“How can you tell when a politician is lying? His lips are moving!”
"How can you tell when a politician is lying?" is the start of an old joke. The answer: "His lips are moving." "How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?" is the most…
“How come so many small towns are named after water towers?”
"Have you ever noticed how many towns are named after their water towers?" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "How come so many small towns are named after…
“How December 2020 is going to look like: ‘Merry Crisis and a Happy New Fear’”
"Merry crisis and a happy new fear" -- a pun on "Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year" -- has been printed on many images. The saying is from graffiti that was painted on the…
“How did a generation raised on South Park and Family Guy become so offended by everything?”
"How did a generation raised on South Park and family guy become so offended by everything" was posted on X/Twitter by lex del rey (@lexintheA) on February 23, 2019. (The tweet had over…
“How did Mussolini win the race?”/“He was the fascist.”
"Fascist" shouldn't be confused with "fastest," but there are jokes. "How did Mussolini win the race? ... he was the fascist. #mysadattemptatajoke" was posted on…
“How did we go from ‘cows are killing the climate’ to ‘let’s build data centers everywhere’?”
"How did we go from 'cows are killing the climate' to 'let's build data centers everywhere'" and "We went from cows are killing the climate to let's…
“How do communists measure time?”/“Ours.”
"Hours" sounds like "ours." "What is the Marxists BLM organization favorite way to measure time? Ours" was posted on Twitter by Charged Neutron $8 on August 2, 2020.…
“How do cops like their coffee?”/“Black with a couple of shots in it.”
A dark joke involves a racial policing meme. On the television show Saturday Night Live that aired on October 9, 2022, the "Weekend Update" segment, Michael Che said: "Wednesday was…
“How do dentists pay for their lawyers?”/“Retainers.”
Both dentists/orthodontists and lawyers have "retainers." "A lawyer asked his dentist to give him a retainer. (Pun of the Day)" was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor.jewish on…
“How do flags greet each other on a windy day?”/“They wave.”
"How do flags talk to each other, they dont, they just wave!" is a flag riddle that was posted on Twitter on July 9, 2010. "Q: How do flags communicate? A: They wave!…
“How do you begin a politically incorrect joke?”/“President Ben Franklin walks into a bar…”
Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) was a founding father, but he never became president. A riddle was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on July 6, 2017: Q: How do you begin a politically incorrect joke?A:…
“How do you convert an atheist to a theist?”/“Just give them a little space.”
"Atheist" and "a theist" look almost the same. The latter term just has an extra space. "How to turn an #atheist into a #theist: Just add space. #wonder #AllIsOne…
“How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?” (lawyer joke)
One popular lawyer joke hints at the lynch law: Q: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?A: Cut the rope. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1993. Google BooksGreat Lawyer Stories:…
“How do you know if someone is vaccinated?”/“Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.”
The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in vaccines, and many people advertised their vaccinations on social media. A joke about this is: "How do you know if someone is…
“How do you know when a liberal is really dead?’/“His heart stops bleeding.”
A joke on the term "bleeding heart liberal" is: Q: How do you know when a liberal is really dead?A: His/Her heart stops bleeding. The joke was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on January…
“How do you know when a website is lying? It ends in dot gov”
United States government websites end in ".gov," and many people do not have faith in the federal government. An image was posted on Twitter by hackerbot.eth on February 6, 2021:…
“How do you know when Dracula catches Coronavirus?”/“When he’s always coffin.”
A joke about Dracula (a literary character associated with vampires) and coffin (coughing) became popular in 2020 with the COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic. "How do you know when Dracula…
“How do you save a drowning lawyer?” (lawyer joke)
The drowning lawyer (or lawyers) joke has been one of the most popular of lawyer jokes. A simple form was cited in print in 1984: "'Know how to save a drowning lawyer?' --…
“How do you say goodbye in Arabic?”/“BOOM!”
"How do you say goodbye in Arabic?" is the start of a joke about Islamic terrorism. "How do you say goodbye in Arabic?....Press the detonator" was cited on Twitter on April 23,…
“How do you separate church and state when the state is your church?”
Many people have sought the separation of church and state, but to some people (statists) the state is their church. "HOW DO YOU SEPARATE CHURCH AND STATE WHEN THE STATE IS YOUR CHURCH?"…