“If it’s textable, don’t call me. If it’s not textable, make it textable”
Many people prefer texts over phone calls -- which they do not like at all, ever. "If it's textable, (please) don't calle me" has been printed on many images. "me during…
“If people could hear the next five seconds after we hit ‘end call,’ we would have no friends”
"If people could hear the next five seconds after we hit 'end call,' we would have no friends" is a jocular phone saying that has been printed on many images. "If people…
“If people were influenced by video games, the majority of Facebook users would be farmers by now”
"If people were influenced by video games, then the majority of Facebook users would be farmers by now" is a jocular saying about gaming that has been printed on many images. The joke…
“If she doesn’t text you when she’s drunk, you ain’t the one”
When a woman drinks and she drunk texts, it's almost always to someone she wants the most. "If she doesn't text you when she's drunk, you ain't the one" is a saying…
“If she don’t text you when she’s drunk, you ain’t the one”
When a woman drinks and she drunk texts, it's almost always to someone she wants the most. "If she doesn't text you when she's drunk, you ain't the one" is a saying…
“If she drinks and you never get drunk texts, I got some bad news for you bro”
When a woman drinks and she drunk texts, it's almost always to someone she wants the most. "If she doesn't text you when she's drunk, you ain't the one" is a saying…
“If she drinks and you never get drunk texts, you ain’t the one”
When a woman drinks and she drunk texts, it's almost always to someone she wants the most. "If she doesn't text you when she's drunk, you ain't the one" is a saying…
“If that were true it would be on the news”
"If that was/were true it would be on the news" is a saying that occurs to some people when told of some event (child trafficking, food and vaccine safety, political corruption and more).…
“If the FBI won’t investigate it, they’re in on it. If the media won’t report it, they’re in on it”
"If the FBI won't investigate it, they're in on it. If the media won't report it, they're in on it. If Congress won't talk about it, they're in on it" is a…
“If the internet had a boat, where would they park it?”/“Google Docs.”
Google Docs ("docs" is short for "documents") has nothing to do with "docks," but there are jokes. "If the Internet had a boat, where would they park it? In…
“If the news is fake, imagine how bad history is”
"If the news is fake, imagine how bad history is" is a saying that has been printed on many images. TwitterOshrat Nir@oshratnWritten by the victors. So... #fake RT @AmuseChimp if the news…
“If there is a question in a headline, the answer is always no” (journalism adage)
Newspaper headlines sometime ask a question, and the answer to that question is usually "no." If the answer is "yes," then it's a fact and there would be no reason to ask a…
“If they had just called it ‘the stay at home challenge’ and posted it on social media…”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic forced many people to stay at home. "If they had just called it 'the stay at home challenge' and posted it on Facebook then the virus would be gone…
“If we go to prison for downloading music, I hope they separate us by genre”
"If we go to prison for downloading music, I hope they separate us by genre" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "If someday we all go to prison for downloading…
“If we were really wrong about them, they wouldn’t need to censor us”
Many people and groups have been censored by the media, especially the social media such as Facebook and Twitter. "If we were really wrong about them, they wouldn’t need to censor us"…
“If you are petting a small dog in your lap, it is important to let everyone else in the zoom meeting know…”
A joke about zoom meetings was posted on X/Twitter by Matty on January 8, 2021: "If you are petting a small dog in your lap, it is important to let everyone else in the zoom meeting know what…
“If you call me from a private number, I will respect your privacy and not answer”
People like to know who's calling them before answering a phone. "If you call me from a private number, I will respect your privacy and not answer" is a saying that has been printed…
“If you can read the New York Times without moving your lips, you’re a communist”
"There is a contemporary US joke that a liberal is somebody who can read the New York Times without moving their lips" appears to have been cited in print in 1995 (if the Google Books…
“If you can’t say something nice, become a reporter”
"If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all" is advice given to the character Thumper in the Disney animated movie Bambi (1942). The proverbial saying is older…
“If you don’t hit the reader between the eyes in your first sentence, there’s no need to write more”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: Arthur BrisbaneArthur Brisbane (December 12, 1864 – December 25, 1936) was one of the best known American newspaper editors of the 20th century. Born in…