“I don’t take health advice from people who think the world is overpopulated”
"Be wary of taking 'health advice' from people who believe the world is overpopulated... I shouldn't have to explain this one" was posted on Twitter by ZUBY: on April 15,…
“I don’t want any more help from the government. I can’t afford it”
When government "helps" with "free stuff," it often comes with a price, such as higher taxes. Not everyone wants the "help." "I don’t want any more help from…
“I don’t care about mandates because I don’t date men”
The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in some vaccine mandates. The term "mandates" has nothing to do with "man dates," but there are jokes. "no, i don't like…
“I feel like the IRS be like ‘HEHE GIRL MATH’ when takin all our money”
The Internal Revenue Service (IRS) has a reputation of taking people's money in any way possible. This was posted on Facebook by Jefferson County, MO on February 16, 2024: "I feel like…
“I feel so strongly about graffiti in public toilets that I’ve signed a partition”
"Petition" shouldn't be confused with " partition," but there are jokes. "I feel so strongly about toilet graffiti, I signed a partition" was posted on the…
“I freed a thousand slaves. I could have freed a thousand more if only they knew they were slaves”
American abolitionist Harriet Tubman (1822-1913) is often credited with saying: "I freed thousands of slaves. I could have freed thousands more, if they had known they were slaves." There…
“I gave my freedom away to get my freedom back and I’m still not free and it’s all your fault”
"I gave my freedom away to get my freedom back and I'm still not free and it's all your fault" (or "I gave up my freedom to get my freedom back and I'm still not free…
“I gave up my freedom to get my freedom back and I’m still not free and it’s all your fault”
"I gave my freedom away to get my freedom back and I'm still not free and it's all your fault" (or "I gave up my freedom to get my freedom back and I'm still not free…
“I General Lee don’t find civil war jokes funny”
Confederate General Robert E. Lee (1807-1870) has a name that sounds like the word "generally" (General Lee). "Civil War jokes? I General Lee don't find them funny" is a…
“I General Lee don’t find civil war puns to be funny”
Confederate General Robert E. Lee (1807-1870) has a name that sounds like the word "generally" (General Lee). "Civil War jokes? I General Lee don't find them funny" is a…
“I General Lee don’t care for Civil War jokes”
Confederate General Robert E. Lee (1807-1870) has a name that sounds like the word "generally" (General Lee). "Civil War jokes? I General Lee don't find them funny" is a…
“I got arrested for studying abroad. Stalking is what the judge prefers to call it”
"Studying abroad" shouldn't be confused with "studying a broad," but there are jokes. "I got arrested for studying abroad. The police called it stalking" was…
“I got arrested for studying abroad. The police called it stalking”
"Studying abroad" shouldn't be confused with "studying a broad," but there are jokes. "I got arrested for studying abroad. The police called it stalking" was…
“I got arrested yesterday for stealing hay from a farmer. I’ve been refused bale”
"Bail" shouldn't be confused with "bale," but there are jokes. "I got arrested yesterday for stealing hay from a farmer. I’ve been refused bale" was posted on…
“I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor”
Many people put political signs in their yards, and this sometimes gets confused with realty signs. "Remember to double check lawn signs this Primary Election Season, I almost voted for a…
“I got pulled over by a cop with Alzheimer’s. He said, ‘Do you know why I pulled you over?’”
When a police officer asks a driver "Do you know why I pulled you over?', the police officer knows the answer to the question -- or does he/she? This was posted on Twitter by Random Guy…
“I got thrown out of the zoo for making a parrot laugh. Polly tickle correctness!”
"Politics" is sometimes jocularly written as "polly tics," and there's a "polly" joke about "political correctness." "@DanRebellato *starts car*…
“I hate anti-maskers. They make me sick”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many requirements to wear face masks. "I hate anti-maskers, they make me sick" -- with the literal pun intended -- was posted on Twitter by…
“I hate everybody, regardless of race, creed, or place of national origin!”
"I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally" (or "I don't discriminate. I hate everyone equally") is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was…
“I hate people who take drugs. Like cops, DEA agents and customs officials”
"I hate people who take drugs. Like cops, DEA agents and customs officials" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many T-shirts. "'I hate people who take drugs - people…