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February 12, 2020
Transportation

“Who can drink 20 liters of gasoline?”/“Jerry can.”

"Jerrycan" (a liquid container) is sometimes given "Jerry can" riddles. "Do you know who can drink 20L of water? Jerry can" was posted on Twitter by Kester Tay on…

May 26, 2023
Music/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus

“Who conducts the spring orchestra?”/“May-stro.”

A riddle for the month of May is: Q: Who conducts the spring orchestra?A: May-stro. "May-stro" is a joke on "maestro." The riddle was posted on Fun Kids Jokes on March 20, 2019,…

November 30, 2017
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“Who currently provides your internet?”/“My next-door neighbor.”

An internet joke was posted on Twitter by sickipediebot on August 20, 2013: A salesman knocked on my door today."Who currently provides your Internet?" he asked.I said, "My next door…

July 12, 2020
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“Who decided to call it ‘marijuana possession’ and not ‘joint custody’?”

"Joint custody" usually does not involve marijuana, but there are jokes. "Why isn't marijuana possession called joint custody?" was posted on Twitter by Charlie Ernstes on…

May 6, 2020
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“Who decided to call them ‘murder hornets’ and not ‘buzzkills’?”

In 2020, the United States experienced an invasion of "murder hornets" from Asia. "Can we change the name of murder hornets to 'buzzkills'? #MurderHornets" was posted…

October 4, 2022
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“Who did the government buy the earth from? So why do we pay the government to live here?”

"Who did the government buy the earth from? So/Then why do we pay the government to live here?" is an anti-government saying that has been printed on many images. Both versions of the…

October 4, 2022
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“Who did the government buy the earth from? Then why do we pay the government to live here?”

"Who did the government buy the earth from? So/Then why do we pay the government to live here?" is an anti-government saying that has been printed on many images. Both versions of the…

June 5, 2009
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“Who died and made you king/ God/ boss/ president?”

"Who died and made you (this high position)" is a common put-down of a person who usually doesn't have that high position, but who aspires to it (or a person who has that high…

October 31, 2016
Work/Businesses

“Who digs the graves when the grave diggers go on strike?”/“The skeleton crew.”

A "skeleton crew" has the minimum number of people -- and not actual skeletons -- but there's a Halloween riddle: Q: Who digs the graves when the grave diggers go on strike?A: The…

April 4, 2025
Buildings/Housing/ParksMedia/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“Who do I ring in Google earth to tell them I got my front railings painted and I weeded, and they need to send the car back around?”

Google sends vehicles on streets to capture street views, but it doesn't tell homeowners when the Google vehicle is taking pictures. This was posted on X/Twitter by Sinead Ryan (@SineadRyan)…

October 31, 2016
Food/Drink

“Who do monsters buy their cookies from?”/“The Ghoul Scouts.”

Girl Scout Cookies are sometimes joked to be "Ghoul Scout Cookies," especially around Halloween. "Ghoul Scout Cookies" was cited in print in 1963 and there's a riddle: Q:…

October 5, 2017
Food/Drink

“Who do you call for a taco/tequila emergency?”/“9-Juan-Juan.”

"Who do you call for a taco/tequila emergency?"/"9-Juan-Juan" -- a pun on the "911" emergency number -- has been printed on many images. "Got a Taco emergency?…

April 19, 2014
Food/Drink

“Who does not love wine, women, and song remains a fool his whole life long”

"Who does not love wine, women, and song remains a fool his whole life long" is an old saying. The original German (cited in print since at least 1775) is: "Wer nicht liebt Wein,…

November 15, 2017
Food/Drink

“Who doesn’t eat on Thanksgiving?”/“A turkey because it is always stuffed.”

A Thanksgiving riddle is: Q: Who doesn't eat on Thanksgiving? (or, "Who is never hungry on Thanksgiving?")A: A turkey because it is always stuffed. The joke has been cited in print…

March 18, 2016
Transportation

“Who earns a living by driving customers away?”/“A taxi driver.”

A transportation riddle is: Q: Who earns a living by driving customers away?A: A taxi driver. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1955. 4 December 1955, South China Sunday Post-Herald…

October 5, 2022
Work/Businesses

“Who earns a living driving their customers away?”/“A taxi driver.”

A transportation riddle is: Q: Who earns a living by driving customers away?A: A taxi driver. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1955. 4 December 1955, South China Sunday Post-Herald…

June 26, 2018
Time/Weather

“Who fixes time machines?”/“A quantum mechanic.”

"Quantum mechanics" shouldn't be confused with "auto mechanics," but there are jokes. "There is a hoary old joke: What do you call a physicist who works on quantum…

June 27, 2015
Food/Drink

“Who goes forth with a fifth on the Fourth may not come forth on the fifth”

Bottles of distilled beverages in the United States used to be sold in "fifths" (one-fifth of a gallon), prompting the Fourth of July (Independence Day) joke: "Who goes forth with a…

November 1, 2016
Food/Drink

“Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road to school?”/“The crossing gourd.”

A popular fall riddle about school crossing guards and pumpkins is: Q: Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road to school?A: The crossing gourd. "Yield to the crossing gourd" -- with…

November 1, 2016
Education/Schools

“Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road to school?”/“The crossing gourd.”

A popular fall riddle about school crossing guards and pumpkins is: Q: Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road to school?A: The crossing gourd. "Yield to the crossing gourd" -- with…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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