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October 20, 2017
Food/DrinkPets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)

“What do you call a cat that eats lemons?”/“A sourpuss.”

A popular lemon riddle is: Q: What do you call a cat that eats lemons?A: A sourpuss. The cat joke has been cited in print since at least 1943. 1 May 1943, Vernon (TX) Daily Record, "Pepsi and…

January 17, 2021
Food/Drink

“What do you call a cautious potato?/“A hesitater.”

Potatoes are called "taters." There are many "hesitator" -- or "hesitater" -- puns. "What do you call a potato that takes it's time?? A hesitater...…

September 22, 2017
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“What do you call a ceiling bill that makes you pass out?”/“A roof fee!”

"Roofie" (a date rape drug) sounds like "roof fee." A riddle was posted on Reddit -- 3amjokes on September 22, 2017: Q: What do you call a ceiling bill that makes you pass…

November 27, 2021
Work/Businesses

“What do you call a cheap vampire?”/“Discount Dracula.”

Count Dracula (the title character of Bram Stoker's 1897 gothic horror novel Dracula) has nothing to do with discounts, but there are jokes. "The cheapest vampire? Dis-Count Dracula"…

May 3, 2022
Food/Drink

“What do you call a cheese that refuses to go on pasta?”/“Ungrateful.”

Some cheese is grated. For cheese that is not grated, there is a riddle: Q: What do you call a cheese that refuses to go on pasta?A: Ungrateful. The pun was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on May 2,…

March 30, 2016
Food/Drink

“What do you call a chef under stress?”/“A pressure cooker.”

There are several jokes about pressure cookers and slow cookers. This pressure cooker joke is from at least 2002: Q: What chef thrives under stress?A: A pressure cooker. Several politically…

October 7, 2016
Sports/Games

“What do you call a Chicago Cubs player with a World Series ring?”/“A thief.”

A joke is told about players from teams that don't win championships: Q: What do you call a Minnesota Vikings player with a Super Bowl ring?A: A thief. The joke has been told other football…

September 29, 2017
Streets

“What do you call a chicken crossing the road?”/“Poultry in motion.”

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. One version is: Q: What do you call a chicken crossing the road?A:…

April 13, 2016
Food/Drink

“What do you call a chicken staring at lettuce?”/“Chicken sees a salad.”

Chicken caesar salad has a joke: Q: What do you call a chicken staring at lettuce?A: Chicken sees a salad (chicken caesar salad). "What did the chicken say to the farmer about his lettuce…

April 30, 2020
Streets

“What do you call a chicken that calculates how long it will take to cross the road?” (riddle)

A hen riddle has been printed on many images: Q: What do you call a hen who counts her eggs?A: A mathemachicken. "Mathemachicken" (mathematics + chicken) was posted on Twitter by…

April 30, 2020
Education/Schools

“What do you call a chicken who loves math?”/“A mathemachicken”

A hen riddle has been printed on many images: Q: What do you call a hen who counts her eggs?A: A mathemachicken. "Mathemachicken" (mathematics + chicken) was posted on Twitter by…

August 17, 2016
Food/Drink

“What do you call a chicken with a bad sunburn?”/“Fried chicken.”

A popular chicken riddle is: Q: What do you call a chicken with a bad sunburn?A: Fried chicken. "What do you call a chicken that got a sunburn in Florida?"/"A southern fried…

March 2, 2017
Banking/Finance/Insurance

“What do you call a Chinese billionaire?”/“Cha Ching.”

"Cha Ching" sounds like an old cash register closing; by extension, it means money. A riddle is: Q: What do you call a Chinese billionaire?A: Cha Ching. "What do you call A chinese…

October 9, 2016
Food/Drink

“What do you call a Chinese crab?”/“A crust-asian.”

The word "crustacean" has been the subject of a pun: Q: What do you call a Chinese crab?A: A crust-asian. "What do u call a chinese crab? A crustasian" was posted on Twitter on…

July 15, 2018
Food/Drink

“What do you call a cinnamon bun that does well in school?”/“An honor roll.”

A cinnamon bun riddle is: Q: What do you call a cinnamon bun that does well in school? A: An honor roll. The joke was posted on Twitter by ᴊᴀᴍᴀʀᴄ on June 29, 2017. Twitter…

July 15, 2018
Education/Schools

“What do you call a cinnamon bun that does well in school?”/“An honor roll.”

A cinnamon bun riddle is: Q: What do you call a cinnamon bun that does well in school? A: An honor roll. The joke was posted on Twitter by ᴊᴀᴍᴀʀᴄ on June 29, 2017. Twitter…

March 24, 2016
Banking/Finance/Insurance

“What do you call a circle of $100 bills?”/“Aretha Franklins.”

The United States one hundred-dollar bill has American founding father Benjamin Franklin (1705-1790) on the obverse side of the bill. There is a joke: Q: What do you call a circle of US $100 bills?…

November 27, 2017
Music/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus

“What do you call a clock’s signature?”/“It’s John Hanclock.”

A pun about a time signature was posted on Twitter by "jolly dad jokes" on November 28, 2017: Q: What do you call a clock's signature?A: It's John Hanclock. The portmanteau…

November 27, 2017
Time/Weather

“What do you call a clock’s signature?”/“It’s John Hanclock.”

A pun about a time signature was posted on Twitter by "jolly dad jokes" on November 28, 2017: Q: What do you call a clock's signature?A: It's John Hanclock. The portmanteau…

March 12, 2017
Music/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus

“What do you call a clumsy Irish dance?”/“A jig mistake.”

A riddle about the Irish jig is: Q: What do you call a clumsy Irish dance.A: A jig mistake. The joke (a pun on "big mistake") has been cited in print since at least 2001. Kidsjokes.co.uk…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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