“I can’t even press charges on the guy who stole my explosives”

“Press charges” usually means to press “legal” charges. The expression usually has nothing to do with detonating explosives, but there are jokes.
   
“Those who aim torpedoes are always ready to press charges” was posted on the website Pun of the Day in November 2003.
 
“If someone threatens to press charges, then have them arrested for possession of explosives” was posted on Twitter by devin young on February 5, 2011. “I can’t even press charges on the guy whole stole my explosives” was posted on Reddit—Oneliners on August 6, 2020.
 
     
Pun of the Day 
Great One Liners of the Month - November 2003
(...) 
7. Those who aim torpedoes are always ready to press charges.
 
Google Groups: alt.humor.puns
Puns of the Weak 11-07-03 Part 2 The Puns
Stan Kegel
11/7/03
(...)
Those who aim torpedoes are always ready to press charges (Pun of the Day)
 
Twitter
Beth Beers
@WatkinsLadybeth
Replying to @KnightCop
Love your tweets! : ) RT @knightcop: Those who aim torpedoes are always ready to press charges.
12:18 AM · May 28, 2010·Echofon
 
Twitter   
devin young
@DeeAreWhy
if someone threatens to press charges, then have them arrested for possession of explosives.
11:52 PM · Feb 5, 2011·Twitter Web Client
 
Twitter   
sain’t christopher
@jaxxon
If you feel you’ve been wrong done by an amateur explosives enthusiast, do not press charges.
7:09 AM · Mar 27, 2015·Twitter Web Client
   
Twitter
square root of -1
@myopiabillson
Who is always ready to press charges?
Those who aim torpedoes!
Instant Rimshot: http://bit.ly/1eUzUFm
#terriblejester #hourofcute
12:22 PM · May 28, 2018·TweetDeck
 
Reddit—Oneliners
Posted by u/BubblevevoYT August 6, 2020
I can’t even press charges on the guy whole stole my explosives.