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September 2, 2022
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“If I blocked you on social media and you see me in the streets, the block still applies”

"If I blocked you on social media and you see me in the streets, the block still applies in real life" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. There are several slight…

September 2, 2022
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“If I blocked you on social media and you see me in these streets, the block still applies”

"If I blocked you on social media and you see me in the streets, the block still applies in real life" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. There are several slight…

January 8, 2023
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“If I could cure cancer, you’d say that I put doctors out of work” (bad press)

"If I (a politician) could cure cancer, you'd (the press would) say that I put doctors out of work" is a saying about someone who can never get honest press coverage, no matter what…

October 4, 2016
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“If I could walk on water, you’d say that I can’t swim” (bad press)

Jesus walking on water is recorded in three of the Gospels of the New Testament. Walking on water (a miracle) is often compared to swimming (a normal activity). A joke circulated in 1945 that…

January 19, 2025
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“If I haven’t offended you yet…. Look through my posts. That shit is in there somewhere”

"If I haven't offended you yet.... Look through my timeline.... that shit in there somewhere.... #stolenquote #Truth" was posted on Facebook by Daniel Chavez on November 18, 2015.…

September 13, 2024
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“If I offended you, I apologize. I honestly didn’t think you could read”

"If I've offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize. I honestly did not think you could read" is a jocular social media apology that has been printed on many images. "If…

March 4, 2024
Government/Law/Military/Religion /HealthMedia/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“If I post something you don’t like, just ignore it like you ignore corruption in the government”

"If I post something you don't like, just ignore it like you ignore government corruption" (or "If I post something you don't like, just ignore it like you ignore the…

March 4, 2024
Government/Law/Military/Religion /HealthMedia/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“If I post something you don’t like, just ignore it like you ignore government corruption”

"If I post something you don't like, just ignore it like you ignore government corruption" (or "If I post something you don't like, just ignore it like you ignore the…

March 4, 2024
Government/Law/Military/Religion /HealthMedia/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“If I post something you don’t like, just ignore it like you ignore the corruption of the government”

"If I post something you don't like, just ignore it like you ignore government corruption" (or "If I post something you don't like, just ignore it like you ignore the…

June 17, 2017
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“If I put the Constitution in my emails, would the government start reading it?

"Maybe if we email the Constitution to each other, the NSA would finally read it?" (or "If I put the Constitution in my emails, would the government start reading it?") is a…

December 3, 2020
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“If I say goodnight & an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied it’s just that I failed”

"If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online it's not that I lied it's just that I failed" is a saying that was posted on Twitter by arty on August 28, 2018. Many…

September 13, 2024
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize. I honestly did not think you could read”

"If I've offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize. I honestly did not think you could read" is a jocular social media apology that has been printed on many images. "If…

January 21, 2011
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“If it bleeds, it leads”

"If it bleeds, it leads" means that tabloid newspapers and radio/television news lead their news reports with sensationalist stories, such as violence. The saying "if it bleeds, it…

November 25, 2014
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“If it burns, it earns”

"If it burns, it earns” means that tabloid newspapers and radio/television news lead their news reports with sensationalist stories, such as violence. The Crisis Papers published "If It…

March 6, 2021
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck… Fact checkers say it’s a squirrel”

“If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, swims like a duck and quacks like a duck, it’s a duck” is an old saying. "If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, quacks like a duck....…

June 20, 2015
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“If it succeeds, it leads”

"If it bleeds, it leads" has long been the rule in tabloid journalism, meaning that sensational stories (such as murders) are promoted on the front page. "If it succeeds, it…

January 13, 2025
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“If it’s being blocked, banned, hidden, censored, deleted, or ignored…it’s worth looking into”

"If it's being blocked, banned, hidden, censored, deleted, or ignored...it's worth looking into" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "IF IT'S BEING…

July 4, 2018
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“If it’s far away, it’s news. If it’s close at home, it’s sociology”

American journalist James Reston (1909-1995), then Washington bureau chief of the New York (NY) Times, spoke at the 50th anniversary of the Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism in…

October 16, 2026
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“If it’s textable, don’t call me”

Many people prefer texts over phone calls -- which they do not like at all, ever. "If it's textable, (please) don't calle me" has been printed on many images. "me during…

October 16, 2026
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“If it’s textable, please don’t call me”

Many people prefer texts over phone calls -- which they do not like at all, ever. "If it's textable, (please) don't calle me" has been printed on many images. "me during…

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About the Website and Editor

BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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