“Can someone fix bacon packaging? This has gone on long enough”
"Can someone fix bacon packaging? This has gone on long enough" (or "Can someone please fix bacon packaging? There has to be a better way") is a saying that has been printed on…
“Can someone please explain why I have to pay full price for Swiss cheese?”
Swiss cheese has holes in it. A joke is that Swiss cheese is still charged at full price. "should i really be paying full price for swiss cheese? there are damn holes in it" was posted on…
“Can someone please fix bacon packaging? There has to be a better way”
"Can someone fix bacon packaging? This has gone on long enough" (or "Can someone please fix bacon packaging? There has to be a better way") is a saying that has been printed on…
“Can we all agree to temporarily raise the bar for what’s considered an ‘alcoholic?’”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic saw many liquor stores stay open as "essential businesses." Many people stayed in their homes and drank. "Can we all agree to temporarily raise the…
“Can you put vodka in a humidifier? Asking for a friend”
"Can you put vodka in a humidifier? Asking for a friend" is a jocular question that has been printed on many images. Some people love the smell of vodka. "So what if you put vodka in…
“Can you turn on the oven?”/“The oven simply does not find me sexually attractive.”
Entry in progress -- B.P. TwitterAta Dirilgen@Ata_DirilgenText from my mom: Can you turn on the oven?My answer: I've done everything I can, the oven just doesnt find me sexually…
“Can you use ‘Mountain Dew’ in a sentence?” (“Mount and Do” pun)
Mountain Dew is a carbonated soft drink that was invented in 1940. A popular joke on the name is: Girl: "Can you use 'Mountain Dew' in a sentence?"Guy: "Yes, can I…
“Can’t wait to make a huge Thanksgiving dinner so my child can eat one roll”
Many people prepare a huge Thanksgiving feast, but one person (usually a daughter) doesn't eat much. "Pretty excited about making a huge Thanksgiving feast so my daughter can eat a…
“Canada Dry implies the existence of Canada Moist”
Canada Dry is a brand of soft drinks, especially famous for its ginger ale. There is no "Canada Wet" or "Canada Moist," but there are jokes. "not to freak you out or…
“Canada Dry implies the existence of Canada Wet”
Canada Dry is a brand of soft drinks, especially famous for its ginger ale. There is no "Canada Wet" or "Canada Moist," but there are jokes. "not to freak you out or…
“Canadian Mallomars are called Whippets”
Mallomars are cookies, first introduced in 1913 by Nabisco, with a graham cracker base topped with marshmallow, and coated with dark chocolate. The chocolate melted in the summer, and the product…
“Canapé. Scottish for, I don’t have the money”
"Canapé" can sound like "can not pay." "What did the Scotsman say when he didn’t have the money for his Hors d'oeuvre bill? I canapé" was posted on Twitter by…
“Candy cane wishes and mistletoe kisses”
"Candy cane wishes and mistletoe kisses" is a Christmas saying that has been printed on many images. "Candy Cane Wishes & Mistletoe Kisses" was posted on Twitter by…
“Candy corn is just corn turned into corn syrup then back into corn”
Candy corn is made primarily from sugar and corn syrup. "Candy corn is the only truth in the world. High fructose corn syrup formed BACK into corn" was posted on Twitter on October 8,…
“Candy corn is the raisin of the candy world”
Many people do not like candy corn. It's been said that candy corn is like raisins in the candy world -- not a proper fit. "Candy corn is the raisin of candy" was posted on X/Twitter…
“Candy corn: The texture may be gross but at least the flavor is terrible”
Candy corn is disliked by many people. "Candy corn: The texture may be off-putting but at least the flavor is horrible" was posted on Twitter by Kumail Nanjiani on December 1, 2014. (The…
“Candy corn: The texture may be off-putting but at least the flavor is horrible”
Candy corn is disliked by many people. "Candy corn: The texture may be off-putting but at least the flavor is horrible" was posted on Twitter by Kumail Nanjiani on December 1, 2014. (The…
“Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker”
American poet Ogden Nash (1902-1971) published "Random Reflections" in The New Yorker magazine on August 8, 1930, and this became, perhaps, his most famous poem: "ON…
“Candy is dandy, but wine is divine”
"Candy is dandy, but wine is divine" is a wine saying that has been printed on many images. "Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker" (published in The New Yorker on 1930) is a…
“Cannibal 1: Your wife makes great soup. Cannibal 2: Yes, but I’ll miss her.”
There's a difference, when a wife "makes soup," between "preparing" the soup and "being in" the soup. A cannibal joke is: Cannibal 1: Your wife makes great soup.…