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July 4, 2017
Education/Schools

“If one teacher can’t teach every subject, why does one student have to learn them all?”

"If one teacher can't teach every subject, why does one student have to learn them all?" is an education question that has been printed on an image. "If one Teacher can’t…

April 7, 2022
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“If only closed minds came with closed mouths”

"If only closed minds came with closed mouths" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "IF ONLY CLOSED MINDS CAME WITH CLOSED MOUTHS," credited to Nicole Aitoro of New…

February 6, 2019
Food/Drink

“If only vegetables smelt as good as bacon”

American syndicated newspaper columnist Doug Larson (1926-2017) wrote in the Green Bay (WI) Press-Gazette on July 16, 1989: "Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables…

August 17, 2013
Work/Businesses

“If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door”

"Opportunity knocks but once" is a proverb that dates, in various forms, to the 1500s. "If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door" is a jocular take on the old proverb…

February 21, 2020
Food/Drink

“If oranges could talk, what language would they speak?”/“Mandarin.”

A mandarin orange doesn't speak Mandarin, but there are jokes. "In a Rosetta Stone commercial, a lady claims to know Mandarin. I had no idea oranges could speak! And with such zest.…

July 27, 2017
Work/Businesses

“If overthinking situations burned calories, I’d be dead”

"If overthinking situations burned calories, I'd be dead" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "If overthinking burned calories then I'd be stick thin"…

November 14, 2010
Banking/Finance/Insurance

“If past history is all there was to the game, the richest people would be librarians”

"If past history is all there was to the game, the richest people would be librarians" is one of the sayings of American investor Warren Buffett. It's another way of stating the…

April 18, 2016
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“If Patrick Henry thought taxation without representation was bad…”

"Taxation without representation is tyranny" was a slogan of the American Revolution. A modern version of the saying is: "If Patrick Henry thought taxation without representation was…

May 19, 2024
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food StoresWork/Businesses

“If paying a cashier a living wage will make prices go up, why doesn’t replacing cashiers with Self Checkouts make prices go down?”

"If paying a cashier a living wage will make prices go up, why doesn't replacing cashiers with Self Checkouts make prices go down?" is a saying that has been printed on many images.…

September 15, 2012
Food/Drink

“If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, what are Girl Scout cookies made out of?”

"If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made out of?" is a joke that has been included in many collections of one-line saying. "If…

June 9, 2017
Work/Businesses

“If people are talking about you behind your back, then just fart”

"If people are talking about you behind your back, then just fart" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Don't get angry when people are talking behind your…

November 22, 2014
Work/Businesses

“If people are trying to bring you down, it only means that you are above them”

"If people are trying to bring you down, it only means that you are above them" is saying that has been printed on many posters. "There will always be someone trying to bring you…

November 2, 2018
Work/Businesses

“If people aren’t laughing at your dreams, your dreams aren’t big enough”

"If people aren't laughing at your dreams, your dreams aren't big enough" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "If people aren't laughing at your dreams,…

March 12, 2023
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“If people can’t be trusted to govern themselves, how can they be trusted to govern others?”

"Sometimes it is said that man cannot be trusted with the government of himself. Can he then be trusted with the government of others?" was said by Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826) at his…

March 12, 2023
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“If people cannot be trusted to govern themselves, how can they be trusted to govern other people?”

"Sometimes it is said that man cannot be trusted with the government of himself. Can he then be trusted with the government of others?" was said by Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826) at his…

May 9, 2019
Sports/Games

“If people concentrated on the really important things, there’d be a shortage of fishing poles”

"If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles" is a jocular fishing saying that has been printed on many images. American…

July 23, 2017
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“If people could hear the next five seconds after we hit ‘end call,’ we would have no friends”

"If people could hear the next five seconds after we hit 'end call,' we would have no friends" is a jocular phone saying that has been printed on many images. "If people…

June 13, 2015
Work/Businesses

“If people don’t appreciate what you bring to the table, let them eat alone”

"Don't let your loyalty become slavery. If they don't appreciate what you bring to the table, then let them eat alone" is a saying that has been printed on many images.…

July 14, 2019
Food/Drink

“If people make you sick, then maybe you should cook them longer”

"If people make you sick, then maybe you should cook them longer" is a jocular cannibalistic saying that has been printed on many images. "If people make you sick, cook them…

May 12, 2018
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“If people were influenced by video games, the majority of Facebook users would be farmers by now”

"If people were influenced by video games, then the majority of Facebook users would be farmers by now" is a jocular saying about gaming that has been printed on many images. The joke…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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