“How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?” (joke)
A well-known "light bulb" joke involving computer programmers is: Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?A: None. That's a hardware problem. The joke has been…
“How much does a hipster weigh?”/“An Instagram.”
A viral joke about Instagram is: Q: How much does a hipster weigh?A: An Instagram. The joke was cited on Twitter on May 22, 2012. Wikipedia: Instagramnstagram is an online mobile photo-sharing,…
“How to start an argument online: 1. Express an opinion. 2. Wait”
"How to start an argument online: 1. Express an opinion. 2. Wait" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The meme was started in 2011, by sources that do not appear to…
“How to start an argument online: 1. Say something. 2. That’s about it”
"How to start an argument online: 1. Express an opinion. 2. Wait" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The meme was started in 2011, by sources that do not appear to…
“How to tie the strongest knot ever: 1) put some headphones in your pocket 2) wait one minute”
Headphones often become tangled. A joke was posted on Twitter by "sweaty five dollars" on April 7, 2013: "How to tie the strongest knot ever: 1) put some headphones in your pocket…
“How to vent on Facebook. Step 1: Don’t. We are all depressed, broke and fat… not just you”
"How to vent on Facebook. Step 1: Don't. We are all either depressed, divorced, broke or fat. It's not just you" is a jocular saying about social media that has been printed on…
“How to vent on Facebook. Step 1: Don’t. We are all either depressed, divorced, broke or fat”
"How to vent on Facebook. Step 1: Don't. We are all either depressed, divorced, broke or fat. It's not just you" is a jocular saying about social media that has been printed on…
“How to vent on social media. Step 1: Don’t. We are all either depressed, divorced, broke or fat”
"How to vent on Facebook. Step 1: Don't. We are all either depressed, divorced, broke or fat. It's not just you" is a jocular saying about social media that has been printed on…
“How to vent on Twitter. Step 1: Don’t. We are all either depressed, divorced, broke or fat”
"How to vent on Facebook. Step 1: Don't. We are all either depressed, divorced, broke or fat. It's not just you" is a jocular saying about social media that has been printed on…
“I ****ing love asterisks! Seriously. I swear by them”
Asterisks are often used in social media to cover up swear words. A joke was posted on X/Twitter by Moose Allain Ꙭ on August 26, 2013: "Asterisks are ****ing great. I swear by them."…
“I accidentally sent my friend flowers over the internet. Whoops, E-Daisies”
A joke on the word "whoopsy-daisy" is: "I accidentally sent my friend flowers over the internet. Whoops, E-Daisies." The one-liner was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on September 9,…
“I always have a quotation for everything—it saves original thinking”
"I always have a quotation for everything -- it saves original thinking" was written by English crime novelist Dorothy L. Sayers (1893-1957) in Strong Poison: Have His Carcase (1932). The…
“I always say thank you to Alexa so that when the machines take over they know I am nice”
Some people say "please" and "thank you" even to a virtual assistant such as Siri or Amazon Alexa. The reason? "Nah, just practicing for when the machines take over? RT…
“I always wait 3 minutes after each tweet for the applause to die down”
A performer before a live audience often waits for applause to die down before beginning the next number. Some people like to think the same thing happens on X/Twitter. Since this is my best tweet…
“I am now ‘take a picture of labels with my phone so I can blow it up bigger and read it’ years old”
"I am now 'take a picture of labels with my phone so I can blow it up bigger and read it' years old" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I am now…
“I am officially ‘they don’t make music like this no more’ years old”
Many people believe that the music of the 1960s, 1970s and 1980s is vastly better than the music of the 2000s. This was posted on X/Twitter by 😊✌🏾 on April 4, 2021, and received over 44,000…
“I am rarely more focused on 5 seconds than when I’m waiting to skip an ad on the internet”
Many people intently wait five seconds so they can click to skip ads on YouTube. "I’m never more focused than when the 'You can skip this ad in 5 seconds' ticker starts counting…
“I am the human version of tangled earphones”
"I am the human version of tangled earphones" is a saying that has been printed on many images. That is, the speaker’s life is not in proper working order. "You are the human…
“I am the human version of tangled headphones”
"I am the human version of tangled headphones" is a saying that has been printed on many images. That is, the speaker’s life is not in proper working order. "When I drink coffee…
“I asked my daughter if she’d seen my newspaper? She said they’re old school” (joke)
Are newspapers obsolete? "iPad can't replace a newspaper for sure at least in swatting a fly!" was posted on Twitter on September 10, 2010. A joke was posted on Twitter on June 24,…