“I’m mad fake at work I be saying shit like ‘alrighty’”
Many people act fake at work, pretending to be pleasant and agreeable with co-workers. "I'm so fake at work. I honestly don't give two fucks about how your days been going smh"…
“I’m more confused than a chameleon in a bag of Skittles”
"I’m more confused than a chameleon in a bag of Skittles" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. A bag of Skittles contains multi-colored candies; a chameleon is a…
“I’m moving from the Milky Way to the Soymilky Way galaxy. I’m galactose intolerant”
"Galactose intolerant" is portmanteau of "galaxy" and "lactose intolerant," and it's often used in puns with "Milky Way." "I can't even look…
“I’m not a competitive person. I’m always the first to admit it”
"I'm not a competitive person... I'll be the first to admit it" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I'm not a competitive person.... I'll…
“I’m not a conspiracy theorist. I’m a bullshit analyzer”
"I’m not a conspiracy theorist. I’m a bullshit analyzer" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I'm not a Conspiracy Theorist. I'm a bullshit…
“I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesn’t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they don’t count”
Jocular advice on eating pizza was posted on X/Twitter by Henpecked Hal on February 28, 2023, and this received over 1,300 likes: "I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight…
“I’m not adding this year 2020 to my age. I didn’t use it”
"I’m not adding this year to my age. I didn’t use it" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was popular in 2020, during the coronavirus pandemic. "I’m…
“I’m not adding this year to my age. I didn’t use it”
"I’m not adding this year to my age. I didn’t use it" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was popular in 2020, during the coronavirus pandemic. "I’m…
“I’m not afraid to die…I’m afraid to live on my knees in a world run by lesser men…”
"I’m not afraid to die...I’m afraid to live on my knees in a world run by lesser men who control the destiny of my children" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The…
“I’m not saying a word without my lawyer present.”/“You’re the lawyer.”/“Where’s my present?”
A lawyer joke was posted on Twitter by Marf on December 23, 2016: [Interview room]Me: I'm not saying a word without my lawyer presentCop: You ARE the lawyerMe: So where's my present?!…
“I’m not saying I don’t like you, but I would unplug your life support to make a pot of coffee”
"I'm not saying I don't like you, I'm just saying I would unplug your life support to make a pot of coffee" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…
“I’m not saying I drink too much caffeine, but I do believe my body will keep moving after death”
"I’m not saying I drink too much caffeine, but I do believe my body will keep moving 48 hours after my death" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I’m not…
“I’m not saying there are microchips in the vaccines, but my right arm just told me…” (joke)
The COVID-19 vaccines were developed within a year, and many people believed that there were microchips in the vaccines. Microsoft Corporation founder Bill Gates helped to develop and distribute…
“I’m not saying we should skip work today and drink margaritas and eat chips and salsa all day, but I’m not, not saying that either”
"I’m not saying we should skip work today and drink margaritas and eat chips and salsa all day, but I’m not, not saying that either" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many…
“I’m not super useful until I’ve had coffee, then I get jittery followed by a caffeine crash…”
A joke about work was posted on X/Twitter by @dad_hard on February 15, 2023: "I’m not super useful until I’ve had coffee, then I get jittery followed by a caffeine crash. At 11 I’m too…
“I’m not sure if I’m hungry, but I’m gonna eat anyway, just in case”
"I'm not sure if I'm hungry, but I'm gonna eat anyway, just in case" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "Can't decide if i'm…
“I’m not sure what’s wrong, but I think garlic bread could fix me”
Many people love garlic bread, and they believe that it can fix any meal. "Garlic bread fixes everything" was posted on X/Twitter by Nichole on May 1, 2010. " I'm pretty sure…
“I’m not too good at push ups or sit ups, but fuck ups? Let me tell you”
"I'm not good at push ups, pull ups, or sit ups. I'm pretty good at fuck ups though" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Im ok when it comes to sit…
“I’m now accepting invitations to have cocktails on your patio. Book me early”
"I'm now accepting invitations to get drunk on your patio. Book me early" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. There are several variations of the saying.…
“I’m offended by bills, can we cancel them!? Isn’t that how it works now?”
A jocular statement on cancel culture was posted on Facebook by Chewy Smalls on March 2, 2021: "I’m offended by bills, can we cancel them!?Isn’t that how it works now?" Wikipedia:…