eat ghosts?”/“Because they taste like sheet.”

"Sheet" sounds like "shit." "do you know what ghosts taste like? Sheet!" was posted on Twitter by Brian Korte on February 1, 2017. "Why don’t zombies eat ghost?…

September 22, 2021
Work/Businesses

“Why don’t Chinese kids believe in Santa?”/“Because they make the toys.”

A Christmas riddle is: Q: Why don’t Chinese kids believe in Santa?A: Because they make the toys. That is, the toys aren't made by elves in the North Pole -- they're made in China. The…

December 15, 2023
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“Why don’t cows work in restaurants?”/“They kept getting tipped.”

Restaurant tipping is not the same as cow tipping, but there are jokes. "Why don’t cows work in restaurants? They kept getting tipped" was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on February 22,…

June 13, 2019
Food/Drink

“Why don’t hamburger buns get along?”/“There’s always beef between them.”

The word "beef" can mean a food or an argument. "Why did the two buns stop talking to eat other? There was beef between them" was posted on Twitter by bianca on June 11, 2014.…

July 1, 2019
Time/Weather

“Why don’t people get up early in Athens?”/“Because Dawn is tough on Greece.”

"Dawn" is a brand of dishwashing liquid owned by Procter & Gamble. "Tough on grease, soft on hands" is a trademarked slogan from 1994. There are "Greece" puns.…

March 6, 2018
Streets

“Why don’t pirates drive on mountain roads?”/”‘Scurvy.”

A pirate riddle is: Q: Why don’t pirates drive on mountain roads?A: 'Scurvy. "Scurvy" (a disease suffered by many pirates) sounds like "it's curvy." "What did…

March 15, 2015
Food/Drink

“Why don’t seagulls live by the bay?”/“Because then they’d be bagels.”

One popular animal joke (also a food joke) is: Q: Why do seagulls live near the sea?A: Because if they lived near the bay, they'd be called bagels. The joke has been cited in print since at…

October 25, 2022
Food/Drink

“Why don’t skeletons like Halloween candy?”/“They don’t have the stomach for it.”

A skeleton riddle was posted on the newsgroup alt.humor on September 29, 2000: Q: Why didn't the skeleton eat the cafeteria food?A: Because he didn't have the stomach for it! A similar…

October 30, 2017
Music/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus

“Why don’t skeletons play music in church?”/“They have no organs.”

A skeleton riddle is: Q: Why don't skeletons play music in church?A: They have no organs. The popular Halloween riddle has been cited in print since at least 1992. The joke was used in the…

December 16, 2017
Holidays/Events/Parades

“Why don’t strings get any presents for Christmas?”/“Because they’re always on the knotty list.”

A Christmas riddle was posted on Twitter on November 19, 2012: Q: Why didn't the shoelace get what it wanted for Christmas? A: It was on the knotty list. "Knotty list" is a pun on…

March 10, 2022
Food/Drink

“Why don’t they just make the Tupperware spaghetti colored right there at the factory?”

Tupperware often is used for spaghetti and becomes the color of spaghetti sauce. "[Million dollar idea] : Spaghetti Sauce colored Tupperware" was posted on Twitter by Wizard of…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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