“What did the bottle write on the postcard?”/“Wish you were beer!”
"Wish you were beer" is a drinking pun on “Wish you were here.” A riddle is: Q: What did the bottle write on the postcard?A: "Wish you were beer!" The riddle was posted on…
“What did the bowling vegetable get on that last frame?”/“A spare, I guess.”
"A spare I guess" for "asparagus" is a pun that has been printed on several images. A bowling "spare" asparagus pun is the most popular. "The joke will have…
“What did the bread say to the butter?/‘You’re my butter half.’”
"You're my better half" shouldn't be confused with "you're my butter half," but there are jokes. "what did the skim milk say to the cream? 'You're…
“What did the broccoli say to the getaway driver?”/“Floret.”
The word "floret" (a cluster of flower buds) is pronounced in English as "floor it." In French, the word "floret" sounds like "floor-ay." There have been…
“What did the bunny say when he had only thistles to eat?”/“Thistle have to do!”
An animal riddle (frequently told at Easter) is: Q: What did the bunny say when he had only thistles to east?A: "Thistle have to do!" The "thistle" pun has been cited in print…
“What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend?”/“He wiped his ass.”
A cannibalism riddle is: Q: What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend?A: He wiped his ass. The joke was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on October 1, 1993. Google Groups:…
“What did the cannibal eat at the Chinese restaurant?”/“Chow Man.”
A cannibal riddle involving a Chinese restaurant is: Q: What did the cannibal eat at the Chinese restaurant?A: Chow Man. The riddles was posted to Reddit -- Dad Jokes on April 9, 2017. Reddit --…
“What did the cauliflower bank robber say to the broccoli getaway driver?”/“Floret.”
The word "floret" (a cluster of flower buds) is pronounced in English as "floor it." In French, the word "floret" sounds like "floor-ay." There have been…
“What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror?”/“Halloumi!”
A popular cheese joke is: Q: What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror?A: Halloumi! (Hello me!) The joke has been cited in print since at least 2009. Wikipedia: HalloumiHalloumi…
“What did the chemist have for lunch? A Pb and J sandwich! And then he died of lead poisoning”
A peanut butter and jelly sandwich (PB&J) is popular in the United States. However, "Pb" is the chemical symbol for lead. "J" is an old symbol for iodine.…
“What did the chicken do when she saw a bucket of fried chicken?”/“She kicked the bucket!”
A chicken riddle is: Q: What did the chicken do when she saw a bucket of fried chicken?A: She kicked the bucket! To "kick the bucket" means to die. The joke was posted on the newsgroup…
“What did the chocolate sauce say to the ice cream?”/“I’m sweet on you!”
An ice cream riddle -- popular on Valentine's Day -- is: Q: What did the chocolate sauce/syrup say to the ice cream?A: "I'm sweet on you!" The riddle has been cited in print…
“What did the cold and angry man have for dinner?”/“A BrrrrGrrrrr.”
"Burger" is sometimes written as "BrrrrGrrrr," with the joking explanation that it's eaten by someone who is cold (brrrr) and angry (grrrr). "What did the hungry,…
“What did the cute Starburst say to the Mars Bar?”/“Going my Milky Way?”
A joke about cosmic candy names is: Q: What did the cute Starburst say to the Mars Bar?A: Going my Milky Way? The joke was posted on Twitter on May 16, 2012. Wikipedia: Starburst…
“What did the deer forget when trying to make pizza?”/“The doe.”
"Doe" and "dough" are homonyms. "Oh deer. At least the bad puns are for some pizza doe" was posted on Twitter on February 10, 2011. "Million dollar idea: Start…
“What did the Dorito say to the cowboy?”/“Cool ranch.”
"Cool Ranch" Doritos tortilla chips contain ranch dressing, but not an actual ranch. A Doritos riddle about this is: Q: What did the Dorito say to the cowboy?A: "Cool ranch."…
“What did the egg say when it got turned up?”/“Om lit.”
"What did the egg say when it got turned up?"/"Om lit (omelet/omelette)" is a joke that has been printed on GIFs. "Turned up" and "lit" are slang for…
“What did the farmer give his wife for Valentine’s Day?”/“Hogs and kisses.”
A Valentine's Day riddle is: Q: What did the farmer give his wife for Valentine's Day?A: Hogs and kisses. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1998. 14 February 1998, The San…
“What did the fisherman say to the magician?”/“Pick a cod, any cod.”
"Cod" can sound like "card." A riddle has been printed on many images: Q: What did the fisherman say to the magician?A: "Pick a cod, any cod." The joke has been cited…
“What did the full glass of water say to the empty glass?”/“You look drunk.”
Is an empty glass drunk? "What did the full glass say to the empty glass? 'You look drunk'"" was posted on Twitter by 𝑀𝒾𝒸𝓀 on June 18, 2019. "What did the…