“Honk if I’m paying your mortgage” (bumper sticker)
The tea party movement of 2009 protested against reckless government spending. The Tennessee Republican Party issued a bumper sticker in February 2009: "Honk if you're paying my…
“Hope they allow us off lockdown by July 4th, so we can celebrate our freedom”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many people locked down in their homes. July 4th is the Independence Day holiday in the United States. "I hope this lockdown ends by the 4th of…
“Hope this virus gets resolved before tick season starts, or we’ll be dealing with Corona with Lyme”
Corona is a pale lager produced by Constellation Brands in Mexico for export to the United States. Corona is traditionally served with a wedge of lime or lemon in the neck of the bottle. In 2020,…
“How about a Black Friday for medical bills?”
Black Friday sales often have reduced price televisions, but most people need reduced price necessities -- especially healthcare. "Black Friday but for groceries and utilities and medical…
“How are an apple and a lawyer alike?” (lawyer joke)
One lawyer joke is: Q: How are an apple and a lawyer alike?A: They both look good hanging from a tree. The lawyer joke has been cited in print from at least September 1998. Other versions of the…
“How are genders like the Twin Towers?” (joke)
Jokes about the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks on New York City's World Trade Center are numerous, although not politically correct. One such politically incorrect joke is: Q: Why are…
“How can I install Dominion on my bank account?” (Dominion Voting Systems joke)
Dominion Voting Systems received much criticism following the 2020 U.S. presidential election, where many people believed that candidate Joe Biden received millions of extra votes. "How can I…
“How can politicians represent you when they are given millions to represent someone else?”
"How can politicians represent you when they are given millions to represent someone else?" -- that is, millions of dollars from special interests -- is a question that has been printed…
“How can the government ‘buy back’ my guns? They never owned them”
A government "gun buyback program" is a misnomer, since the government is buying the guns of private citizens and not "buying them back." "How can you 'buy back'…
“How can they both be right?”/“You’re right, too.”
A popular joke is frequently told about when a judge (or a rabbi) hears a case, telling both sides that they're right. A listener asks how both sides can be right, and the judge (or rabbi)…
“How can we have world peace when we can’t even have Coke and Pepsi in the same restaurant?”
"Pepsi & Coke can't even be in the same restaurant together...and you want world peace" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Pepsi and Coke are rival soda companies.…
“How can you tell good cops from bad cops?”/“Easy. Good cops carry a Goodge.”
"Badge" does not mean that there is a "goodge," but there are jokes. "It's not a badge; it's a goodge" was posted on Twitter by Sidyom H on December 13,…
“How can you tell when a lawyer is well hung” (lawyer joke)
A popular women's joke about men is: Q: How can you tell when a man is well-hung?A: When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose. The joke has been cited in…
“How can you tell when a politician is lying? His lips are moving!”
"How can you tell when a politician is lying?" is the start of an old joke. The answer: "His lips are moving." "How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?" is the most…
“How come so many small towns are named after water towers?”
"Have you ever noticed how many towns are named after their water towers?" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "How come so many small towns are named after…
“How December 2020 is going to look like: ‘Merry Crisis and a Happy New Fear’”
"Merry crisis and a happy new fear" -- a pun on "Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year" -- has been printed on many images. The saying is from graffiti that was painted on the…
“How did a generation raised on South Park and Family Guy become so offended by everything?”
"How did a generation raised on South Park and family guy become so offended by everything" was posted on X/Twitter by lex del rey (@lexintheA) on February 23, 2019. (The tweet had over…
“How did Mussolini win the race?”/“He was the fascist.”
"Fascist" shouldn't be confused with "fastest," but there are jokes. "How did Mussolini win the race? ... he was the fascist. #mysadattemptatajoke" was posted on…
“How did we go from ‘cows are killing the climate’ to ‘let’s build data centers everywhere’?”
"How did we go from 'cows are killing the climate' to 'let's build data centers everywhere'" and "We went from cows are killing the climate to let's…
“How do communists measure time?”/“Ours.”
"Hours" sounds like "ours." "What is the Marxists BLM organization favorite way to measure time? Ours" was posted on Twitter by Charged Neutron $8 on August 2, 2020.…