“I once tried to sniff Coke, but the ice cubes blocked my nostrils”
One joke about Coke (Coca-Cola) and coke (cocaine) is: "I once tried to sniff Coke, but the ice cubes blocked my nostrils." "I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck…
“I once went to Kohl’s on Christmas Eve” (joke)
Kohl's is an American department store retail chain. It is usually extremely busy on Christmas Eve. "Working at Kohl's on Christmas Eve two years ago was seriously the worst thing…
“I once worked as a mannequin in Macy’s department store. I held that position for a long time”
An employee might say that he or she "held a position for a long time." This doesn't mean a physical position, but there are jokes. "My first job was posing like a mannequin in…
“I once worked as a mannequin in"a clothing store. I held that position for a long time”
An employee might say that he or she "held a position for a long time." This doesn't mean a physical position, but there are jokes. "My first job was posing like a mannequin in…
“I once worked as a salesman and was very independent. I took orders from no one”
American humorist Gerald Barzan was credited in the book The Greatest Laughs of All Time (1961), by Gerald F. Lieberman, with a popular line about working as a salesman: "I once worked as a…
“I once worked with someone who told customers ‘sorry, it’s my first day!’ any time they messed up, for 2 years straight”
"Sorry, it’s my first day on the job" is a popular employee work excuse. This was posted on X/Twitter by makayla on May 19, 2021, and received over 728,000 likes: "i once worked…
“I only accept apologies in cash”
"I accept apologies in cash" was posted on Twitter by Luke Sparke on June 3, 2009. "I accept apologies in cash, cheesecake or chocolate" was posted on Twitter by Abhi Gupta on…
“I only carry rare coins. I have no common cents”
The term "rare coins" is often paired with "common cents" (a pun on "common sense"). "Thieves arrested after stealing nearly $69,000 in rare coins. So much for…
“I only drink a little, but when I do, I turn into another person, and that person drinks a lot”
"I only drink a little, but when I do, I turn into another person, and that person drinks a lot" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "Kelkulus"…
“I only drink beer 3 days a week. Yesterday, today & tomorrow”
"I only drink beer/ bourbon/ coffee/ whiskey/ wine 3 days a week. Yesterday, today & tomorrow" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I only drink beer 3…
“I only drink bourbon 3 days a week. Yesterday, today & tomorrow”
"I only drink beer/ bourbon/ coffee/ whiskey/ wine 3 days a week. Yesterday, today & tomorrow" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I only drink beer 3…
“I only drink coffee 3 days a week. Yesterday, today & tomorrow”
"I only drink beer/ bourbon/ coffee/ whiskey/ wine 3 days a week. Yesterday, today & tomorrow" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I only drink beer 3…
“I only drink whiskey 3 days a week. Yesterday, today & tomorrow”
"I only drink beer/ bourbon/ coffee/ whiskey/ wine 3 days a week. Yesterday, today & tomorrow" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I only drink beer 3…
“I only drink wine 3 days a week. Yesterday, today & tomorrow”
"I only drink beer/ bourbon/ coffee/ whiskey/ wine 3 days a week. Yesterday, today & tomorrow" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I only drink beer 3…
“I only eat in three places: here, there and everywhere”
"I only eat in three places: here, there and everywhere" is a jocular dieting saying that has been printed on several images. The saying is from Daniel L. Worona and was printed in his…
“I only have a kitchen because it came with the house”
"I only have a kitchen because it came with the house" is a humorous saying that has been printed on many gift items since at least 2004. The saying means that the house has a kitchen,…
“I only have room for one toxic relationship in my life and that’s dairy”
Many people are lactose intolerant and have to give up dairy, but find it difficult to do that. This was posted on X/Twitter by trash jones on March 29, 2023, and it received over 2,700 likes:…
“I only like New York as a friend”
The "I Love New York" campaign of the 1970s featured the popular "I (heart) NY" T-shirts. Snorg Tees developed a parody T-shirt in April 2009 -- "I only like NY as a…
“I only need coffee on days ending with the letter ‘Y’”
Entry in progress -- B.P."I only need coffee on days ending with the letter 'Y'" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. TwitterGlenn Murray…
“I only need one cup of coffee, but I’m going to have five just to be safe”
"Mornings: I only need one cup of coffee, but I'm going to have five just to be safe" is a coffee saying that has been printed on several images. "Mornings: I only need one cup…