“I owe, I owe, so off to work I go”
"I owe, I owe, so/it's off to work I go" is a popular saying on bumper stickers and other gift items. The saying is sung to the tune of "Heigh-Ho" (the Dwarfs'…
“I paid my rent so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth”
"I paid my rent so don't ask me to come out. I'm at home getting my money's worth" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. So much money has been paid for…
“I paid my taxes, and all I got was this stupid oligarchy”
"I paid my taxes, and all I got was this stupid oligarchy" is a saying that has been printed on an ecard. "My parent went to Florida and all I got was this lousy T-shirt" is a…
“I paid the rent… Now I’ve got a place to starve to death”
"I paid the rent... Now I've got a place to starve to death" (or "Paid my rent, now I have a place to starve") is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…
“I passed 3 liquor stores, 4 drug stores, 5 vape shops, and 9 fast food joints on my way to pick up my illegal raw milk…”
"I passed 6 liquor stores, 8 vape shops and 3 cannabis shops on my way to pick up my illegal raw milk because the government cares about our health!" is a saying -- with several…
“I passed 6 liquor stores, 8 vape shops and 3 cannabis shops on my way to pick up my illegal raw milk…”
"I passed 6 liquor stores, 8 vape shops and 3 cannabis shops on my way to pick up my illegal raw milk because the government cares about our health!" is a saying -- with several…
“I passed a drug test recently, which is strange because I don’t remember eating one”
"@AuburnJokes: An Auburn player recently passed a drug test. Which was strange because he didn't remember eating one" was posted on Twitter by Michael D'Elia on April 29, 2012.…
“I passed my paintball exam with flying colors”
Students who pass an exam easily are said to do so "with flying colors." It's sometimes joked that the test was a paintball exam. "I passed my paintball exam with flying…
“I passed my paintball exam with flying colours”
Students who pass an exam easily are said to do so "with flying colors." It's sometimes joked that the test was a paintball exam. "I passed my paintball exam with flying…
“I passed my physical exam! But I only got a C in Hepatitis”
"Hepatitis C" is not a grade, but there are jokes. "I just took an STD test and I got a C in Hepatitis" was posted on Twitter on May 27, 2011. "I was always a C student so…
“I paused my game to be here” (gaming saying)
"I paused my game to be here" is a jocular gaming saying that has been printed on many images. For a gamer to pause a game, something else must be very important! "Rocket Factory I…
“I pay too many bills to be paying attention to people that don’t pay my bills”
"I pay too many bills to be paying attention to shit that don’t pay my bills 😩" was posted on X/Twitter by 𝒦𝒜ℒℐ𝒯𝒜 . on July 17, 2021. Many people only have time for…
“I pay too many bills to be paying attention to shit that don’t pay my bills”
"I pay too many bills to be paying attention to shit that don’t pay my bills 😩" was posted on X/Twitter by 𝒦𝒜ℒℐ𝒯𝒜 . on July 17, 2021. Many people only have time for…
“I phoned a restaurant and asked for a table for two. The guy who answered said I had the wrong number so asked for a table for four instead”
A restaurant joke was posted on The Musings of Mark Haggan on a page from November 29, 2013 (it appears that the joke was added in 2017): "Phoned a restaurant and asked for a table for two.…
“I phoned the Child Abuse Hotline. A kid answered, called me a…” (joke)
A "Child Abuse Hotline" is usually to report about abuse to children, but a joke has it that the hotline is to get abuse from children. "I phoned the Child Abuse Hotline. A kid…
“I pick fresh vegetables every day. I feed them to my pig and he converts them into bacon”
"I buy/pick fresh vegetables every day. I feed them to my pig and he converts them into bacon" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. "HEALTHY EATING #36 I BUY…
“I plan on marrying into a family that does mimosas on holiday mornings instead of 5K’s”
Many runs are planned over holiday weekends, such as a 5k "turkey trot" over Thanksgiving. "I plan on marrying into a family that does mimosas on holiday mornings instead of…
“I play a little guitar, but mostly I play the ukulele”
"I play a little guitar" is a popular ukulele joke. The pun is that the meaning of "I play guitar a little" is changed when it's written as "I play a little…
“I play a little guitar” (ukulele joke)
"I play a little guitar" is a popular ukulele joke. The pun is that the meaning of "I play guitar a little" is changed when it's written as "I play a little…
“I play in a band called ‘Paper.’ We cover rock”
Rock music has nothing to do with the game of “rock-paper-scissors,” but there are jokes. "I play in a band called 'Paper'. We cover rock" was posted on Facebook by Adam…