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March 4, 2024
Government/Law/Military/Religion /HealthMedia/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“If I post something you don’t like, just ignore it like you ignore the corruption of the government”

"If I post something you don't like, just ignore it like you ignore government corruption" (or "If I post something you don't like, just ignore it like you ignore the…

June 17, 2017
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“If I put the Constitution in my emails, would the government start reading it?

"Maybe if we email the Constitution to each other, the NSA would finally read it?" (or "If I put the Constitution in my emails, would the government start reading it?") is a…

December 3, 2020
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“If I say goodnight & an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied it’s just that I failed”

"If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online it's not that I lied it's just that I failed" is a saying that was posted on Twitter by arty on August 28, 2018. Many…

September 13, 2024
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize. I honestly did not think you could read”

"If I've offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize. I honestly did not think you could read" is a jocular social media apology that has been printed on many images. "If…

January 21, 2011
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“If it bleeds, it leads”

"If it bleeds, it leads" means that tabloid newspapers and radio/television news lead their news reports with sensationalist stories, such as violence. The saying "if it bleeds, it…

November 25, 2014
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“If it burns, it earns”

"If it burns, it earns” means that tabloid newspapers and radio/television news lead their news reports with sensationalist stories, such as violence. The Crisis Papers published "If It…

March 6, 2021
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck… Fact checkers say it’s a squirrel”

“If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, swims like a duck and quacks like a duck, it’s a duck” is an old saying. "If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, quacks like a duck....…

June 20, 2015
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“If it succeeds, it leads”

"If it bleeds, it leads" has long been the rule in tabloid journalism, meaning that sensational stories (such as murders) are promoted on the front page. "If it succeeds, it…

January 13, 2025
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“If it’s being blocked, banned, hidden, censored, deleted, or ignored…it’s worth looking into”

"If it's being blocked, banned, hidden, censored, deleted, or ignored...it's worth looking into" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "IF IT'S BEING…

July 4, 2018
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“If it’s far away, it’s news. If it’s close at home, it’s sociology”

American journalist James Reston (1909-1995), then Washington bureau chief of the New York (NY) Times, spoke at the 50th anniversary of the Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism in…

July 23, 2017
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“If people could hear the next five seconds after we hit ‘end call,’ we would have no friends”

"If people could hear the next five seconds after we hit 'end call,' we would have no friends" is a jocular phone saying that has been printed on many images. "If people…

May 12, 2018
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“If people were influenced by video games, the majority of Facebook users would be farmers by now”

"If people were influenced by video games, then the majority of Facebook users would be farmers by now" is a jocular saying about gaming that has been printed on many images. The joke…

December 14, 2025
Food/DrinkMedia/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“If she doesn’t text you when she’s drunk, you ain’t the one”

When a woman drinks and she drunk texts, it's almost always to someone she wants the most. "If she doesn't text you when she's drunk, you ain't the one" is a saying…

December 14, 2025
Food/DrinkMedia/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“If she don’t text you when she’s drunk, you ain’t the one”

When a woman drinks and she drunk texts, it's almost always to someone she wants the most. "If she doesn't text you when she's drunk, you ain't the one" is a saying…

December 13, 2025
Food/DrinkMedia/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“If she drinks and you never get drunk texts, I got some bad news for you bro”

When a woman drinks and she drunk texts, it's almost always to someone she wants the most. "If she doesn't text you when she's drunk, you ain't the one" is a saying…

December 13, 2025
Food/DrinkMedia/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“If she drinks and you never get drunk texts, you ain’t the one”

When a woman drinks and she drunk texts, it's almost always to someone she wants the most. "If she doesn't text you when she's drunk, you ain't the one" is a saying…

November 25, 2020
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“If that were true it would be on the news”

"If that was/were true it would be on the news" is a saying that occurs to some people when told of some event (child trafficking, food and vaccine safety, political corruption and more).…

July 12, 2024
Government/Law/Military/Religion /HealthMedia/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“If the FBI won’t investigate it, they’re in on it. If the media won’t report it, they’re in on it”

"If the FBI won't investigate it, they're in on it. If the media won't report it, they're in on it. If Congress won't talk about it, they're in on it" is a…

September 18, 2022
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“If the internet had a boat, where would they park it?”/“Google Docs.”

Google Docs ("docs" is short for "documents") has nothing to do with "docks," but there are jokes. "If the Internet had a boat, where would they park it? In…

September 23, 2020
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“If the news is fake, imagine how bad history is”

"If the news is fake, imagine how bad history is" is a saying that has been printed on many images. TwitterOshrat Nir@oshratnWritten by the victors. So... #fake RT @AmuseChimp if the news…

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About the Website and Editor

BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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