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December 7, 2020
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How does Santa Claus prevent himself from getting coronavirus?”/“He uses santatizer.”

Entry in progress. -- BP Wikipedia: COVID-19 pandemicThe COVID-19 pandemic, also known as the coronavirus pandemic, is an ongoing pandemic of coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19) caused by severe…

February 19, 2025
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How government works: Breaks your legs; Sells you a wheelchair; Taxes the wheelchair…”

Entry in progress -- BP Wikiquote: Harry Browne Harry Edson Browne(17 June 1933 – 1 March 2006) was an American politician, libertarian writer and public speaker, and investment analyst. He was…

June 15, 2018
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How many cabal members does it take to change a light bulb?” (joke)

A cabal version of the "lightbulb joke" is: Q: How many cabal members does it take to change a light bulb?A: None. They embrace the darkness. The joke is from the Truth, Honor &…

May 5, 2023
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How many chiropractors does it take to change a lightbulb?”/“Just one, but it takes twelve visits.”

A chiropractor version of the lightbulb joke is: Q: How many chiropractors does it take to change a lightbulb?A: Just one, but it takes twelve visits. "How many chiropractors does it take to…

May 5, 2023
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How many chiropractors does it take to screw in a light bulb?”/“Only one, but it takes nine visits”

A chiropractor version of the lightbulb joke is: Q: How many chiropractors does it take to change a lightbulb?A: Just one, but it takes twelve visits. "How many chiropractors does it take to…

January 18, 2021
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How many conspiracy theorists does it take to change a lightbulb?”/“Do your own research.”

"How many conspiracy theorists does it take to change a lightbulb?" is a lightbulb joke with many answers. "How many conspiracy theorists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? They…

January 19, 2021
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How many conspiracy theorists does it take to change a lightbulb?”/“The real question is…”

"How many conspiracy theorists does it take to change a lightbulb?" is a lightbulb joke with many answers. "How many conspiracy theorists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? They…

January 18, 2021
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How many conspiracy theorists does it take to screw in a light bulb?”/None. The Illuminati did it!”

"How many conspiracy theorists does it take to change a lightbulb?" is a lightbulb joke with many answers. "How many conspiracy theorists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? They…

January 19, 2021
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How many conspiracy theorists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?”/“We may never know the truth.”

"How many conspiracy theorists does it take to change a lightbulb?" is a lightbulb joke with many answers. "How many conspiracy theorists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? They…

June 15, 2017
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?”/“None. They just beat the room for being black.”

A "racist police" riddle has been printed on many images: Q: How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?A: They don't. They arrest the lightbulb for being broke and beat the…

December 29, 2017
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How many cops does it take to throw a black guy down the stairs?”/“None. He fell.”

A "joke" has it that law enforcement officers beat up a suspect, then lie about it: Q: How many cops does it take to throw a black guy down the stairs?A: None. He fell. "Q: How many…

January 2, 2017
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?” (riddle)

A "lightbulb" joke about feminists is: Q: How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?A: One. Men can be feminists, too. The riddle was posted to Reddit -- Jokes on August 16,…

January 14, 2021
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How many good cops does it take to change a light bulb?” (joke)

Entry in progress -- BP TwitterSal the Agorist@SallyMayweather(A meme shows a comic saying these lines. -- ed.)HOW MANY GOOD COPS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?I'LL LET YOU KNOW AS SOON…

February 20, 2023
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How many good cops does it take to change a light bulb?” (riddle)

Some people argue that there are no good cops -- and if there are a few good cops, they are powerless to change anything in the system. A joke reinforces this. " "Here's one. How…

February 20, 2016
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How many lawyers does it take to roof a house?” (lawyer joke)

One popular lawyer joke is: Q: How many lawyers does it take to roof a house? A: Depends on how thin you slice them. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1990. Google Groups:…

April 19, 2016
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?” (lawyer joke)

The "lightbulb joke" has a version that involves lawyers: Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: It depends on how many you can afford. This joke has been cited in…

February 2, 2018
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How many lawyers does it take to stop a moving bus?”/“Never enough.”

A lawyer joke is: Q: How many lawyers does it take to stop a moving bus?A: Never enough. The lawyer joke has been cited in print since at least 1989. Google Groups: rec.humorLife 5.HHenry Cate…

December 16, 2012
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How many libertarians does it take to change a light bulb?” (joke)

A classic libertarian joke is: Q: How many libertarians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None. The free market will do it. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1981 and is of…

July 17, 2014
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How many people work in the Pentagon?” (joke)

The Pentagon is the headquarters of the United States Department of Defense and is located in Arlington County, Virginia. About 30,000 people work in the Pentagon. An old joke is told about a…

April 13, 2017
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How many personal-injury lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?” (lawyer joke)

Personal injury lawyers sometimes have an unfavorable "ambulance chaser" reputation. A combination lawyer joke and lightbulb joke is: Q: How many personal-injury lawyers does it take to…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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