“If the internet had a boat, where would they park it?”/“Google Docs.”
Google Docs ("docs" is short for "documents") has nothing to do with "docks," but there are jokes. "If the Internet had a boat, where would they park it? In…
“If the news is fake, imagine how bad history is”
"If the news is fake, imagine how bad history is" is a saying that has been printed on many images. TwitterOshrat Nir@oshratnWritten by the victors. So... #fake RT @AmuseChimp if the news…
“If there is a question in a headline, the answer is always no” (journalism adage)
Newspaper headlines sometime ask a question, and the answer to that question is usually "no." If the answer is "yes," then it's a fact and there would be no reason to ask a…
“If they had just called it ‘the stay at home challenge’ and posted it on social media…”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic forced many people to stay at home. "If they had just called it 'the stay at home challenge' and posted it on Facebook then the virus would be gone…
“If we go to prison for downloading music, I hope they separate us by genre”
"If we go to prison for downloading music, I hope they separate us by genre" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "If someday we all go to prison for downloading…
“If we were really wrong about them, they wouldn’t need to censor us”
Many people and groups have been censored by the media, especially the social media such as Facebook and Twitter. "If we were really wrong about them, they wouldn’t need to censor us"…
“If you are petting a small dog in your lap, it is important to let everyone else in the zoom meeting know…”
A joke about zoom meetings was posted on X/Twitter by Matty on January 8, 2021: "If you are petting a small dog in your lap, it is important to let everyone else in the zoom meeting know what…
“If you call me from a private number, I will respect your privacy and not answer”
People like to know who's calling them before answering a phone. "If you call me from a private number, I will respect your privacy and not answer" is a saying that has been printed…
“If you can read the New York Times without moving your lips, you’re a communist”
"There is a contemporary US joke that a liberal is somebody who can read the New York Times without moving their lips" appears to have been cited in print in 1995 (if the Google Books…
“If you can’t say something nice, become a reporter”
"If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all" is advice given to the character Thumper in the Disney animated movie Bambi (1942). The proverbial saying is older…
“If you don’t hit the reader between the eyes in your first sentence, there’s no need to write more”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: Arthur BrisbaneArthur Brisbane (December 12, 1864 – December 25, 1936) was one of the best known American newspaper editors of the 20th century. Born in…
“If you don’t like the news, go out and make some of your own”
"If you don't like the news, go out and make some of your own" is a catchphrase of Wes "Scoop" Nisker, a San Francisco (CA) broadcaster. Nisker has used the phrase since…
“If you don’t stop lying, you’ll grow up to be a fact checker for Facebook”
"If you don't stop lying, you'll grow up to be a fact checker for Facebook" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The meme has been popular on conservative websites,…
“If you don’t stop lying, you’ll grow up to be a news reporter”
"If you don't stop lying, you'll grow up to be a news reporter" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The meme usually mentions a specific organization that the…
“If you don’t like me there should be no reason why you have me on social media”
"If you don’t like me there should be no reason why you have me on social media" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Facebook by Dionna Dionna on…
“If you don’t like something I post, just ignore it like you ignore government corruption”
"If I post something you don't like, just ignore it like you ignore government corruption" (or "If I post something you don't like, just ignore it like you ignore the…
“If you don’t read a newspaper, you’re uninformed; if you do read one, you’re misinformed”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikiquote: Mark TwainSamuel Langhorne Clemens (November 30, 1835 – April 21, 1910), better known by his pen name Mark Twain, was an American humorist, novelist, writer,…
“If you ever think I’m ignoring you, I swear I am. My phone is in my hand 24/7”
When a person doesn't respond to a text, is that intentional or is that person just away from a phone? "My phone is always in my hand so if you think I’m ignoring you, I am" is a…
“If you Google something and can’t find it, there’s a 90% chance it doesn’t exist”
Many people believe that the search engine Google has the answer to just about everything. "If I google something and can't find it, it doesn't exist. Simple" was posted on…
“If you let social media get to you, I can imagine what real life be doing to your ass”
Many people take social media much too seriously. "If you let social media get to you i can only imagine what real life does to you" was posted on Twitter by Shiloh_ on August 9, 2017.…