"If my body is ever found dead on a jogging trail, just know I was murdered elsewhere and dumped there" is a jocular anti-jogging saying that has been printed on many images. The saying…
"If my boss knew how unproductive I am on Fridays, he wouldn’t want me here, either" is a jocular one-line saying about Fridays that has been printed on many images. "If my boss…
"If my calculations are correct, I have no money" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The joke is that the speaker probably knew about the lack of money and didn't have…
"If my calculations are correct, I have no money" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The joke is that the speaker probably knew about the lack of money and didn't have…
"If my cat/dog/pet makes you uncomfortable, I’d be happy to lock you in the other room" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The joke is that the pet is not being locked in…
"If my cat/dog/pet makes you uncomfortable, I’d be happy to lock you in the other room" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The joke is that the pet is not being locked in…
"If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. It can be difficult to get a family to help clean a…
Children leave lots of lights on. "If my kids knew there was a light in the oven, they'd leave that one on, too" is a jocular saying that as been printed on many images. "If my…
Dr Pepper is a carbonated soft drink. "If my last name was pepper I would go to medical school" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by Charles Rogers on February 8, 2014. "if my…
"If my cat/dog/pet makes you uncomfortable, I’d be happy to lock you in the other room" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The joke is that the pet is not being locked in…
The golf balls of many golfers always seem to find water. "IF NASA REALLY WANTS TO FIND WATER ON MARS, THEY SHOULD JUST SEND ME THERE TO HIT A GOLF BALL" is a joke that was featured in a…
"If nature didn't make it, don't take it" is a health saying that has beenprinted on many images. The saying is usually attributed to Alfredo Darrington Bowman (1933-2016), also…
"If nature didn't make it, don't take it" is a health saying that has beenprinted on many images. The saying is usually attributed to Alfredo Darrington Bowman (1933-2016), also…
"If nature didn't make it, don't take it" is a health saying that has beenprinted on many images. The saying is usually attributed to Alfredo Darrington Bowman (1933-2016), also…
"If nominated I will not accept/run, (and) if elected I will not serve" is the famous "Sherman statement" on declining to run for political office, but William Tecumseh Sherman…
"If not us, who? If not now, when?" This quotation is similar to what Rabbi Hillel the Elder wrote in the Pirkay Avot: "If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And when I am for…
"If nothing sticks to Teflon, how does Teflon stick to the pan?" is a standard joke on many Internet websites. "How do they make Teflon stick to the pan?" has been cited in…
No. 2 pencils are often required on standardized tests. The name "No. 2" refers to the graphite grading scale. A popular joke has been cited in print since at least 1998: "If a…
"When one door closes, another opens" is an old proverb about opportunity. A joke variation is: "If one door closes and another door opens, you’re probably in prison."…
"When one door shuts, another opens" is an old proverb about opportunity. "If one door closes and another one opens, your house is probably haunted" is a jocular variation that…