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February 4, 2023
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How do cops like their coffee?”/“Black with a couple of shots in it.”

A dark joke involves a racial policing meme. On the television show Saturday Night Live that aired on October 9, 2022, the "Weekend Update" segment, Michael Che said: "Wednesday was…

October 14, 2021
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How do dentists pay for their lawyers?”/“Retainers.”

Both dentists/orthodontists and lawyers have "retainers." "A lawyer asked his dentist to give him a retainer. (Pun of the Day)" was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor.jewish on…

November 22, 2017
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How do flags greet each other on a windy day?”/“They wave.”

"How do flags talk to each other, they dont, they just wave!" is a flag riddle that was posted on Twitter on July 9, 2010. "Q: How do flags communicate? A: They wave!…

July 5, 2017
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How do you begin a politically incorrect joke?”/“President Ben Franklin walks into a bar…”

Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) was a founding father, but he never became president. A riddle was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on July 6, 2017: Q: How do you begin a politically incorrect joke?A:…

July 25, 2021
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How do you convert an atheist to a theist?”/“Just give them a little space.”

"Atheist" and "a theist" look almost the same. The latter term just has an extra space. "How to turn an #atheist into a #theist: Just add space. #wonder #AllIsOne…

July 14, 2014
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?” (lawyer joke)

One popular lawyer joke hints at the lynch law: Q: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?A: Cut the rope. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1993. Google BooksGreat Lawyer Stories:…

May 11, 2021
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How do you know if someone is vaccinated?”/“Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.”

The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in vaccines, and many people advertised their vaccinations on social media. A joke about this is: "How do you know if someone is…

October 23, 2017
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How do you know when a liberal is really dead?’/“His heart stops bleeding.”

A joke on the term "bleeding heart liberal" is: Q: How do you know when a liberal is really dead?A: His/Her heart stops bleeding. The joke was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on January…

September 21, 2021
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How do you know when a website is lying? It ends in dot gov”

United States government websites end in ".gov," and many people do not have faith in the federal government. An image was posted on Twitter by hackerbot.eth on February 6, 2021:…

April 15, 2021
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How do you know when Dracula catches Coronavirus?”/“When he’s always coffin.”

A joke about Dracula (a literary character associated with vampires) and coffin (coughing) became popular in 2020 with the COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic. "How do you know when Dracula…

July 13, 2014
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How do you save a drowning lawyer?” (lawyer joke)

The drowning lawyer (or lawyers) joke has been one of the most popular of lawyer jokes. A simple form was cited in print in 1984: "'Know how to save a drowning lawyer?' --…

July 1, 2016
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How do you say goodbye in Arabic?”/“BOOM!”

"How do you say goodbye in Arabic?" is the start of a joke about Islamic terrorism. "How do you say goodbye in Arabic?....Press the detonator" was cited on Twitter on April 23,…

February 20, 2024
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How do you separate church and state when the state is your church?”

Many people have sought the separation of church and state, but to some people (statists) the state is their church. "HOW DO YOU SEPARATE CHURCH AND STATE WHEN THE STATE IS YOUR CHURCH?"…

May 15, 2021
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How do you tell vaccinated from unvaccinated if they aren’t wearing masks?” (joke)

The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in mask wearing. Vaccines were made available in 2021, and some mask restrictions were dropped. A riddle was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on May 14, 2021:…

April 10, 2022
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How do you turn a bee into an atheist?”/“You smack the beejesus out of them.”

There are no bees in "bejsus," but there is a riddle: Q: How do you turn a bee into an atheist?A: You smack the beejesus out of them. The joke was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on April 8,…

September 27, 2018
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How does a lawyer stop the bleeding?”/“Attorney-kit.”

"A tourniquet" sounds a bit like "attorney kit." "This incompetent lawyer's case is bleeding out! get attorney kit" was posted on Twitter by…

August 5, 2014
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How does an attorney sleep?” (lawyer joke)

Lawyers have a reputation for stretching the truth (lying). A popular lawyer joke is: Q: How does an attorney sleep?A: First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other. The joke has been cited…

October 14, 2021
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How does an orthodontist hire a lawyer?”/“He puts him on a retainer.”

Both dentists/orthodontists and lawyers have "retainers." "A lawyer asked his dentist to give him a retainer. (Pun of the Day)" was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor.jewish on…

January 3, 2017
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How does NASA organize their company parties?”/“They planet.”

A popular riddle about the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) is: Q: How does NASA organize their company parties?A: They planet. "How does NASA throw a party? They…

December 23, 2017
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How does North Korea celebrate Christmas?”/“With missile tows.”

"Missile tow" is a pun on "mistletoe." "Santa knows the missile-tows the line in every way" is the line of the song "The 24 Sours Of Christmas" that dates to…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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