“9/11 jokes aren’t funny. They’re just plane wrong”
Jokes about the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks on New York City's World Trade Center are numerous, although not politically correct. One popular joke is: "9/11 jokes aren't…
“9/11 was an inside job”
"9/11 was an inside job" is a slogan of 9/11 "truthers" who believe that the September 11, 2001 attacks on the World Trade Center were a false flag operation organized by the…
“90” or “Ninety” (a pretty girl has arrived)
Newspapers.com 8 April 1939, Sheboygan (WI) Press, "What Is Your Number?," pg. 14, col. 2: 90 -- A pretty girl has arrived.
“90% of the regrets in my life involve alcohol and the ‘send’ button”
"90% of the regrets in my life involve alcohol and the 'send' button" is a jocular drinking saying that has been printed on many images. The saying refers to drunk…
“90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works!”
"Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen" (or "90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works!") is a jocular saying that has been printed on…
“91” or “Ninety-one” (English muffin)
Newspapers.com 1 April 1946, Roanoke (VA) World-News, "Observant Citizen" by W. C. Stouffer, pg. 6, col. 7: "Fifty-one" means a hot chocolate and "ninety-one" for an…
“91” or “Ninety-one” (seltzer)
Newspapers.com 27 September 1981, The Herald Statesman (Yonkers, NY), "Counterwailing" by Dan Carlinsky, Suburdia Today, pg. 18, col. 4: 91. Glass of seltzer.
“95” or “Ninety-five” (a customer who walks out without paying)
Newspapers.com 29 March 1936, Helena (MT) Daily Independent, "National Youth Administration Compiles Lexicon of the Soda Jerker After Five Months Work" by Helen Dallas, pg. 2, col. 8: It…
“95% of electric vehicles are still on the road. The remaining 5% made it all the way home”
"95% of electric vehicles are still on the road. The remaining 5% made it all the way home" is a joke that has been printed on several images. The speaker believes that electric cars…
“97” or “Ninety-seven” (vegetable soup)
Newspapers.com 10 August 1941, Atlanta (GA) Constitution, "The Code that Speeds Soda Fountain Service" by Yolande Gwin, Magazine, sec. D, pg. 5, col. 7: Vegetable soup, termed as…
“98” or “Ninety-eight” (assistant manager)
Newspapers.com 9 February 1930, Tampa (FL) Sunday Tribune, "Soda Jerkers Here Talk in Language Hard to Understand," pt. 4, pg. 6, col. 2: 98 -- Here comes the assistant manager.…
“99 little bugs in the code” (programming joke)
The song "99 Bottles of Beer" goes: 99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer.Take one down, pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall... A computer version that has been…
“99.9% of people are idiots. Fortunately I belong to the 1% of intelligent people”
"99.9% of people are idiots. Fortunately I belong to the 1% of intelligent people" is a joke that was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on November 19, 2014. The speaker is not intelligent --…
“99” or “Ninety-nine” (an exceptionally pretty girl has arrived)
Newspapers.com 8 April 1939, Sheboygan (WI) Press, "What Is Your Number?," pg. 14, col. 2: 99 -- An exceptionally pretty girl has arrived.
“99” or “ninety-nine” (manager)
Newspapers.com 9 February 1930, Tampa (FL) Sunday Tribune, "Soda Jerkers Here Talk in Language Hard to Understand," pt. 4, pg. 6, col. 2: 99 -- Here's the manager. Newspapers.com 29…
“99% of my personality is just coffee and I’m OK with that”
"As it turns out, 93% of my personality was (just) coffee" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. “@Gregospeck: I have discovered that 92% of my personality is…
“A pet resting their little paw on you is a sign of respect in their culture”
A saying about pets was posted on X/Twitter by erika on September 7, 2025, and this received over 155,000 likes: "a pet resting their little paw on you is a sign of respect in their…
“A ‘foible’ is something coughed up by cats in New York”
"Furball" can sound like "foible" in a New York City accent. "Foible - what a New York cat does from time to time" was posted on the newsgroup rec.juggling on…
“A ‘conspiracy theorist’ is someone who figures out the truth before most people”
An image has been cited in print since at least May 28, 2022: DAUGHTER: "Mom, what's a conspiracy theorist?"MOTHER: "Somebody who figures out the truth before most people,…
“A $300 bat won’t fix your 50 cent swing” (baseball adage)
Baseball bats can be expensive, but an expensive bat doesn't automatically turn a player into a good hitter. "A $300 bat won't fix your 50 cent swing" is a baseball adage of…