“Hey, Siri, why do I always mess things up with women?”/“My name is ALEXA…”
Many people confuse Amazon Alexa with Siri. "'Siri, why do I suck with women?' 'I'm Alexa you fuck'" was posted on Twitter by WallStreetBets on October 17, 2020.…
“Hold all my calls. Someone on the internet disagrees with one of my tweets”
"Hold all of my calls. Someone on the internet disagrees with one of my tweets" was posted on Twitter by Scottish Hog ™ on August 5, 2013. "@trutherbot: Hold all my calls. Someone…
“Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically”
"Home is where the heart is" is an old saying. "Home is where you can connect to the Wi-Fi automatically" or "Home is where the/your Wi-Fi connects automatically" is a…
“Honestly, it’s not the way I look that reveals my age, it’s my use of complete sentences when I text”
"Honestly, it's not the way I look that reveals my age, it's my use of complete sentences when I text" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was…
“How can you tell the truth is being told? Facebook blocks it, Twitter deletes it…”
"How can you tell the truth is being told? Well, when Facebook blocks it, Twitter deletes it, Google hides it, Youtube bans it, The Media censor it, And your Government forbids it" (or…
“How did the programmer die in the shower?”/“The shampoo bottle read: Lather. Rinse. Repeat.”
A classic programming joke is: Q: How did the programmer die in the shower?A: By following the instructions on the shampoo bottle: "Lather. Rinse. Repeat." The programming joke was posted…
“How do comedians send messages?”/“By tee-hee mail.”
An email riddle is: Q: How do comedians send messages?A: By tee-hee mail. The joke was posted on the newsgroup alt.happy.valley on October 22, 2002. Google Groups: alt.happy.valleyWays of sending…
“How do knights communicate?”/“Chain mail.”
"Chain mail" (amour) shouldn't be confused with postal service mail or email, but there is a riddle: Q: How do knights communicate?A: Chain mail. The joke was posted on Twitter by…
“How do pirates communicate with each other?”/“With an aye phone.”
A pirate riddle is: Q: How do pirates communicate with each other?A: With an aye phone. An "aye phone" (iPhone) pun has been cited in print since at least 2008. The joke has been printed…
“How do trees get on the internet?”/“They log in.”
An internet riddle is: Q: How do trees get on the internet?A: They log in. "Q: How do trees get onto the internet? A: They log on" was posted to the newsgroup alt.cuddle on October 7,…
“How do you make a motherboard?”/“Tell her a long and pointless story.”
A "motherboard" shou;dn't be confused with a "mother bored," but there are jokes. "#How do you make a motherboard? Play on your phone when you're at her…
“How do you milk sheep?”/“With iPhone accessories.”
Apple's iPhone has had many versions, and there are many apps for it. A riddle is: Q: How do you milk sheep?A: With iPhone accessories. "What's the best way to milk a sheep? $30…
“How do you photoshop yourself and still look ugly? That’s like cheating on a test & still failing”
Failing a test is bad. Failing an open book test very bad. Cheating and still failing a test is also very bad. "#worstfeeling cheating on a test and still failing smh" was posted on…
“How do you stop your laptop batteries from running out?”/“Hide their trainers.”
A riddle about laptop batteries "running out" is: Q: How do you stop your laptop batteries from running out?A: Hide their trainers (sneakers). The joke was posted on the newsgroup…
“How do you support a werewolf’s YouTube channel?”/“Lycan subscribe.”
"Lycan" sounds like "like and," and of course, there are YouTube werewolf jokes. "I end all my werewolf Youtube videos by telling viewers to lycan subscribe" was…
“How does a capitalist text?”/“BY YELLING.”
A "capitalist" is sometimes just a person who likes to write in all capital letters. "All caps" is regarded online as shouting or yelling. A joke was posted on Reddit --…
“How does a computer get drunk?”/“It takes screenshots.”
A computer riddle is: Q: How does a computer get drunk?A: It takes screenshots. The joke was posted on Twitter by Prank Call Joy on April 6, 2018. TwitterPrank Call Joy@prankcalljoyQ. How does a…
“How does a computer learn new things?”/“Bit by bit.”
A computer riddle is: Q: How does a computer learn new things?A: Bit by bit. The joke was posted on Twitter by Dr. Aayesha Hassan on February 21, 2019. Twitter Caleb Norton@CalebNorton1How does a…
“How is it possible that every single book is a #1 New York Times Best Seller?”
The New York (NY) Times has a Book Review section, and it has had a weekly best seller list since October 12, 1931. There are many categories. For many people who buy books, it often seems that…
“How many bluegrass musicians does it take to change a light bulb?” (joke)
A popular riddle about bluegrass musicians is: Q: How many bluegrass musicians does it take to change a light bulb?A: Two. One to put it in, and one to complain that it’s electrified. "How…