“Porter, there’s a lamb in my hotel room!”/“Sir, that’s the mini baa.”
"Bar" sounds like "baa" when spoken by someone who drops the "r" sound. A joke was posted on Twitter by Ian Hall on January 13, 2015: "I asked a porter why there…
“Positive, Open, Friendly” (Roger Smith Hotel)
The Roger Smith Hotel is located on a hotel row, at 501 Lexington Avenue. Its slogan is "Positive, Open, Friendly." http://www.jimsdeli.com/lodging/42-51_e/rogsmith.htmRoger Smith…
“Room service? Send up a larger room!”
"Room service? Send up a larger room!" is a line spoken by Groucho Marx (1890-1977) in the movie Room Service (1938). The film script was written by Morrie Ryskind (1895-1985). The line…
“Seven-star hotels are overrated”
Most hotels are rated on a five-star system, with five stars being the highest rating. A joke is that a 6-star hotel or a 7-star hotel is "overrated." "6-star hotels are…
“Six-star hotels are overrated”
Most hotels are rated on a five-star system, with five stars being the highest rating. A joke is that a 6-star hotel or a 7-star hotel is "overrated." "6-star hotels are…
“So fast, I turned off the light in my hotel room and was in bed before it was dark”
The vaudeville team of Moran and Mack -- George Moran (1881-1949) and Charles E. Mack (1888-1934) -- told this joke in 1919: "Am I quick? Why, man, when I go to bed at night and turn out the…
“The difference between men and women is women bring their own shampoo to hotels and men get excited about using the mini bottles provided”
Hotels often provide complimentary toiletries, such as body wash, shampoo and soap. It's expected that hotel guests can take them home, but many guests feel guilty about doing that. Some…
“The Greatest City in Las Vegas” (New York, New York Hotel & Casino)
The New York, New York Hotel & Casino opened in Las Vegas in 1997. Its trademarked slogan is "The Greatest City in Las Vegas." The casino duplicated many New York City landmarks.…
“The hotel towels were so thick, I could hardly close my suitcase”
Many people steal hotel towels. A joke was told in the column "The Hotel Guest" by Jack Geyer, in the Los Angeles (CA) Times on November 19, 1956: "In New York I wound up at one of…
“The sign in my hotel room said, ‘Not responsible for stolen items.’ So I stole some stuff”
Many hotels state that they are not responsible for stolen personal items. A hotel sign joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on February 27, 2020: "The sign in my hotel room said, 'Not…
“There is no fucking breakfast at any air bnb’s. Shit should be called air b’s”
"Airbnb" has "bnb" (shortened from "bed and breakfast") in its name, but the accommodations do not include breakfast. "I’m curious… Why is there no breakfast…
“There’s nothing like the sound of a child’s laughter to remind you that your hotel room is haunted”
A child's laughter is usually a pleasant sound, but sometimes it's not so pleasant. A joke was posted on Twitter by Howard Mittelmark on February 22, 2015: "There is nothing like the…
“This is an elegant hotel—room service has an unlisted number”
"This is an elegant hotel -- room service has an unlisted number" is an old joke about hotel service. It was first said about the Fontainebleau Miami Beach in 1956: "The…
“Uptown, not uptight and decidedly New York” (Le Parker Meridien)
Le Parker Meredien hotel at 118 West 57th Street has served New York City with a French touch since 1981. Slogans have included "Traditionally French, decidedly New York" and…
“Watson, I’ve discovered that our hotel mattress is missing a cover.”/“No sheet, Sherlock!”
"No sheet, Sherlock!" is a pun on the old joke, "No shit, Sherlock!" "There aren't any sheets on the bed"/"Well no sheet Sherlock" was posted on Twitter…
“We’re glad to have you as our guest, And hope you have a good night’s rest…” (poem)
A poem is found in many guest rooms: "We're glad to have you as our guest, And hope you have a good night's rest.Tomorrow, you again may roam,But while you're here, just feel at…
“We’ve got hotels and motels and hostels, but no mostels”
"Hotel and "hostel" and "motel" are words, but "mostel" is not a word. There was a famous actor called Zero Mostel (1915-1977). "So there's a Hotel,…
“What did the hotel manager say to the elephant that couldn’t pay his bill?”/“Pack your trunk!”
An elephant riddle is: Q: What did the hotel manager say to the elephant who couldn't pay his bill?A: "Pack your trunk and clear out!" The pun is that "trunk" has two…
“What do cheap hotels and skinny jeans have in common?”/“No ballroom.”
A riddle about tight pants is: Q: What do cheap hotels and skinny jeans have in common?A: No ballroom. The "no ballroom" (no crotch space for a man's balls) joke has been cited in…
“What do witches ask for at a hotel?”/“Broom service.”
A popular Halloween riddle about witches is: Q: What do witches ask for at a hotel?A: Broom service. The joke was printed in Boys' Life magazine in 1985. Google BooksMay 1985, Boys' Life,…